deadspin Page 253 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Buffalo Bills WR Celebrates His Birthday With A Cake That Looks Like His Ladyfriend's Ass
Writes tipster Mark S., "Buffalo Bills WR Stevie Johnson is a strange soul. Blaming god for a dropped ball in November, and now a nice big booty birthday cake."...

Mork "Hunting Bait" Encino's Story Got The Taiwanese-Animation Treatment, Too
Will somebody — anybody — pony up $12,000 so we can find out what it's like to hunt a human being, win, lose or drawl?...

Circle Me, Innuendo
Your morning roundup for July 20, the day we failed trying to tell Twins play-by-play man Dick Bremer we went to Staples High, too. H/T to Tim for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Kentucky Man Charged With Repeat Horse-Sex Offense
Nathan Johnson, 28, just can't suppress the urges inside him. Or maybe he was just bored in Paducah, Kentucky, a city of 25,000 near the Illinois border. The heat, oh, the heat. It can drive a man mad....

Is Going Commando In Gym Shorts OK?
Before I get to the Funbag, just a quick reminder that I'll be at Comic Con on Saturday, doing the Immortality panel at 10AM in Room 7AB. You can buy a copy of "The Postmortal" a month early if you go. And you get to meet me! And then you get to ignore me when you realize that one of the dudes who w...

Maybe Now The Dodgers Can Officially Add Bankruptcy To The Lineup
Your morning roundup for July 19, the day we learned to stay out of the way when Real Madrid rides around in a golf cart. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Is What Can Happen When You Give An Umpire A Microphone
Your morning roundup for July 18, the day the NFL began castrating "circumcising mosquitoes." Got any photos or stories for us? Tip your editors....
![Jay Mariotti Some Dude Impersonating Jay Mariotti Says US Women's Team Was Unpopular, Unpretty In School [CORRECTION]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17pywshl5osm1jpg.jpg)
Jay Mariotti Some Dude Impersonating Jay Mariotti Says US Women's Team Was Unpopular, Unpretty In School [CORRECTION]
Your morning roundup for July 17, the day we welcomed back the best show on TV. See anything worthwhile? Tip your editors. Via Jay Mariotti's Facebook, h/t to Justin....

The NL Central Standings Look Like A Misprint, But Pittsburgh's Really In First
Your morning roundup for July 16, the day we wondered who was giving all thatmoney to Michele Bachmann. See anything worthwhile? Tip your editors....

Arian Foster Stays In Shape By Riding A Mechanical Bull While Jared From Subway Looks On
Houston Texans running back Arian Foster rode a mechanical bull for a Subway-promotion-cum-charity-thing on Thursday. Jared looked on, with some other dude, and perhaps no one else....

The Dangers Of Handjobs From Softball Players
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Prince Fielder Really Needs To Borrow Your Sunglasses
Your morning roundup for July 15, the day we forgot....

Despite Jeff Novitzky's Life's Work, Cheating At Sports Is Still Not A Crime
Jeff Novitzki was an IRS agent. Not an avenging angel sent from above, nor an earthly crusader for all that is good and pure in America, but a bureaucrat. Somewhere along the way he got it into his mind that it was his job and his job alone (and his only job) to eradicate the peril of steroids in sp...

Harry Potter Versus Star Wars: The Final Judgment
The final Harry Potter movie opens up this week, and all week long people have been saying "goodbye" to the franchise. Lots of crying in your butterbeer and all that....

Brian Wilson Wore A Skin-Tight Tuxedo Onesie To The ESPYs
Your morning roundup for July 14, the day we watch Dog get shaken down by bro with a camera in Colorado....

Here's Video Of A Brawl At A California Denny's (NSFW)
It's difficult to decide what's worse: the racist bile in the video description on YouTube or the ladyfriend's screeching. Ladies and gentlemen, the Laguna Hills, Cal. Denny's. Shit gets real when girlfriend charges a foe 53 seconds in....

Deadspin Gives Back
It was through tipster Len G.'s "newest favorite billboard in New Orleans" that we met da Gonorrhea BREAKER, da Crabs ASSASSIN, da Chlamydia CRUSHER, da HIV Awareness ENFORCER, Lady STD KILLA, da Condom FATHER, da Trich TERMINATOR, da Syphilis ELIMINATOR, da Herpes HIT WOMAN and da HPV SLAPPER....

Heath Bell Is A Crazy Person
Your morning roundup for July 13, the day we met, and then ran away from, Magnet Boy....

Deadspin Classic: And Now A Selection From Tim McCarver's <em>Great American Songbook</em>, Remixed
Tim McCarver spent the evening talking on your television. Now let him sing you to sleep. Originally published Nov. 13, 2009....

Would You Kill A Stranger To Save Football?
Last week, I went to the gym and went inside the locker room to change before I worked out (POWER LIFTING GRRR STRONG!), and when I went to pull my gym clothes out of the bag a pair of my kid's underwear went flying out of the bag onto the floor. They had gotten there by accident during laundry fold...