Last Night Some Florida Lady Tried To Beat Up Her Girlfriend With A Strap-On

Young love is never as pretty as they make it look on television, in your 90210 or Friday Night Lights. Instead of runny mascara, the young ladies of Bradenton, Florida have given us strap-on violence.

The Smoking Gun explains:

A Florida woman is facing a felony domestic violence charge after she allegedly tried to strike her girlfriend last night with a "female sex toy," according to a police report.

Responding to call of an aggravated assault with a knife, a cop interviewed Tamara Cadet and Jantavia Taylor about a confrontation in the Bradenton home they have shared for more than a year. [...] When Taylor spoke to a Bradenton Police Department officer, she denied chasing Cadet with knife in hand, instead noting that "the only thing that she threw at Ms. Cadet trying to strike her was a female sex toy (Strap on Penis)."

We're not sure of the gender studies implications of a lesbian couple that uses strap-ons to fight, but we're sure we'd get in trouble for speculating on them. So. Um. How 'bout them Gators?

Woman Tried To Assault Girlfriend With Sex Toy [Smoking Gun]