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The Worst Lost Virginity Story Ever
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Snoop From "The Wire" Got Arrested In Operation Usual Suspects
Federal, state and city authorities hit Baltimore yesterday, charging 63 people with drug stuff after "acting on intelligence that started flowing in about the Latrobe Homes-based organization." Those cuffed include Felicia "Snoop" Pearson, arrested on heroin-related and aiding and abetting charge...

Taser Porn: Man Dodging Traffic Requires More Than A Few Shocks
Pontiac, Mich., former home of the Lions and current home of...this guy, who for whatever reason thought it'd be fun to play Frogger. Fortuitously, news cameras were there to capture his tasing, handcuffing, tasing, additional tasing, and eventual subdual....

This Is The Mug Shot Of A Man Who Interrupted His Haircut To Stab Someone With Scissors
It's not the half-headed man's mugshot, but it's similar. David Davis of New Haven, Conn., was arrested and charged with slashing another man who entered the barbershop while Davis was getting his haircut. The result: the Halfro....

Cockblocked By Hot Tub Cripples!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Extremely Intoxicated Priest Offered Himself Up As Sex Slave To Some Cops
When Brimfield Township, Ohio police came up upon the Very Reverend Canon Ignatius J. Kury, Pastor the other night, the holy man was laying down in the back seat of his ride, hammered. This much was confirmed when he blew three times the legal limit. That's around the time that they decided to star...

Reporter With Giant Balls Breaks Up Street Fight
Gonzo journalism at its finest, as Seattle reporter Shomari Stone stumbles across the beginning of a fight on Seattle's waterfront as he's filming his standup. Stone jumps in and stops the fight, something that pansy Murrow never would have done....

Pizza Shop Bandit Leaves Hansel-And-Gretel Trail Of Sauce, Chips
And they knew him by the trail of Doritos and pizza sauce. They, being the Ventura County Sheriff's Department. Him, being Taylor Christopher Jackson who allegedly broke into a Domino's pizzeria in Ojai, Cal. But how did they know?...

Voodoo Sex Ritual Starts Fire? Voodoo Sex Ritual Starts Fire.
Flatbush, Brooklyn. A woman in need of luck. A holy man in need of $300. Voodoo sex ritual....

Cockblocked By Phish!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Here's How The Pizza Lady Saved The 82-Year-Old Who Ordered A Large Thin-Crust Pepperoni And Two Diet Cokes Every Day
The fact that Jean Wilson predictably called a Domino's Pizza daily is thought-provoking in and of itself. The fact that driver Susan Guy noticed when she didn't call is downright cool....

Adventures In Pant Stuffing!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Got one of your own? Share it with me. Off we go....

James Earl Jones Does Justin Bieber
It's the karaoke precisely no one was waiting for, but now that it's here, we couldn't be more thrilled. Enjoy James Earl Jones's rendition of "Baby," in a proper context....

The Time Zito Gave Mulder A Handjob, And Other Tales From The World Of Baseball Slash Fiction
Some lucky folks have especially vivid imaginations. But the rest of us need the internet to find Jaret Wright tenderly licking Melky Cabrera, or Kyle Farnsworth and Vance Wilson in bed together with knives....

Cockblocked By The Hoff!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Iowa City Arsonist Witness Looks Remarkably Similar To The GEICO Caveman Guy
Police in Iowa City, Iowa are on the hunt for an arsonist who allegedly burnt down an apartment building a week ago. As a few tipsters have shrewdly pointed out, the prime witness in the investigation, and the possible suspect, bears a striking resemblance to the caveman from those awful GEICO comme...

Diamond Foxxx Willing To Take One And Another And Another For The Team
According to a press release from Rising Star PR, Ms. Diamond Foxx recently noted that, "I'm a huge Steelers fan and if they win — which they will — I wanted to do something super special."...

Meteorologist Loses His Shit Over Thundersnow
Jim Cantore of The Weather Channel has made a career out of standing and yelling in terrible inclement weather and getting totally amped about it, but nothing, really, could have prepared him for this Chicago thundersnow....

Here's A Visual Reimagining Of Elway's Super Bowl Helicopter Spin, Starring A Playmate
The fine people at Playboy were kind enough to send along a link to "Greatest Super Bowl Moments With Jaime Edmondson." Here's how they explain what's going on:...

Deadspin's Top 10 Movies Of 2010
For many years, prior to the Oscar nominations, the boy from Mattoon and his friend Tim have put on their Ebert t-shirts and run down their personal best movies of 2010. It's cute. Sometimes I chime in. My list is below....