dea Page 486 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What A Thrilling Sports Week
• You'll actually be able to watch that game tomorrow night. • Man United's fun holiday party. • Kyle Orton is dominant. • This coach is more intense than even Ron Zook. • Roger Clemens "defends" "himself." • Hockey outside? Now we've seen everything. • Bill Belichick, masochist. • Word Of The Year....

'Twas The Night Before December 22 ...
• Woody Paige's tough qualifications for the Hall of Fame. • Isiah introduces us to "sunt." • Elijah Dukes' December surprise. • Dolphins win! • The return of Lil Ronnie. • Michael Wilbon's tiny pals. • Paul LoDuca, dodger. • Scott Van Pelt, commencement speaker. • Jonathan Papelbon's dog rules. • H...

Deep Thunder Rolled Around Their Shores, Burning With The Fires Of Orc
They don't advertise for killers in the newspaper. That was our profession. Ex-cop. Ex-blade runner. Ex-killer....

It's DWOTY Votin' Time
You've marveled at the current race for the SHOTY, and thrilled to the excitement of the DHOF. But now it's time for the biggest contest of them all; and by that, I mean the smallest. Yes, it's time to vote for The Deadspin Word of the Year. After receiving sacks full of nominations, we've narrowed ...

Your Next Book Club Selection
Not that anyone will remember, considering it's the Friday before Christmas, but our Deadspin Book Club has made its next selection for its reading dissection. (Because dissection is pretty much what they did with the last one....

Elijah Dukes Might Have Some Lady Issues
Just in time for the SHOTY Quarterfinals, our old pal Elijah Dukes is at it again. The guy just can't help himself; his fingers just tap threatening text messages as if they have a mind of their own....

Pity Poor Roger Clemens
• We remind you to keep the submissions coming for the ESPN Accountability Record. • How long is 23 months in dog years? • That bitchin' ESPN holiday party. • An outstanding Jamboroo that you might have missed in all the Mitchell Report business. • Oh, yes: That. • We hate "guarantees." • Rick Reill...

We're Finished!
Are you an angry man? Are you envious? Do you get envious? We have a competition in us; we want no one else to succeed. We hate most people. There are times when we look at people and we see nothing worth liking. We've built up our hatreds over the years little by little. We see the worst in people....

Hey Kids! It's The Deadspin Crossword Puzzle!
If you know this site, then you know that we're all about puzzles. And what better way to shake off the Mitchell Report Blues than to tackle a crossword? Yes, it's the first Deadspin Crossword Puzzle, and it appears after the jump. And the great part is that you helped create it. All of those Deadsp...

Discussing "The Agony Of Victory"
We love books. Books are fun. They're so full of booky goodness. And because we don't have time to read and write about every sports book, we've corralled three regular Deadspinners to continue the Deadspin Book Club, discussions of current sports books. (Previously, they did Running The Table.) You...

Last Call For Deadspin Word Of The Year Nominations
Last week we asked for nominations for Deadspin Word of the Year, and you answered the call handsomely. From your herd of suggestions we've culled 55 entries — yes, yes, girls, "Mangino" is in there — and we'd probably like to get it to 70 or so before actual voting commences. So if you were unable ...

Listen Only To Those With Expertise
• Woo-hoo, another ESPN Memo! • Stephen A. Smith is so much more qualified than your stupid bloggers. • John Maine wore a dress, and then made it clear that he didn't. • "You Dead, Dawg," Deadwood-style. • The Football Guys. • Illinois in the Rose Bowl. Yipes. • Denny Green, copyrightin'! • Ashley Y...

Which Sports-Related Person Would Engage In A 2Girls1Cup-Type Video?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday ... well, that next five Fridays, anyway. Yes, after more than a year of goodness, Mr. Daulerio is retiring the Cultural Oddsmaker column at the beginning of 2008. There are now FIVE left. Email him to let him know how much you'll miss him....

Don't Feed Them After Midnight
Give him to us. We'll take him to the kennel, they'll put him to sleep. It will be quick and painless compared to what we would do to him. We'll catch the beast ourselves. He'll get what he deserves, a slow painful death. Maybe we'll put him in our spin-drier on high heat....

Uncovering The 19th Century Version Of 'You Dead, Dawg'
Well, this just makes me miss Deadwood all the more: It seems that raunchy language was such a problem in professional baseball in the late 1800s, that the league actually handed out a document telling players to knock it off. It lists several examples of banned expressions, which are absolutely fil...

Fun With Knicks' Math
• R.I.P., Sean Taylor. • Enough, Eli, enough. • We miss Saturday NFL too. • Pau Gasol poops. • The Daily Illini rules. • The Patriots could possibly lose. Possibly. • The Bob Knight Gun Show • God, we love Canada. • Bill Conlin would like you to get off his lawn. • Covering the Knicks is miserable. ...

Where'd You Hide The Alcohol, Danny Ocean?
It's like a three thing... it's, like, ball, dick, ball. It's like a division sign... we just wish you would take those off....

Workin' On Thanksgiving
• Nick Saban is a student of history. • It's funny when sideline reporters are dropped on their head. • The Celtics aren't going undefeated. • Zoooooook. • Isiah somehow survived the week. • Thanksgiving is not that important to Ron Mexico. • We will miss Kaz Tadano. • Frank TV is here! (Briefly.) •...

We'll Be Listening To You
We know that you know, Mr. Caul. For your own sake, don't get involved any further....