Me And My Boy Snuck Into The Greatest Football Game Ever Played
Sunday night’s Gonzaga-DeMatha matchup for DC’s Catholic league title was, objectively speaking, the greatest event in…
The Time Dave McKenna Converted His Son From Katy Perry To Minor Threat
Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird…
Every Parent Has A Road Trip From Hell. Here's Mine.
I never threaten to turn the car around. That’s a cliché and an empty threat, but more important it offends my…
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: Transformers Prime
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV…
Never Take Your Kids To A Championship Parade
I was not born or raised in the D.C. area but all of my children were, and so I felt it was my solemn duty as a Good…
Why Your Children's Television Program
Sucks: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV…
23 Things I Say To My Kids Every Goddamn Spring Break
I am a dad at all times but Spring Break is when I am, without fail, at my MOST dad. It combines all the prime elements…
Use Some Goddamn Headphones
Here is a take for you: Wear some goddamn headphones when you watch a video in public.
The Actual Night Before Christmas
‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house…
Not a damn thing was ready.
Fuck Sports Bottles
I thought I was done. My kids were no longer babies, which meant no more formula, which meant no more time laboring at…
Finish Your Food Before You Serve It
It’s the smallest thing, really. Maybe you already do it! But maybe you do not already do it, and you have wondered why…
Dig A Hole At The Beach
I’ve been taking my kids to the beach for years now and in that time we have brought along any number of cumbersome,…
Neighbors Are Hell
When I was a young kid we knew all the names of pretty much everybody in our whole little neighborhood. The kids were…
The Nine Scariest-Ass Things About Owning A House
I own a house and the thing about home ownership is that it is a lifetime project. At any given moment, there is…
Children And Sunscreen: A Guide To Summer Hell
Every year I look forward to summer before remembering that summer is, in fact, hell. There are bugs. There is…
A Q&A With Tony Reali About Postpartum Depression And Anxiety In Dads
Tony Reali, the host of ESPN’s Around the Horn, always wanted to be a dad: “I wanted a whole team of kids. I’ve said…
LeBron Tells LaVar Ball To Fall Back
One of the many outlandish claims that Lonzo Ball’s dad LaVar made on his recent press tour to proclaim the supreme…
Education Secretary DeVos: [Sound Of Me Spitting Out Coffee, Falling Out Of Chair]
Historically black colleges and universities (HBCUs) are “real pioneers when it comes to school choice,” according to a…
What's The View Like From Your Window?
It’s Friday afternoon. That’s the big window in the living room of the forest cabin that my family and I moved into a…
What It’s Like To
Watch Your Kid Lose
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy…