da Page 945 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Rockies Are Losing Because They Were Mean To Ubaldo Jimenez, Idiot Columnist Claims
The Colorado Rockies have been awful this year. For example: Jamie Moyer was the team's most reliable starting pitcher for a good chunk of the season. After they ditched Moyer, Jeff Francis came back for the lamest return-of-the-prodigal-son ever (he gave up eight earned runs in less than four innin...

How Do You Defend Jerry Sandusky?
It's not going to be easy. Like "climbing Mount Everest," his own lawyer told the jury this morning. Eight accusers will testify against Jerry Sandusky, and tell the jury that he lavished gifts on them, groped them, had sex with them. A poll from November showed that only three percent of Pennsylvan...

Report: Emails Indicate Ousted Penn State President Allegedly Said Not Reporting Jerry Sandusky To Cops Would Be "Humane"
So your bombshell revelation on the first day of the Jerry Sandusky trial has nothing to do with the case against Sandusky himself. NBC news reported this morning that Graham Spanier, the university president fired along with Joe Paterno in the days after the scandal broke last November, could face ...

Twins Fans Grasp Coprophilia-Based Humor Better Than Any Other MLB Fanbase
Francisco Liriano fell to 1-7 on the season as the Cubs rocked the Twins in Minneapolis Sunday. While some Minnesota fans think the team as a whole is playing like shit, insiders point to the crappy performance by several players—Liriano and fellow pitcher Carl Pavano among them. Don't count the Tw...

Rafael Nadal Wins French Open On Novak Djokovic's Double Fault, Restoring Balance To Tennis's Best Rivalry
The conditions were better, the courts were (mostly) drier and the power and topspin returned to Rafael Nadal's game. It took Nadal less than an hour today to break Djokovic's serve twice and win the fourth set, 7-5, continuing yesterday's suspended match and take his seventh French Open....

Junior Hockey Coach Suspended and Fined For Letting Team Study For Finals
Stand-in for every middle-aged Canadian male ever, Brian Cranford, has been suspended for one year from coaching his junior hockey team. He was also fined $2,000.00. Cranford is a volunteer coach for the Mount Pearl Junior Blades and, during a recent tournament, he allowed his team to miss the open...

Royals Teammate Was Probably Just Trying To Tell Bruce Chen He Had Something In His Eyes
During the Kansas City Royals 5-3 loss to the Pirates on Saturday Bruce Chen, who, interestingly enough, happens to be of Chinese descent, was doing a silly little in-game interview in anticipation of his big time face-off with the Pirates and A.J. Burnett. Then Humberto Quintero, the Royals catche...

Jim Nantz Is Getting Married At Pebble Beach Today
"Hello friends and welcome to the 2012 Jim Nantz Wedding At Historic Pebble Beach Golf Links. Phil Simms will be with us in a few moments." This magnificent vista will host the marriage ceremony for Jim Nantz and Courtney Richards. It is the seventh hole at Pebble Beach and will make for some lovel...

Former Tennessee Titans DB Wade Davis Discusses Being Gay In The NFL
The Wade Davis story has been making the rounds recently and it is an interesting one. Ten years ago he was struggling to earn a spot with the Tennessee Titans while also keeping up appearances in the Tennessee locker room. In an interview with Outsports, discussing his time with the Titans and tea...

Wearing A Fish Bib And Singing An Italian Song Did Not Give Tommy Lasorda Or Lou Piniella A Heart Attack, TMZ Says
This was the scene Sunday evening at Bamonte's, an Italian restaurant in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn that's been open since 1900. Bamonte's is a wonderfully old-school red-sauce joint—try the stuffed peppers appetizer and the eggplant rollatini—and it's not uncommon there for a couple of ol...

Whose Post-<i>SNL</i> Film Career Is Andy Samberg Most Likely To Have?
It was fitting how Andy Samberg decided to leave Saturday Night Live. His castmate Kristen Wiig's departure had been talked about for months, the anticipation heightened by her Bridesmaids success and Oscar nomination, and she was given an unprecedented sendoff on the season's final episode to refle...

The A's Are Hopeless And Heartless
The Athletics are bad. They are last in the league in hits, total bases, RBIs, batting average, slugging percentage, and OBP. (Semi-silver lining: they have grounded into the fewest double plays, but only because no one's ever on base.) They're not mathematically eliminated just yet, but man, if eve...

Usain Bolt Gets Post-Race Perks Other Runners Usually Don't
Despite having more problems with blocks than a kid missing a piece to his Millennium Falcon Lego set, Usain Bolt cruised to a 100m victory in Oslo yesterday—then took out a flower girl who didn't quite realize that human legs don't have disc brakes....

Glory Days: Dez Bryant Whipped Out His Highlight Video Just To Taunt My Friend
An occasional series featuring our readers' tales of momentary sports glory. If you've got a video of your own brush with athletic greatness, send it to [email protected], subject: Glory Days....

The Single Worst Thing We've Ever Read In A Student-Athlete's Homework
Former Memphis DE Dasmine Cathey took a four-week mass communication course in the summer of 2010....

Better Know An Umpire: Dan Iassogna
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

Metta World Peace Does The Weather
Somewhere, in a parallel universe, the Lakers won the Western Conference last night in a final hurrah for an aging team. Here in this universe, the Lakers are out, the Thunder are moving on, and Metta World Peace is a weatherman in Vancouver....

Fox's Baseball Analysis Continues To Get More In-Depth
Here's a shot from Saturday's Cubs-Giants matchup, in which the Ford "keys to the game" were so basic they were more apt of being sponsored by Power Wheels or perhaps Matchbox....

The Next Four Jerry Sandusky Jurors All Have Penn State Ties, Including Three University Employees
We remarked yesterday on the difficulty of finding jurors in Centre County, Pa., with no connection to Penn State, and so it has come to pass: Four of the nine picked yesterday have some tie to Penn State or to one of the witnesses likely to be involved. And three of the four chosen this morning (in...
![How A Teenager With A Fake Escort Service Duped Darren Rovell And CNBC [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17oy9pv00sq5dpng.png)
How A Teenager With A Fake Escort Service Duped Darren Rovell And CNBC [UPDATE]
An 18-year-old high school senior named Tim was bored one day last November when CNBC's sports biz guy, Darren Rovell, sent out the following tweet:...