dallas Page 97 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Go Toward The Light, Emmitt
You thought that finishing his career flat on the turf of Sun Devil Stadium was the most embarassing final image of all-time rushing champ Emmitt Smith one could come up with....
Oxnard Must Be An Entertaining Camp
Few athletes give us more joy, in a "Jeez, look how far this idiot has fallen" type of way, than former Eagles dope Freddie Mitchell. Last time we checked in with him, he was considering offers from Jon Bon Jovi's team in the Arena League....
Buyer Beware ... And Beware Again ... And Beware Again
In a classic Oh, Now You Tell Us moment, Philadelphia owner Jeffrey Lurie has suddenly realized that, aw, jeez, maybe it wasn't actually the best of ideas to bring in wide receiver Terrell Owens....
Emmitt Smith Encourages You To Keep Looking At Him
We didn't actually watch it, and we don't have video or anything, but apparently the Miss Universe contest was on NBC last night. The only real interesting thing about beauty contests — other than, "Will one of them fall down? Please?" — is the celebrity judges, and last night's battle had some do...
Cowboys Safety Keith Davis Shot
Dallas Cowboys safety Keith Davis is recovering from two gunshot wounds sustained last night during a drive-by shooting on a Dallas highway. His condition is listed as stable, and despite being shot in the head and in the thigh, his injuries aren't considering life-threatening....
Do Not Date Flozell Adams, Girls
A Web site we hadn't heard of before called Don't Date Him, Girl purports to list the names and descriptions of guys that girls should, you know, not date, girl. Web sites like this make us nervous, so after we searched for our own name and the names of almost all our friends, we were pointed to t...
Dirk To Cuban: Pipe Down, Sparky
Dirk Nowitzki is taking his leadership role on the Dallas Mavericks seriously. He's not calling out another player, he's not even calling out a coach. He's got issues with team owner Mark Cuban. From an article in the Dallas Morning News, here's Dirk on Cuban's courtside behavior:...
Dan Fouts, Unplugged!
In honor of Bill Simmons' and ESPN's discovery of YouTube today — and our cameo appearance — we thought we'd dig up a fun old YouTube of Verne Lundquist and Dan Fouts, on CBS, killing some time before the start of a Cowboys game. We love the facial expressions Fouts makes into the camera here. We th...
Mark Cuban's Relaxation Techniques
Our affection for Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is well-documented, and we certainly don't mean to pile on during what's assuredly a difficult day for him. But nevertheless, we wouldn't be doing our job if we didn't show off these photos sent to us this morning, supposedly taken last Friday nigh...
The Faces Of Champions
That's right, folks, the wait is over: Antoine Walker, Shandon Anderson and Michael Doleac are finally champions....
Heat Win First-Ever Title, And Even Cuban's Classy About It
Even though their apparently show their loyalty by dressing up like Klan members — even when they're not actually at the arena in which the games are being played, like in this picture — and even though they don't have an owner whose brain is always on the verge of a noisy (and always smart and en...
And Without Any Further Blowups ... Game 6
Difficult to add much more to everything else that's out there: It's Game 6, the Heat are a game away from winning the NBA Title, Mark Cuban is $250,000 lighter and downright dog-nutty, Dwyane Wade getting his legend on and the referrees looking over their shoulders, making sure no one's got a shi...
Is Mark Cuban Going Insane?
We feel we have to legitimately ask: Is Mark Cuban losing his mind?...
Howard's Boner (Or, Why Refs Are A Natural Male Enhancement)
Another reason that it would have been more fun to live in the early 1900s rather than now — also on the list: speakeasies, jalopies, no Internet — is the fact that they used the word "boner" to describe embarrassing mental missteps. We wish this were still true today; we'd have Buckner's boner, W...
Heat/Mavs Game Five: The Lack Of Stack
Game Five of the NBA Finals will serve as your capper to an excellent sports weekend. And there's certainly no lack of intrigue for tonight's game. The Heat have all the momentum. The Mavs can't stop Dwyane Wade and his myriad of injuries and ailments. Dirk Nowitzki has gone into hiding. Avery Joh...
Jerry Stackhouse And Common Sense Have Been Suspended
Jerry Stackhouse was found to be in violation of the NBA's strict "Do Not Touch Shaquille O'Neal" policy yesterday, as the league announced that it was suspending him for Game 5 of the NBA Finals. Stackhouse committed a hard foul on Shaq as the big man was driving for a lay-up. Have a look:...
And Here Come The Heat
As True Hoop pointed out this morning, this guy must feel like a complete idiot right now....
Hey, Remember These Guys?
Not to remain so firmly ensconced on the jock of Free Darko, but we're completely fascinated with their McSweeney's column today. Namely: Has anybody noticed that Antoine Walker and Jason Williams are playing in this series? Obviously, Dirk and Shaq and Wade and Cuban are the headliners of the ser...
Did The Heat Really Make This A Series?
After staying up too late watching basketball, we woke up this morning ready to survey the NBA world's presumed newfound excitement over the NBA Finals, which showed some signs of life last evening. But that's not what we found....