da Page 950 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Deconstructing Jimmy Johnson's Commercial For Medically Ineffective Penis Pills
It's one thing to sling Viagra, like Rafael Palmeiro and Mark Martin used to do. It's quite another to hawk Extenze, the "natural male enhancement pill" that has no evident medical benefits. But that doesn't stop the shameless Jimmy Johnson. These commercials have aired since 2010, but no one had ...

What Kind Of Politics Writer Can't Even Use A Sports Metaphor Properly? Most Of Them, Actually.
Republished from The Classical....

TNT Should Not Have Allowed This Morbidly Obese Sixers Fan To Participate In The Shirt-Off
The Utah State Aggies have a superfan named Wild Bill who distracts free throw shooters by wearing bizarre, Disney-inspired outfits that often reveal his generous girth....

Notre Dame LB Arrested At House Party Allegedly Told Cop, "My People Will Get You"
Notre Dame quarterback Tommy Rees initially was the one who looked like he was in deep shit after what allegedly happened when cops broke up a huge off-campus house party two weeks ago. Rees faces misdemeanor charges including resisting arrest and battery, though prosecutors did reduce that latter c...

<em>What To Expect When You're Expecting</em> Makes Me Want To Get A Vasectomy
My wife and I love kids—we just don't want to have any of our own. That shouldn't be a big deal, but sometimes other people sure act like it is. There have been a few too many instances when my wife and I have been around other folks' babies and the inevitable question comes up: "When are you two go...

Reconstructing The Most Exciting Day In The History Of Soccer (And Maybe Sports, Period)
The final day of the 2011 MLB regular season enchanted us with its insanity; its events became a video game montage and inspired its own tag here on Deadspin. That day, however, only determined which teams would gain entry to the playoffs. By comparison, Sunday's final day of the English Premier ...

Laurie Fine Goes To A Castle To Tell The World She Didn't Hump The Ball Boy (Among Other Things)
GENEVA, N.Y.—At 11 a.m. today, Laurie Fine stood outside of a castle about an hour west of the Syracuse University apartments in which, according to a former ball boy's testimony, she had sex with Syracuse men's basketball players. Here, flanked by the sun, the tweeting birds, and the rippling water...

24-Year-Old Finance Guy Asks All His Dates To Complete A Creepy Survey Afterward
Last month, we brought you a finance guy's way-too-detailed spreadsheet of the ladies he met on Match.com. A reader who enjoyed that post then passed along this survey she received from a man she briefly dated in Philadelphia....

Outtakes From My Four Hours With Justin Bieber, The Swaggiest Of Swaggy Bros
I interviewed Justin Bieber for GQ—Bieber had just turned 18, so they sent me to Los Angeles to try to make a man out of him—and one of the strange things about his life is that he seems to be surrounded by adults at all times. He arrived at the studio surrounded by adults. His two closest friends a...

Laurie Fine To File Libel Suit Against ESPN
That "major announcement" that Laurie Fine promised for us later this morning, at a castle for some reason? It's exactly what you thought. Fine is bringing a libel lawsuit against ESPN, reporter Mark Schwarz, and producer Arty Berko for their reporting of child sexual abuse allegations against forme...

Shaq beat Chuck In TNT's <em>Inside The NBA</em> Shirt-Off Thanks To Fake, Painted-On Abs
The Inside The NBA "Shirt-Off" that brought us this priceless moment of Charles Barkley handling a Shake Weight came to its conclusion last night, with Chuck and Shaq disrobing to show off their unique physiques. While Sir Charles's suspiciously pube-like chest hair was horrifying enough, it wasn't...

The Los Angeles Galaxy Was Extremely Happy To Visit The White House
There's a lot going in this photo, taken today during the LA Galaxy's obligatory champion's visit to the White House. (Well, not everyone finds it necessary.) As usual, Obama looks happier than anyone else, although a beaming Bruce Arena seems up to the challenge....

Porn Star Stoya Watches A Stripper Fight For Us: "Wrestling Is More Entertaining With Sparkly Garments"
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "STRIPPER FIGHT = ASS." Tonight's commentator: Stoya, aka "International Porn Superstar Stoya(tm)." And, "Incendiary, Quixotic, Sassy" Fleshlighteer. Not to mention a w...

Bob Davidson's Ejection Of Charlie Manuel Today Featured More F-Bombs Than A Tarantino Film
Umpire Bob Davidson added insult to injury for the Phillies today when, after obstructing catcher Brian Schneider's attempts to retrieve a dropped third strike from hurler Cliff Lee, he ejected Philadelphia manager Charlie Manuel—leading to a fierce, "fuck"-filled argument in the eighth inning of t...

David Brooks Has A New Phony Sociological Category: "ESPN Man"
Someone help me out. Here's David Brooks, the upmarket Jeff Foxworthy, writing about "The ESPN Man" in today's New York Times:...

Boston's Game Two Loss Left This Celtics Fan Looking For Something To Lick
The Sixers downed the Celtics 82-81 last night to even their Eastern Conference semifinal series at one-all, a result that got this Bostonian so hot and bothered he was reduced to panting....

Canadian Lacrosse Brawl Is Best Lacrosse Brawl
An emailer tells us we're looking at the Intermediate A teams (so, 16-to-18-year-olds) of the Coquitlam Adanacs and Nanaimo Timbermen fighting it out at a game on Saturday. We love it, and not just because it features so many punchable faces getting punched. Presumably lacrosse has penalties for l...

MLB Fires Arbitrator Shyam Das, Days After A Second Player Successfully Uses The Ryan Braun Defense
Shyam Das is no longer the most powerful man in baseball. As the permanent, independent arbitrator on baseball's three-man panel that also includes reps from MLB and the players' union, Das has almost always been the swing vote in any matter reaching his desk. He's been in place since 1999, with the...

The Capitals Are A Team Without A Coach Or A Plan
Dale Hunter will not return as coach of the Washington Capitals, it was announced just two days after the Caps lost a Game 7 in the Eastern Conference semifinals. It's a shock to just about everyone but the Capitals. As GM George McPhee said, "It wasn't unexpected." ...

David Stern Doesn't Really Give A Shit About Flopping
The short answer is, there's no short answer to flopping. It's nearly impossible to legislate intent, except in the most egregious of cases. Soccer has long failed to address even the glaring dives, and the NHL's embellishment penalties are often more controversial than the plays that don't get whis...