deadspin-x Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Horny 92-Year-Old Woman Couldn't Get A Kiss, So She Got Her Gun
When 92-year-old Helen Staudinger's boytoy neighbor Dwight Bettner refused to kiss her on Monday, she turned her .380 semi-automatic pistol on 'im. She missed, but it's the thought that counts....

This Is How You Looked In 1990, America
This isn't sports, beyond a Mets kid and what I believe is a Randy White Cowboys shirtsey. But it is America, in the summer of 1990, as pictured at your local mall. As someone who wasn't old enough to be dressing myself in 1990, I can say: shame on you, past people. [How To Be A Retronaut]...

A Golden Shower Isn’t Fun If You Didn’t Ask For One
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase six heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Transgender Thai Wows TV-Show Audience With Bait-And-Switch Performance
Did you catch "Thailand's Got Talent" this week? If not, you missed a competitor much like Susan Boyle if Susan Boyle was a singer named Bell Nuntita who looks and sounds like a female angel until the masculine bass comes out to shine....

Revenge Of The Bullied: Casey Becomes An Icon
It's been a day since the Internet was introduced to Casey Heynes, the Australian kid who struck back against a bully. In Internet time, a day's an eternity, so let's bring you up to date....

The Ultimate Anti-Bullying PSA: Kid Fights Back With Devastating Body Slam
Casey's had enough. The bigger kid on the right "has been bullied his whole school life," says the video description, "and this is what happens when he snaps!!" Hence the jackknife powerbomb. The Facebook commenters are universally in his corner, as we all should be, but the school didn't see it t...

The Worst Lost Virginity Story Ever
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Snoop From "The Wire" Got Arrested In Operation Usual Suspects
Federal, state and city authorities hit Baltimore yesterday, charging 63 people with drug stuff after "acting on intelligence that started flowing in about the Latrobe Homes-based organization." Those cuffed include Felicia "Snoop" Pearson, arrested on heroin-related and aiding and abetting charge...

Taser Porn: Man Dodging Traffic Requires More Than A Few Shocks
Pontiac, Mich., former home of the Lions and current home of...this guy, who for whatever reason thought it'd be fun to play Frogger. Fortuitously, news cameras were there to capture his tasing, handcuffing, tasing, additional tasing, and eventual subdual....

This Is The Mug Shot Of A Man Who Interrupted His Haircut To Stab Someone With Scissors
It's not the half-headed man's mugshot, but it's similar. David Davis of New Haven, Conn., was arrested and charged with slashing another man who entered the barbershop while Davis was getting his haircut. The result: the Halfro....

Cockblocked By Hot Tub Cripples!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Extremely Intoxicated Priest Offered Himself Up As Sex Slave To Some Cops
When Brimfield Township, Ohio police came up upon the Very Reverend Canon Ignatius J. Kury, Pastor the other night, the holy man was laying down in the back seat of his ride, hammered. This much was confirmed when he blew three times the legal limit. That's around the time that they decided to star...

Reporter With Giant Balls Breaks Up Street Fight
Gonzo journalism at its finest, as Seattle reporter Shomari Stone stumbles across the beginning of a fight on Seattle's waterfront as he's filming his standup. Stone jumps in and stops the fight, something that pansy Murrow never would have done....

Pizza Shop Bandit Leaves Hansel-And-Gretel Trail Of Sauce, Chips
And they knew him by the trail of Doritos and pizza sauce. They, being the Ventura County Sheriff's Department. Him, being Taylor Christopher Jackson who allegedly broke into a Domino's pizzeria in Ojai, Cal. But how did they know?...

Voodoo Sex Ritual Starts Fire? Voodoo Sex Ritual Starts Fire.
Flatbush, Brooklyn. A woman in need of luck. A holy man in need of $300. Voodoo sex ritual....

Cockblocked By Phish!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Here's How The Pizza Lady Saved The 82-Year-Old Who Ordered A Large Thin-Crust Pepperoni And Two Diet Cokes Every Day
The fact that Jean Wilson predictably called a Domino's Pizza daily is thought-provoking in and of itself. The fact that driver Susan Guy noticed when she didn't call is downright cool....

Adventures In Pant Stuffing!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Got one of your own? Share it with me. Off we go....

James Earl Jones Does Justin Bieber
It's the karaoke precisely no one was waiting for, but now that it's here, we couldn't be more thrilled. Enjoy James Earl Jones's rendition of "Baby," in a proper context....

The Time Zito Gave Mulder A Handjob, And Other Tales From The World Of Baseball Slash Fiction
Some lucky folks have especially vivid imaginations. But the rest of us need the internet to find Jaret Wright tenderly licking Melky Cabrera, or Kyle Farnsworth and Vance Wilson in bed together with knives....