dc Page 297 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Meet The Next Generation Of C-Team NFL Broadcasters
Have you ever watched a sixth-string announcing team stumble their way through another awful NFL game,and think, "Do they have some kind of assembly line that churns out these lousy ex-football player analysts?" Well, guess what? They do!...

Jim Brown: All-American, Gaylord
Your Deadcast guest this week is Hall of Famer Jim Brown (listen here). And holy shit, is that man intimidating. Except when talking about rollerskating around Venice Beach....

LeBron, Meet Your New Teammate: Shaquille O'Neal
The Cavaliers and Suns have reached a deal in principle to send Shaquille O'Neal to the Land of LeBron, Yahoo! Sports reports. Ben Wallace, Sasha Pavlovic and a pick to Phoenix. No confirmation from @THE_REAL_SHAQ yet. [Yahoo!, Twitter]...

The Tiny Plastic Horn That Will Ruin The World Cup
If you've watched the Confederations Cup, you have no doubt been annoyed by the mysterious buzzing sound that drowns out even the TV announcers. Well, get used to it, because that sound will haunt you throughout next year's World Cup....

John Edward Brady Will Soon Have Better Looking Half-Brother Or Half-Sister To Resent
So says the nosy gossips at the Boston Herald who heard through an anonymous friend via Life & Style, that Gisele was successfully inseminated during the couple's honeymoon. Or she's just bloated. [Shutdown Corner]...

It’s Family Hour With A Kinder, Gentler Buzz Bissinger (UPDATE)
Your Deadcast guest this week is Pulitzer Prize winner, author, and noted horsefucker Buzz Bissinger, and he's still got some f-bombs in his pocket. He was Artie Lange before Artie Lange was Artie Lange, you know....

How Do Iranian Soccer Players Protest? Very Carefully
Iran's soccer team may have found it difficult to concentrate on their World Cup qualifying match in South Korea today, since their country is, you know, engulfed in the cleansing flames of democratic awakening....

Golf Coverage Is A Little Too Reverential For Boomer
Chris Berman, on his detractors: "Constructive criticism is great, but to say I have an act would be missing the point. You're never going to please everyone anyway." So he's got that goin' for him, which is nice. [Watchdog]...

Well, At Least He'll Be Able To Tell People He Was Coach Of The Year...
Mike Brown, the Cleveland Cavaliers dapper head coach, may have spent his last season with Lebron James. Again, blame this on Joe Posnanski. [ProBasketballNews]...

Brad Childress Is Full Of Crap
Brad Childress came out of hiding today to complain about all those unscrupulous reporters and their unnamed sources who make up lies about Brad Childress and create nothing but trouble. Trouble he could end in two seconds if he'd just pick up the phone....

Dan Le Batard Vs. Bill Simmons, Coming To Your Neighborhood PTI
This week's Deadcast guest is Dan Le Batard, who brings news that Bill Simmons will be making his guest host debut on "Pardon The Interruption" sometime this summer. Get that Larry Bird head-on-a-stick ready....

Ha Ha ... Tom Brady Fell Out Of A Boat
World's Fanciest Human can't even row a kayak down the Charles River without needing to be rescued from knee-deep water! What's that? Still a good-looking, supermodel-having NFL quarterback? Well....at least I didn't fall out of a boat! [Boston Herald]...

Ninjas Responsible For The Death Of David Carradine?
So says Carradine's attorney, Mark Geragos, who told the NY Post there might be some foul play involved. Geragos was contacted by other media outlets about his ninja theory, but he was immediately banned from commenting any further...[DListed]...

One Unexpected Barrier When You Introduce Harlem Kids To Squash
"At first, the Harvard Club "freaked the kids out a little," said Mr. Polsky, who belongs to the club. "There were animal heads on the wall, and white people." [NYTviaTheAwlviaRambleOnRose]...

Somebody Should Greenlight Sean Payton's Brilliant Movie Immediately
Thanks to Fan IQ (via Times-Picayune), we've been alerted to the boyish Saints head coach's creative aspirations and the movie script he's shopping tentatively titled "The Xbox Kid."...

Justine Bateman Was NOT Roman Polanski’s Hot Tub Victim
This week's second Deadcast guest is actress, producer, and avid tumblr, uh, er, Justine Bateman....

Joe Montana Single-Handedly Keeping The Collectible Card Market Alive
A "pristine" Joe Montana rookie card sold at auction for a record $65,000. Of course, if you knew what the guy who bought it had to do to earn that money, you wouldn't call it pristine. [Beckett Blog]...

Joe Posnanski: “I Am The Worst Thing To Come Out Of Cleveland Since Arsenio Hall”
You Cleveland fans are hurt. Angry. Confused. Annoyed. You need someone to blame for your loss. Well, will a coerced apology from Joe Posnanski do? I think it will....

We Were All Witnesses
"Well, that guy is not in the league anymore. The other 2-3 is now on the good side now. That other 2-3 is gone, so we don't have to worry about that no more." [LeBron James, after his last-second shot won Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals]...

This Time On Twitter, Calipari Apologizes
John Calipari atones for his daughter, Erin, who he says — err, tweets — got "a little over-zealous in defending her daddy's honor." Then he apologizes, presumably to Pat Forde. "We all have our jobs to do and none of them are easy," he writes. Or tweets. Whatever. [Twitter]...