da Page 961 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rob Ryan Would Like To Show You His Beat-Up Old Conversion Van
Rob Ryan is awfully proud of his "vehicle of choice," which, truth be told, looks pretty much like you'd expect it to look. The Dallas Cowboys really did post the video you see above on their website. At one point, Ryan says, "It's got a few, uh, stains in there, probably." Which is pretty much what...
Summer Is The Goddamn Worst
May has started, which means that we're quickly running out of May and I don't want May to end because that means summer is here and OH FUCK GOD PLEASE NOT AGAIN....
Vernon And Vontae Davis's Younger Brother Charged With Murdering A Man With A Claw Hammer
According to various reports out of Washington, D.C., police in the nation's capital have filed first-degree murder charges against Michael W. Davis, 19, in connection with the April 24 death of a Denver tourist....
Bruce Bochy Just Can't Bear To Watch Anymore
These are down days in The City, with Pablo Sandoval out for weeks after hand surgery, Willie Mota busted for drugs, and a defense that's let down every pitcher on the staff....
Tim Burton Bottoms Out. <em>Dark Shadows</em>, Reviewed.
1. How was there ever a time that we considered Tim Burton weird? He certainly isn't weird now—give this guy a slight haircut and he's essentially an insurance salesman—but in retrospect, knowing the bloated, self-satisfied cookie-cutter hack Burton turned out to be makes one wonder what all the exc...
A Brazilian Player Protested His Yellow Card By Doing The Moonwalk
Here's something totally normal from Brazil's Série A. Sport Recife defender Tobi gets booked during the first leg of the Campeonato Pernambucano final (a regional championship) and, when asked by the referee to turn around so the ref can see his number, performs the moonwalk. While American audie...
Despite Hitting Four Home Runs, Josh Hamilton Could Not Secure A Majority Of The Player Of The Game Vote
In you were in the mood to have your head explode this morning, here you go. (Obviously this is the poll taken on the Baltimore MASN broadcast, which may be a measure of the grasp Orioles fans have on reality, or at least Orioles fans who possess cell phones.)...
What This Street Fight Between A Cross-Dressing Hooker And A John Can Teach You About Life
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "ANGRY TRANNY BEATS UP GUY WHO WON'T PAY - MELBOURNE" (with an accompanying news report). Tonight's commentator: Butch Cordora, a fabulous artist/photographer/televisio...
Now Prosecutors In The Jerry Sandusky Case Have Inadvertently Released The Names Of The Alleged Victims
From Sara Ganim's latest for the Patriot-News of Harrisburg:...
Key Witness In Jerry Sandusky Case Is Worst Witness Ever
Mike McQueary is creating quite a shitshow. McQueary, a former Penn State assistant football coach, provided the testimony that led to perjury charges against two university officials, which, in turn led to the firing of Joe Paterno. Last November, less than two weeks after the grand jury issued its...
Yu Darvish Is A Flamethrower On The Mound, Needs To Light A Match In The Dugout
Texas barbecued Baltimore last night 14-3, but it was Japanese pitching phenom Yu Darvish who appears to have smoked out the dugout with some nasty flatulence....
Adam Jones Reaches For Home Run, Gets Glove Stuck In Wall
Brandon Snyder's three-run homer in the sixth helped the Rangers blow open last night's 11-run win against the Orioles. Adam Jones had no chance to keep the ball in the park, but he certainly tried his best. The wall at Camden Yards, however, had much less appreciation for his effort....
Nick Young's Shirt Is Proof The Mayans Were Right About 2012
The Clippers' Nick Young entered Staples Center last night clad in what appears to be a fortune teller's tablecloth turned into a shirt, except there wasn't enough fabric and they had to patch in some denim....
RIP Adam Yauch, Indie Film Hero
In January, Bingham Ray died. A lot of moviegoers probably wouldn't have recognized his name, but if they loved independent film in the 1990s, they knew his work. The co-founder of October Films, Ray had helped distribute movies by Mike Leigh (Life Is Sweet, Secrets & Lies, Topsy-Turvy), Lars von Tr...
55-Year-Old Grandmother Tries Out For The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders
Back in February, Sharon Simmons, a 55-year-old grandmother of two from Carrollton, Texas, announced she would be trying out to become a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. She's spent the last months training, working on routines with a professional dance coach. On Saturday, she joined hundreds of other wo...
Chris Davis Is A Better Closer Than Heath Bell
On Saturday, after Marlins closer Heath Bell had blown his fourth save of the season on Friday night, Ozzie Guillen demoted him to a setup role....
Editor's Note: Jonny Gomes Is Awesome
Over the weekend, our own Sean Newell asked if Jonny Gomes, the Oakland A's outfielder and designated Rob Deer, was "the biggest douchebag in baseball." Gomes's apparent crime was admiring a go-ahead home run. Here are some things to know about Jonny Gomes: He was occasionally homeless as a kid. He ...
"Here's Our Resident Nerd, Picking His Nose"
The backlash against advanced statistics in baseball by so-called "purists" can get tiresome, but there's no denying a few of the stereotypes about those dealing in the numbers game sometimes hold true. Here's a shot of Astros Director of Decision Sciences (seriously, that's his job title) Sig Mejd...
Your Sunday Open Thread Smorgasbord
Baseball and the NBA playoffs start at 1:00 p.m. The Bulls and Sixers start the action at 1 on ABC and the Knicks and Heat follow up at 3:30 p.m. By then, the Kings and Blues will be underway in a potentially decisive game 4. Both leagues continue into the evening with the Hawks and Celtics at 7:00...
Is Jonny Gomes The Biggest Douchebag In Baseball?
The scene: May 5, 2012. The 13-14 Oakland Athletics and the 19-8 Tampa Bay Rays are all tied up in the 10th 12th inning in Tampa when Jonny Gomes steps to the plate. Gomes would give the Athletics the lead when he hit a baseball the smallest distance possible for a ball to be hit and still be consi...