deadspin-xy Page 35 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What’s It Like To Be Aggressively Licked?
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

The Boob-Showcasing Ukulele Girl Said She'd Return With An Encore If She Got 50K Hits, So Return She Has
When Sarah K. first solicited your assistance back in April, it was in an effort to win $10,000 from some freakish marketing contest in New Zealand. Something called Hitachi, or something....

There Is A New World's Shortest Man; Say Hi To 23.6-Inch Junrey, Everybody
This is an 18 year-old. We have to admit that we're a little baffled. He's from the Philippines, too, so you know it's only a matter of time before he fights Manny Pacquiao on national television while literally everyone in the nation watches....

Tired Of Horse Racing? Consider Cow Cycling
This comes to us from France's Critérium du Dauphiné, one of this month's warm-ups for the Tour de France. There are a lot of climbs in the course, and, well, these cows saw one that looked like fun and figured they'd join in. Could they beat the horses that ran in the Belmont? Shittier horses? Wh...

Great Moments In Horrible Sexual Faux Pas
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Ohio Police Capture Drunken Local Werewolf
People of the greater Cleveland area, we get it. You miss LeBron and you're upset that he might win a championship. Noted. But that's no excuse to let wolfmen roam free. This young 20 year-old wolfman is likely especially spry, and he claims to have a military background. If you've ever played disco...

Watch This Drunk Guy Stumble Home
London's network of surveillance cameras finally pays off, with this stitched-together journey of one gentleman's trip home after being kicked out of a big celebrity get-together. [via Bob's Blitz]...

Cockblocked By Hindu Marriage Traditions!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

I've Been Staring At This Bizarre Photo For Almost A Minute And I Still Haven't Blinked (NSFW?)
For whatever reason, a reader named "Adem" sent this pic in an email without any logical explanation. So I leave it up to you people to figure out the sad, mysterious backstory of this screen-capture from what appears to be some sort of hostage situation at an S & M dungeon filled with fast food em...

German Women Adept At Milking Cows, Plowing Fields Vie For Calendar-Modeling Gig
Two hundred women applied but just 25 made the first cut. From there, the Hamburg Chamber of Trade will whittle down the list to determine who has what it takes to represent not only a nation, but a way of life, in the 2012 German Farm Girls Calendar....

Cockblocked By The Mentally Disabled!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Seattle-Area Cheerleaders Up To Their Old Diapered, Hot-Dog-Slappin' Tricks
Scene: waning springtime in the Seattle metro area. Local cheerleaders, presumably led by Parker Posey, now up to no good with the school year coming to an end, their youth and beauty fading. Their tools: diapers and hot dogs....

Phillies Infielder Throws 10-Pitch 19th Inning To Close Out Joey Votto And The Reds
Your morning roundup for May 26, the day after Disney realized that it probably wasn't the best of ideas to trademark American heroes for profit....

Incredible Video Of A Tornado Chasing A Storm Chaser
David Payne of KFOR in Oklahoma City has been driving towards tornadoes for the better part of two decades. But last night, one changed direction and came down right on top of him....

An In-Depth Examination Of Dad Strength
I was driving to a Metro stop yesterday when I saw a car up ahead that was about to merge into traffic from bus stop lane. And sometimes, you can tell well in advance that the driver about to merge into traffic is a fucking idiot who won't bother looking to see if another car is there. You get that ...

Cockblocked By A Rape Joke!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

This Is The Story Of Two Elegant Latvian Women Roofying And Robbing A Weatherman In South Beach
The scam itself has the makings of a sexy Liam Neeson vengeance-comedy. After young beauties from Estonia, Latvia and the like brought their talents to South Beach, via the U.S. Department of Homeland Security Visa Waiver Program, they were trained in luring wealthy-looking businessmen to fake nigh...

Cockblocked In Thailand!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Some Texans Wish Michelangelo Chose To Cover David's Junk, If Only For Their Innocent Children
According to this news report on KTXS, several Abilene, Texas residents are rather concerned that "a new man" moved onto their block of Lollypop Trail and plopped a statue of David and his manmeat right on the front lawn. These brave neighbors chose not to complain to the art patrons/villains next...

55 Grey Goose Cocktails For Only $770! An Unscientific Analysis Of The Epic Bar Tab From Tryst In Las Vegas
A few caveats: 1.) This booze session took place in Vegas; 2.) It took place at Tryst, which for those of you fortunate enough to never have been intoxicated therein, can inflict permanent damage to the wallet. That said, this is still an impressive receipt, a full version of which you can view here...