da Page 961 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Come Watch Football With Us Monday Night Before Mike Vick's Nude Prison Photo Scandal Ruins Everything
Or some black guy in a hat who vaguely resembles Mike Vick. Nude Mike Vick or not, it'll still be a splendid night to hang out at our new locale, the Bleecker Street bar, and watch The Dream Team battle the Chicago Bears....
Former Paterno Assistant Indicted On Charges Of "Involuntary Deviate Sexual Intercourse," Among Other Things
A "Penn State coaching legend" once considered the successor to Joe Paterno was indicted today by a grand jury on some very nasty sex abuse charges. Two years ago, Jerry Sandusky, the former defensive coordinator for the Nittany Lions, was accused of "inappropriate contact" with a teenage boy. The e...
Michael Jordan The Player Would've Hated Michael Jordan The Hardline Owner
Over at SB Nation, Tom Ziller has compiled some of Michael Jordan's contradictory views on the NBA lockout. In a meeting during the '98 lockout, for example, Jordan the player told Wizards owner Abe Pollin, "If you can't make it work economically, you should sell the team." Ziller points out that in...
Rex Ryan To Appear As Patriots Fan In Adam Sandler Movie Also Starring Vanilla Ice, Susan Sarandon
Rex Ryan will have a cameo in an Adam Sandler movie due out in 2012 called I Hate You, Dad. He'll play a Boston-area lawyer and a passionate Patriots fan, which is funny, because Rex Ryan wants to be the head coach of the Patriots actually hates the Patriots....
Cow Costume-Clad Character Continues Clowning Around College GameDay, Also There's Pot & Rape Jokes
Crowds outside Bryant-Denny Stadium in Tuscaloosa have been growing since ESPN set up its College GameDay camp early in preparation of Saturday night's matchup between #1 LSU and #2 Alabama. As the masses surrounding the set have swelled, they've also grown sillier and in some cases stupider. Our C...
Everyone Who Leaves The Red Sox Talks Shit On The Way Out
The 2011 Red Sox are an earth continually salted, a shitpot continually stirred. And every refugee—especially if disgruntled—has a story to tell. Today's storyteller is former strength and conditioning coach Dave Page, who was fired this week....
This Is Why You Don't Ask A Professional Athlete To Be A School "Reading Champion"
I absolutely cannot think of a better inspiration for getting schoolchildren to read than by choosing a man who got very rich without ever having read a book in his life....
Low-Budget Pitbull Imitator Produces Nauseating "Do The Mark Sanchez" Video
There aren't too many lyrics here, other than "do the Mark Sanchez," and "heart of a champion," so it's hard to dispute their words with statistical evidence. (Of note: the call-and-response here is "Who's number one?" "We number one!" But "we" could really be the Jets or the performers.) Mark San...
Even Criminal Lobbyist Jack Abramoff Lectured Dan Snyder About The Redskins Name, Likening It To "The New York Jew Boys"
Scumbag lobbyist and George Bush leg-humper Jack Abramoff has a self-serving book out called Capital Punishment: The Hard Truth About Washington Corruption From America's Most Notorious Lobbyist. In the book, which you should not buy, Abramoff details his relationship with Dan Snyder, whom Abramoff ...
ShortCenter: LSU-Alabama, Endlessly
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
ESPN's College GameDay Is Starting Early In Tuscaloosa—And So Are The Students
College GameDay has made the rare trip to the location of a non-ESPN television game, though it would be ridiculous for them to be anywhere but Tuscaloosa for Saturday night's match between #1 LSU and #2 Alabama (on CBS). The game's drawn such national attention that the GameDay crew made the trip ...
Mark Cuban's "Fuck You" Legal Brief Gives Him The Win In Ross Perot Jr. Lawsuit
Back in June we brought you the story of Mavericks minority owner Ross Perot Jr.'s lawsuit against Mark Cuban, accusing Cubes of "mismanaging" the team. Cuban's legal team response was simple yet elegant: a photo of the Mavericks celebrating their NBA title....
Sports Anchor Wins $2 Million Lottery Live On Air, Can't Help Making "Luongo Is Overpaid" Joke
Global BC sports anchor Barry Deley was actually out shopping when his name came up in a live lotto drawing, winning either a house or $2 million in cash. His unbelieving and slightly jealous colleagues call him with the news, and Deley reacts with typical Canadian poise and dry humor. The fun beg...
ShortCenter: The Things They Say About Quarterbacks
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
Back-to-back wins over undefeated 1A 6 Man 1 Region III District 9 (6 Man) teams were not meant to be for the mighty Knox City Greyhounds who suffered a 72-50 loss to the mightier Throckmorton Greyhounds. This, after Chad emerged from the tunnel at a pep rally to Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like A Lad...
Nebraska Volleyball Player/Coach's Daughter With Suspended License Hits Two Motorcyclists, Takes Off
Per the Omaha World-Herald, a witness reported that University of Nebraska Husker volleyball star "Lauren Cook's expression left no doubt she knew she had struck two people on a motorcycle in north Lincoln before fleeing the scene."...
(NSFW) Remembering Humphries-Kardashian: A Video Tribute To An American Romance
We did this after Kim split with Reggie Bush, so it's the least we could do for sad-sack power forward Kris Humphries, who seems hellbent for humiliation by the Kardashian media machine until he signs the damn divorce papers. I mean, seriously: when Mr. and Mrs.Humphries show up on TMZ to beg Kim ...
And You Didn't Think It Was Possible To Score A Header From 63 Yards Out
Ryujiro Ueda, a defender for J-League team Fagiano Okayama, enters the record books with the longest header goal in soccer (or at least YouTube) history. He owes at least a share of the record to the goalkeeper, who supplies the kinetic energy and misplays the ball perfectly. [Daily Mail]...
This Is How David Freese's Game 6 Walk-Off Home Run Sounded In British
We added BBC Radio's call to the video of David Freese's 11th-inning walk-off home run in Game 6 of the World Series. It's no paternal tribute, but it sure is British!...