da Page 994 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Phillies Infielder Throws 10-Pitch 19th Inning To Close Out Joey Votto And The Reds
Your morning roundup for May 26, the day after Disney realized that it probably wasn't the best of ideas to trademark American heroes for profit....

The Boom Goes The Dynamite Guy Tries His Hand At Intentional Comedy
This post is, of course, half public apology to the friends of Deadspin I may have offended last week, when I did not really know who Daniel Tosh was and, accordingly, did not give him due respect when Manny Pacquiao punched him in the face....

Shawn Marion Is Inexplicably Making A Reality Show Pilot
"The Matrix" must have let his nickname go to his head. Because he's filming a reality show that no soul could possibly want to see....

The Kim Kardashian Effect: Advanced Stats Show Why Kris Humphries Put A Ring On It
Nets forward Kris Humphries put up great numbers in the seventh season of his NBA career, his first as Kim Kardashian's beau. The couple announced their engagement (with a disturbing description of an "intimate family celebration" involving horses), and while there are no shortage of possible motive...

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part IV: Cooke And Bligle Jim Escape To The Potomac
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit chokes on a crab puff at a cocktail party. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna CX.")...

Incredible Video Of A Tornado Chasing A Storm Chaser
David Payne of KFOR in Oklahoma City has been driving towards tornadoes for the better part of two decades. But last night, one changed direction and came down right on top of him....

David Beckham Secures A Post-Soccer Future In Field Security With This Fan Takedown
English soccer clubs sometimes play "testimonials," in which they bring back their older stars for a friendly match of former rivals. Like parades or bowling parties, it's a nice way to make the old folk feel appreciated for still being around. Yesterday, with Man United playing Juventus in the Ga...

The NBA Will Not Bother Waiting Until Season's End To Have Its Ugly Labor Battle
David Stern is a brisk, exacting businessman. He's always ahead of the curve in sports management. So neither he nor the NBA Players' Association really wants to wait for the CBA to expire (or for the playoffs to end) to have their inevitable lockout and legal pissing match....

A Photo Of Dirk Nowitzki Astride Mark Cuban, Both Men Enjoying Themselves Immensely
This photo was taken circa 2001 by Sports Illustrated, a year after Mark Cuban bought the Mavericks and began reaching for the brass ring. Those were happy days. Magnolia flowers impregnated the Texas air with sweet perfume. Children gamboled by the Trinity River. And these cowboys loved each other....

We Are All Dave McKenna CIX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit finds its way into the wood chipper....

After Poker Seizures, Justice Department Comes For Online Sportsbooks
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad Beats....

Admiring Novak Djokovic's Last 40 Match Points
Novak Djokovic has won 38 straight tennis matches in the 2011 season, and he hasn't lost in 40 outings, dating back to November's Davis Cup. His dominance has been nearly absolute; in seven months, he's dropped just eight sets, and that includes seven wins against either Rafael Nadal or Roger Fede...

An In-Depth Examination Of Dad Strength
I was driving to a Metro stop yesterday when I saw a car up ahead that was about to merge into traffic from bus stop lane. And sometimes, you can tell well in advance that the driver about to merge into traffic is a fucking idiot who won't bother looking to see if another car is there. You get that ...

Everyone Hates Everyone In Baseball
The Reds' ace called out the hitters. Fred Wilpon talked shit about everyone. And now Brian Fuentes is talking shit about manager Bob Geren to the media....

Ja'Juan Story Sincerely Regrets Telling Everyone His Doodoo Story
Last week, we brought you the charming story of Florida football recruit Ja'Juan Story, who abandoned all interview protocol and told Gator Country that he prepares for games by "taking a doodoo" and listening to Katy Perry songs. Today, we're sorry to report that he has reneged on his claims, and w...

We Are All Dave McKenna CVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit self-immolates in shame....

A Rigorous Taxonomy And Analysis Of Lucky Charms From The 2011 NBA Draft Lottery
The darling of the NBA draft lottery last week was a sickly imp in a bowtie. The year before that it was a sorrowful widow in pearls. How did this come to pass? You can thank superstition (although not me for bringing you this post a week late). Sadly, too many NBA teams and executives still ignore ...

We Are All Dave McKenna CVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit succumbs to the evils of which Ray Lewis has foretold....

Young MMA "Beast" Stops Old MMA "Beast" From Winning 100th Match
Here, Dan "The Beast" Severn tries to match Bernard Hopkins's old-guy-can-do spirit. Here, in an attempt to earn his 100th victory at the DCU Center in Worcester, Mass., the 52-year-old Severn fails to do so....

We Are All Dave McKenna CVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is forced to publicly apologize to every last person it has wronged in the name of ego gloryholeification....