damn Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Welcome to the toilet, home of the Columbus Blue Jackets
Give the Columbus Blue Jackets this. They don’t wait around to dive right back into the dumpster that they’ve lived in for their entire existence. No hope for whatever is left of their fanbase, no annoying stories about how things are turning around that come straight from the PR department, no leav...
Never play the Bears on a day when a team legend dies. Everyone knows this
Let me take you back to Nov. 7, 1999. ...
Mike Babcock sets a land speed record for being fired for being Mike Babcock
It has to be asked what did the Columbus Blue Jackets think they were going to get by hiring Mike Babcock? ...
The Lionel Messi train keeps rolling, and the Reds certainly don’t need pitching
It is a little annoying to keep seeing “Messi dominates MLS” headlines since his arrival because technically Lionel Messi hasn’t played an MLS match yet. The league is currently on pause for the first-ever Leagues Cup with Liga MX teams, a different competition. That doesn’t mean Messi and Inter Mia...
Say Goodbye to J. Crossover
Damn, nobody in the NBA needed a possible 15 points in 12 minutes waiting on their bench for the playoffs?...
I just want to watch Keith Lee throw people out the building all the time
When you boil down what people love about AEW so much (and Tony Khan’s running of it), it’s that the company and he usually just do the simplest thing. Just give the people what they want. It sounds like it should be obvious, but there are a lot of ways to overthink it....
Remember Ray Fosse for the good man, catcher and broadcaster he was
A word on the passing of A’s broadcaster Ray Fosse, who died from cancer last night....
Euro 2021: Can Poland rise to meet Robert Lewandowski?
No. What’re you, new? No one rises to the level of Robert Lewandowski. It’s Robert Goddamn Lewandowski. Dude just scored 40 goals in one league season, which is utterly insane. That’s after he scored 34 last year. Seventy-four motherfucking goals in two seasons in just the Bundesliga. That’s four se...
Signing Andy Goddamn Dalton is the most Bears move ever
Fuck my entire life....
Fulham Return To Premier League With a Goal From Narnia
The Championship Playoff Final is often labeled “The Richest Match In The World.” Because it is. The winner gets promoted to the Premier League, and along with it the aircraft carrier of TV money, increased ticket prices, uptick in merchandise, and everything else. It is estimated that winning the g...
The Great Wonder Of The NFL Is Ben Roethlisberger's Dreadfully Large Head
The Steelers got their asses kicked in by the Patriots last night, and you only need to take one look at Ben Roethlisberger’s big dumb head to understand just how poorly the game went for his team....
Fuck The Swear Police
Today, we’re talking about remakes, pelicans, the drug store, assholes by position, and more....
Tennis Player Cramps, Pukes, Perseveres, Cramps Again, Withdraws Due To All Of The Above
Alex Lebedev, a successful college tennis player at Notre Dame, is now working his way into the pro ranks by competing in ITF and ATP Challenger events. This week the 22-year-old was attempting to qualify for the Challenger in Lexington, Kentucky, which broiled at a high of 89 degrees on Monday. It ...
Pete Alonso's Charming "English Muffin" Quote, Like Most Precious Things In Life, Was A Sham
Before Mets slugger Pete Alonso participated in the Home Run Derby during the all-star break, he earned a little moment with this seemingly off-the-cuff quip: “It doesn’t matter how much jelly you have in the jar, it’s about how you spread it on your English muffin.” That’s funny. Well, guess what? ...
Un-Fucking-Real
He was finished. He was disgraced, hobbled, and eaten alive by the ravages of both fame and time. His story was over; it was simply a matter how clumsily it would end and how long it would take for that end to finally arrive....
Jordan Hicks Threw The Season's Two Fastest Pitches
Reliever Jordan Hicks, who plays for some crummy team, threw record-setting gas Tuesday night against White Sox shortstop Tim Anderson. Five of the six pitches in that plate appearance were above 101 mph, and the pitch at the top of this post came in at 102.0 mph, the fastest this season. Anderson c...
The Name Of Tristan Thompson And Khloé Kardashian's Daughter Is A Synonym For "Genuine"
Khloé Kardashian has revealed the name of her and Tristan Thompson’s newborn daughter: True. It’s true, her name is True. True Thompson....
Look At This Stupid Baby<em></em>
Here we have President Diaper, a fussy young infant who rarely sleeps through the night uninterrupted—and is known to be quite a handful during the daytime as well!—forced to listen for an agonizing 58 seconds as the governor of Washington state explains why arming teachers is a bad idea....
HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT REALLY HAPPENED<em></em>
I scared the shit out of my kids. They had already been subjected to three hours of me clapping and yelling and screaming at the TV, bearing witness to an utterly deranged side of their father that they almost certainly would have preferred to never learn about. I sat. I stood. I paced. No position ...