dadspin Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Do Not Post Naked Pictures Of Your Toddler On Facebook
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How To Survive A Long Car Trip With Your Kids
It’s that time of year. Time to visit those weird, faraway relatives in weird, faraway places, where the Target and the Costco and the Whole Foods are all switched around. It’s time to roll down hundreds of miles of dear old Ike’s eight-lane American dream, leaving one suburban hellscape for another...
The Xbox One Is Garbage And The Future Is Bullshit
Here is an embarrassing story about a bad purchase....
Mark Davis Travels 500 Fucking Miles To Look Like That!
Probably no haircut in human history has communicated as devastating a summation of its owner’s entire life as the insane orange Moe Howard bowl cut sported by Oakland Raiders owner Mark Davis. Carve the shape of it into the wall of his father Al Davis’s mausoleum and it will tell a richer and truer...
How To Take Your Kids Backpacking
I am unable to take a vacation. I go on vacations, but the idea of just sitting around doing nothing is pure torture. On our honeymoon, I made my new bride go on a canoe trip, which ended poorly when I paddled her directly into a scraggly bush overhanging the riverbank. Our first fight as a married ...
Fuck Winning
I do not think that the world is in any danger of running out of people who believe winning is the only thing worth feeling good about. I think the world has absorbed Vince Lombardi’s deranged ethic quite well....
My Dad Was The Maxell "Blown Away Guy," Even If I Can't Prove It
When I was little, I was convinced my dad was the Blown Away Guy. I was sure that was my dad’s martini swept up in the audio tempest, my dad’s tie thrashing behind him. The lush-haired guy in that ’80s-dominating ad for Maxell cassettes getting blasted by the music blasting from a pair of JBL speake...
The Best And Worst Of Dr. Seuss
I read a lot of children’s books. Some are terrible, many are decent, and a few are truly wonderful. Most authors don’t have the staying power to slot multiple entries in all three categories while achieving worldwide fame and fortune; in fact, Dr. Seuss is the only one that comes to mind....
Here Are 14 Things You Will Say To Your Kids A Million Goddamn Times
I have three kids. They don’t fucking listen. One day, God as my witness, they will listen. They will stop, turn around, not talk for five seconds, and say to me, “Wow, I never thought of it that way before. Thanks, Dad!” I swear it will happen. I will destroy entire countries if I have to make it s...
My Dad's Terrible Child-Care Activities, Ranked
School is out. What the hell are we going to do with these kids? Camps cost a fortune. Sports leagues are a pain in the ass. And who wants to stare at another listless, self-aware gorilla at the zoo? What a downer!...
Children’s Ages, Ranked
I think it’s about time we started previewing some shitty NFL teams, no? That’s right: The WHY YOUR TEAM SUCKS series boots up again this month, which is good, because these teams are suckier than ever. If you wanna send in a rant about why your team sucks (emphasis on YOUR team … don’t send me some...
Oh God, What Is Croup, Does My Kid Have It, Oh God Oh God Oh God
Parenting a small child means, of course, doubling the number of people whose well being is your responsibility. This can be difficult, for a Wearer Of A Garbage Bag Because You Forgot To Buy Laundry Soap For The 27th Consecutive Week—for someone who has arrived, mostly by accident, deep in the swam...
Father's Day Gifts, Ranked
Hey, Father’s Day is on Sunday! Wait, you are saying, suddenly even more sweaty, confused, and anachronistic than usual—aren’t we in April? Aren’t we in April of 2013? No, we are not in April of 2013. We are in June of ... [fumbles with phone for five embarrassing minutes] oh, wow, 2015! that’s bana...
Raising Your Kids To Be Cleveland Sports Fans Is An Act Of Cruelty
Last night, I knew how it was going to end before Game 6 even began. I’m from northeast Ohio....
Cleancast: I'd Rather Walk Through Fire Than Step On A Lego
My guest this week on the official Ask a Clean Person podcast is Blair Koenig, the writer and humorist behind the blog STFU, Parents and author of the book STFU, Parents: The Jaw-Dropping, Self-Indulgent, and Occasionally Rage-Inducing World of Parent Overshare. She joined me to talk all about paren...
Ayesha Curry On Parenting A Viral Sports Baby: Let Her Live
Riley Curry, who remains the top sports baby in the game, has now stolen the show at multiple NBA postgame press conferences, up on the podium addressing her fans and upstaging her MVP father, Steph, much to the chagrin of some dumb idiot heartless man-babies and the delight of other (i.e., normal a...
Suburban Northern Virginians' 46 Worst Fears
Yesterday, a New York City man accidentally dropped his keys through a sidewalk subway grate, then fell to the bottom of the shaft when he tried to retrieve them, thus experiencing in short order at least two common fears of city life. In response, The Awl and Gothamist compiled lists of every New Y...
Stay-At-Home Dads Of The World, Unite!
We are a vast, disconnected, sleep-deprived sleeper cell. We are everywhere you look, hiding in plain sight, picking out the just-ripe mangoes at the grocery store or pushing our swinging kids at the playground. We kiss boo-boos, braid hair, and fix the kitchen faucet. Call us Mr. Moms, stay-at-home...
A Semi-Competent Father's Guide To Volunteering At Your Kid's School
One of the best parts of being a dad in public is the generalized expectation that you are basically a greased-up Kevin James playing banana-cream-pie Jenga with the Queen Mum. Remember those early solo outings with your baby and the generously low bar that you were held to? Doors held open, the faw...
April Fool’s Day, As Orchestrated By My 9-Year-Old
1. I wake up and walk downstairs....