deadspin-xy Page 31 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Derek Jeter And Minka Kelly Have Split, So Here's Your Chance, Dudes
Take that however you want to take it, single heterosexual male Yankees fans....
Looks Like The DePaul Assistant Coach's Home May Not Have Been Robbed After All
In the interest of fairness to unknown but besmirched burglars everywhere, here's a follow-up to the "Today In Horrible Quotes" post from yesterday morning. It was about a bummer of a break-in, but Act II features a police source telling the press that things may not have gone down as reported. Sta...
My Oh My Does Cole Hamels Look Like He Was Born To Walk The Runway
Earlier tonight, The Shane Victorino Foundation All-Star Celebrity Fashion Show was held in Philadelphia. It's for a good cause. This picture was taken there. Do with it what you will....
If You're Going To Pick A Fight With A Memphis Transit Security Guard, Make Sure It's Not The MMA Fighter-In-Training
When a Memphis Area Transit Authority security guard beat the piss out of some chump who was harassing the ladies outside a downtown station, the local ABC affiliate did God's work....
HOLY SHIT GIANT RAT IMPALED ON PITCHFORK
Let's stop worrying about earthquakes and hurricanes (and, for the east coast, natural disaster inferiority) and devote some time to the problem of the giant, possibly mutant rats living underneath our buildings....
Today In Horrible Quotes
"My father [William] was the first black that played basketball in the Big 10. They took that jersey and his Globetrotter jersey. They also took my son's city championship ring and oxygen tank." — DePaul assistant basketball coach Billy Garrett, upon finding his Chicago home had been cleaned out by...
Gilbert Arenas's Ex Can Appear On "Basketball Wives" In Part Because Obama And Dick Cheney Are Related
Gilbert Arenas did not want his former fiancé Laura Govan to appear on VH1's "Basketball Wives" or mention his name on it. So, he sued....
If You Have To Get Arrested, Driving While Drinking A Beer And Receiving Oral Sex Isn't A Bad Way To Go
Thanks to The Smoking Gun, we can all meet George Howard, a Kentucky man arrested this morning for some shenanigans involving a 2006 Ford on the outskirts of Louisville. Johnny Law intervened after seeing Howard's ride allegedly collide with a curb....
Ohio Man Rams A Store With A Semi Truck So He Can Steal An $800 Synthetic Vagina (UPDATE)
Ah, Ohio. Home of the drunken werewolf and the teacher who sprayed cops with her breast milk. Now the Smash and Grab Sex Toy Thief of Lorain County joins them....
US Marines Serving In Afghanistan Warned Not To Fart So Audibly
Battle Rattle, a Military Times blog, has an important dispatch from the front lines, which they wanted us to share with you. So often we forget about the sacrifices our troops abroad make to protect this nation's freedom. Sacrifices like sphincter clenching....
You Can't Fight A DMV-Nominated Samurai Champion In Lieu Of A Trial Anymore
A tipster has sent us a story nine years old but timeless. You might not know that in England, drivers must fill out a specific form in order to avoid paying taxes on an unused vehicle. You also might not know that in Medieval England, trials were often settled by the two parties engaging in single ...
Man With Rotting, Cancerous Penis Claims Surgeon Removed Rotting, Cancerous Penis Without Permission
"[Phillip, penis-less man]Seaton's lawyer, Kevin George, told the jury during opening arguments that his client doesn't feel like a man. He showed the jury four photographs of Seaton's groin saying, "You can see there's nothing there." Four photographs seems excessive. [Jackson Sun]...
Here's Video Of A Pack Of Young Ladies Robbing A D.C. Convenience Store
Per MyFoxDC, "Another flash mob robbery has occurred in the area, this time at a convenience store ... Surveillance video from the Shop Express Convenience Store shows that there were 10 young women involved....
Cockblocked At Catholic School!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Deaf Minnesotans Probably Equate High-School Football Preseason With Caligulan Rabbit Breeding
Scott Seroka of KARE 11 News in Minneapolis just wanted to tease a back-to-school angle about local high-school football teams returning to two-a-day practices the following week. Closed captioning for the hearing impaired took it from there and added some sexual seasoning....
Here's Video Of A Street Fight During Which One Participant Is Shoved Into A Trash Can
It's unclear where why this battle royale broke out since the "Ghetto fight - big brawl" description on YouTube only states, "Some ppl fighting in da streets look like black vs white."...
Ukulele Boob Girl Will Do Anything You Ask If You Vote For Her Again
Remember Sarah H., the lovely damsel who desperately pleaded for your votes in some sort of freakish marketing contest by playing a ukulele nestled under her breasts? Well, she's emailing again, claiming that the freakish marketing people somehow turned her 1,500-vote advantage into a 12-vote defic...
Last Night Some Florida Lady Tried To Beat Up Her Girlfriend With A Strap-On
Young love is never as pretty as they make it look on television, in your 90210 or Friday Night Lights. Instead of runny mascara, the young ladies of Bradenton, Florida have given us strap-on violence....
Video: A Clown's-Eye View Of This Weekend's Gathering Of The Juggalos (NSFW)
Animal New York's Bucky Turco joined me at the 12th annual Gathering this past weekend. He fearlessly tracked down the most wretched photographs and videos to be found at the campground. Here's a brief sampling. Do not watch this at work....
From Deadspin Writer To Undercover Juggalette: A Video Transformation
So I went to the 12th annual Gathering of The Juggalos this weekend. I was dressed like this. You can read all about the titties and the drugs in a few hours. [UPDATE: Read all about the titties and the drugs.]...