da Page 879 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hulk Remains Our Soccer Hero
We've never shied away from naming Hulk our favorite international footballer, and with good reason: the dude launches rockets off his foot that are a far bigger threat than anything North Korea could stick together with Silly Putty. (Ex.) The Brazilian striker was back at his old tricks yesterday ...
The Coming War: A Military Doctor's Field Guide To Masturbating In Afghanistan
The past decade of combat operations in Iraq and Afghanistan has given military physicians such as myself the important opportunity to gather unprecedented data on some of our most pressing medical issues. This data set has spurred advances in the care of trauma, hemorrhagic shock, traumatic brain i...
Hockey Dad Heckles Children, Makes Violent Threats While Holding His Infant Child
The worst thing about little league sports will always be what it does to the players' parents. There is just something about children playing sports that draws out the darkest parts of the adult soul. Case in point: the madman in the video above who shouts, "He's a midget!" at a child who is tryi...
Here's A Video Of Dogs Saying "I Love You"
Originally published Feb. 14, 2011....
<em>A Good Day To Die Hard</em> Is The Worst <em>Die Hard</em> of Them All
As far as action movie franchises go, the Die Hard films hold up pretty damned well. The first one is obviously a classic: Grierson summed up its enduring charms quite well over at IFC. But the way the movies worked never seemed a proper fit for a franchise. The greatness of Die Hard lies in large p...
Will Eating Decades-Old Athlete Candy Bars Kill You? A Taste Test
"You're not going to eat it, are you?" the eBay seller asked, after we had completed our purchase. "People have been asking me if they can eat it, and that's probably not a good idea."...
The Fighting Illini Ticket Office Chose An Unfortunate Picture To Advertise The Penn State Game
Illinois's ticket office sent this email blast out to its fans early this morning—view the full email online here, while it lasts—as a Valentine's Day promotion. The team beat Purdue by 20 at home last night, and so it's trying to move tickets to its next home game, against the woeful Nittany Lions....
These Fans At The Saddledome Last Night Are True Jagr Meisters
The world's favorite mulleted hockey enfant terrible isn't so much an enfant these days as elderly, but that doesn't stop fans of Stars winger Jaromir Jagr from showing up in arenas across the NHL to show their appreciation for one of the sport's greats. Several such fans showed up in Calgary last ...
Valentine's Day Special: The Movie Couples That Don't Belong Together
We've never quite understood the appeal of going to movies for Valentine's Day. Movie-watching is, after all, a solitary activity in which a person sits in the dark staring straight ahead in silence for two hours. But people do it anyway. Perhaps that's because romance is the central activity of rou...
Dear Internet: You Are Not Doing The Harlem Shake
One thing we can always count on to make the internet a slightly more horrible place is viral dance videos. It's a remarkably dependable feature of the web. For the past few weeks that viral dance video has been the "Harlem Shake," in which a single person does a dance move that is not the actual "...
<em>Around The Horn</em> Viewers Continue To Be Mystified By Ash Wednesday
For years, Around The Horn host Tony Reali has proudly worn the mark of Ash Wednesday upon his forehead while hosting that day's program. While other talent on other networks might not have such freedom, Reali's clearly a person who both believes strongly in his faith and works on a program that do...
Here's Why You Don't Tell Your Mom When Your Ski Races Are Scheduled
The other day, Yuri Danilochkin of Belarus went flying down the slope in the downhill competition at the FIS World Cup championships in Schladming, Austria. He just never made it past the first turn. Crashes happen in skiing, but be sure to watch what happens at the 58-second mark of the video abo...
Rookie Golfer Gets Bitten By Black Widow On Fourth Hole, Digs Out Venom With Her Tee, Finishes Round
Daniela Holmqvist, a Swedish rookie on the Ladies European Tour and former Cal golfer, was on the fourth hole in a pre-qualifier for the Women's Australian Open in Yarralumla, Australia, yesterday when she felt a sharp pain in her ankle. She looked down, she told Golf Digest later—after not dying by...
Tuesday Night Fights: Four Ladies, One Elevator Brawl
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "quebra pau no elevador." Tonight's commentator: Emma Carmichael. (Coming next week: Redneck action, yo.)...
Watch This Gigantic High School Running Back Score Fat Guy Touchdowns
One of the sadder developments in the NFL has been the extinction of the fat running back. Gone are the days when Jerome Bettis, T.J. Duckett, Ron Dayne, Najeh Davenport, and LenDale White made a living by hefting their considerable weight up and down the field....
Joe Buck Calls A Hockey Game (Sort Of)
St. Louis's favorite son, Joe Buck, was on hand for Blues-Kings last night and the St. Louis booth of Darren Pang and John Kelly invited Joe inside for some lively banter and a surprise play-by-play turn. Buck admittedly has no idea who any of the Kings are—to be fair to Joe, neither does Los Angel...
The Seven Stages Of Phil Knight Not Knowing What The Hell He's Talking About
The NCAA and Louis Freeh have found spots on Phil Knight's ever-changing shit list. One group never on the list? The Paternos; Knight's feelings for the late Joe Paterno and his family have never wavered. Rather, he's just struggled with accepting those feelings depending on who happened to have re...
Washington Redskins "Proudly" Defend Their Name In The Dumbest Way Possible
Here in the 21st century, there is a growing sentiment that the Washington Redskins should finally adopt a less offensive team name. DC mayor Vincent Gray wants the name changed. Longtime DC newsman and real-life Sugar Bear Jim Vance wants the name changed. And Mike Florio wants RGIII to want the na...
The Golden State Warriors' New Alternate Jersey Has Sleeves, For Some Reason
The Golden State Warriors today debuted a new alternate jersey that they're calling "revolutionary," "innovative," and "profound."...