dea Page 403 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

“Help! I Keep Dreaming About Banging My Mom!”
Hey, before we get to the letters, BRAD CHILDRESS WAS FIRED YESTERDAY! WOOHOO FUCK YEAH! SO LONG, CUNTGROPER! We're finally rid of you, YOU BALD ASSHOLE! Now my beloved Vikings can finally get around to drafting the wrong quarterback, losing key free agents, becoming as tightfisted as the Bills, and...

Newest Trend: Talk Show Cue Card Holders Moonlighing As College Basketball Coaches
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Matt Ryan's Either Got Skidmarks, Or It's A Heavy Flow Day
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Here's Video Of The Knockout Of The Year Getting Delivered In Atlantic City Last Night
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Soccer Mistress Is <em>Not</em> Gonna Be Ignored
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

A Watched Bridge Never Implodes
A pair of Chicago morning show anchors eagerly wait for the demolition of a bridge...and wait...and wait some more. They come back to the studio for some chit-chat, only to completely miss the destruction. They proceed to freak right the fuck out....

Please Help Us Track Down Lisa Ripi, The "Jets' Muscle" In The Favre Massage Incident
Lisa Ripi is a personal trainer/acupuncturist who works, or worked, for the New York Jets. According to sources, she oversaw the massage therapists at Jets camp in 2008. She knew about Favre's texts, we're told, and urged the therapists to do nothing....

Half-Headed Man Takes World's Most Bizarre Mugshot
There's clearly something off with this man's skull. As the profile shot reveals, it's that he's missing most of it....

“My Pussy Is Like Steel!” And Other Things You Hear During Sex
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

It's Not A Professional Sporting Event In Florida If Two Fans Aren't Punching Each Other On Camera
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

What Are You Going To Do, Charge Lindsey Vonn With Smoking?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

How To Identify Satanic Sacrifice: A Helpful, Creepy Police Training Video
This old police training video teaches up-and-coming detectives how to look for signs that their murder victim has been sacrificed to Satan. One such clue: often "a penis is placed inside the mouth of the deceased person." Good to know. [Metal Insider]...

Bay Area Denny's Serves Up Halloween Brawl
As funny as it is to see a "skeleton" get pelted with a chair, this is the third such incident we've seen at a Bay Area chain-dining establishment. It's officially a trend....

Greg Oden's Shirt Is Far More Accurate Than He Realizes
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

How To Make Your Own Four Loko
The FDA is going to ban caffeinated malt liquor beverages very soon. Gone will be Joose and gone will be our precious, disgusting Four Loko. Luckily, you will be prepared for the 21st century prohibition with this helpful video....

The Poop Mugshot Will Make You Happy
Nice to be back. Your letters:...

Wrigley Field Tarts Itself Up For Another Rich Loser
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Jon Kitna's Nipples Lead Cowboys To Second Win
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Manny Pacquiao, Cam Newton Or A Bull In Edmonton: Who Was The Biggest Winner?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Remember The Time Peyton Manning Helped Chris Hanson Catch A Predator?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....