deadspin-2016 Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Big Ben Says Trump Full Of Shit; Did Not Endorse, Will Not Speak At GOP Convention
Ben Roethlisberger is scrambling in the pocket as the Steelers quarterback denies Donald Trump after the Republican candidate claimed he had the Steelers quarterback’s endorsement and planned to have Big Ben speak at the GOP convention....
Donald Trump Plans Tom Brady, Ben Roethlisberger, Dana White To Speak On His Behalf At GOP Convention
If Donald Trump gets his way the GOP convention will feature Tom Brady, Ben Roethlisberger, and Dana White speaking on the Republican nominee’s behalf rather than the usual string of politicians....
Donald Trump Caught In Major Fabrication
Human meat sculpture Donald Trump has long embraced his unique brand of reality on Twitter, but the Republican presumptive presidential nominee took it to a major level last night in attempting to express his appreciation for one of his patrons:...
Only You Can Help Saddle This Minor League Baseball Team With A Dumb New Name
The Binghamton Mets, the AA affiliate of the New York Mets, have decided, as we briefly noted earlier today, that it’s time for the ballclub to forge boldly onward into the future and delineate their own identity outside of the influence of the mothership. This is noble and good, because minor leagu...
Curt Schilling Publishes Entertaining Endorsement Of Donald Trump
Meme enthusiast Curt Schilling has fulfilled his destiny, not merely endorsing Donald Trump but publishing a vigorous and detailed 1,500 word screed on his personal website explaining why he’s doing so....
Get Fucked, John Kasich
What even was John Kasich’s sweaty, affronted, whatever-happened-to-the-responsible-grownups-in-this-party act if not an even more insulting and ahistorical version of “Make America Great Again”? When was the last time the Republican Party had responsible grownups? When it sold a needless, catastrop...
Farewell To Ted Cruz, Self-Made Sucker
Ted Cruz, the worst possible man, lost the Indiana Republican primary to Donald Trump yesterday. He’d staked it as his last stand in the nominating race, even brokering a cynical armistice with John Kasich to unify anybody-but-Trump voters in the state, and got clobbered anyway, by some 17 percentag...
George Will Is A Haughty Dipshit
George Will should have been left unemployed and starving ages ago. Newspapers are dying off and people despise the media more than they have ever despised the media—which is saying a lot—and yet here fucking George Will remains, along with the Noonans and Friedmans and Brookses of the world, gainfu...
A Complete, Jovial Guide To The 2016 Senate Races
With six months and change still to go until November 8, you’ve probably learned more this election cycle than you ever hoped to hear about loony wall-construction-financing schemes, losing unspecified competitions to China, and/or the self-reported approximate dimensions of a certain candidate’s ge...
IDK NOT TRUMP THO
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NASCAR Invocation Features Prayer To Elect A Republican President
Unapologetic bigot Phil Robertson delivered the invocation before tonight’s NASCAR race in Texas, and it didn’t disappoint—if you were looking forward to the duck call industrialist to pray for “A Jesus man” to be elected president in November....
Clinton: You're Too Broke For A Candidate Who Represents You
Here is a hell of a tweet:...
Did The Media Create Donald Trump? (No.)
So the question of the moment is: Did the media create Donald Trump?...
Let's Teach Ted Cruz Some Charisma
Politicians are in the business of persuasion, so it is always miraculous to see one succeed with an egregiously short supply of charm. It’s like the Hanukkah miracle, a menorah burning for eight days on a meager drop of oil; or, it’s like Ted Cruz conning his way onto the short list for our nation’...
What It’s Like To Be Protested
I couldn’t hear what they were saying. I was standing on the steps of Oviatt Library at Cal State Northridge, giving a speech to all the incoming freshmen as part of the university’s formal convocation. (Quick acknowledgment: Yes, this actually happened, so you are now free to dump on me for being a...
Marco Rubio Will Have To Find Another Bed To Shit
Marco Rubio may very well be the emptiest suit to have campaigned for national office in my lifetime. He makes Paul Ryan look like Benjamin Disraeli....
Donald Trump Praises Missouri's Football Teams In Bizarre Speech
In the past twelve months, the state of Missouri has watched its NFL team depart for Los Angeles while its lone Division I-FBS team nearly went on strike due to racism on campus; they went 5-7 on the season. The two FCS programs? Missouri State’s football team went 1-10, while SEMO went 4-7. Donald ...
Donald Trump Shouts Out Paul O'Neill At Press Conference, Gets His Endorsement
Former Yankees outfielder Paul O’Neill showed up at the press conference turned Home Shopping Network program that Donald Trump, a short-fingered megalomaniac, held in Florida tonight, and even got a shoutout during Trump’s speech. John Kasich will be torn up about not getting his fellow Ohioan’s su...
Keith Olbermann Bodyslams Donald Trump Through The Core Of The Earth
Ever since Keith Olbermann left the ESPN airwaves eight months ago, there has been a conspicuous lack of uppercutting people into volcanoes and dropkicking them through glass doors in our lives. But there was no way the man who made his post-SportsCenter name exchanging haymakers with the Bush admin...