deadspinxy Page 27 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Are The Odds You'll Kill An Old Person With Your Cold?
Your letters:...
Cockblocked By The Dreaded Hanger-On
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
How To Not Piss Off The World With Your Email Signature
I once worked at an ad agency that forced employees to use an email signature. And not only did we have to have an email signature, but we had to rotate in new talking points about the company into the signature every week. "Did you know that Sturding Pooper Raper Lice was ranked a Top 50 Agency by ...
It Takes A Special Kind Of Mom To Disown Her Child Over Voicemail
Once in a while, we're offered a glimpse into the dark heart of the American family. The above voicemail is one such instance. Reader Ben provides the background:...
This Is What Trying To Drive A Golf Cart Along A Highway After A Wedding Reception Looks Like
You know how this goes: The reception's over and everyone in the wedding party is slowly but surely getting their shit together to get on the hotel shuttle, where the party will likely continue. But Saturday night, just south of Pittsburgh, a couple of Yinzers had other ideas....
Philly's Premier Andy Reid Impersonator Watches A Russian Gang Fight For Us, Sees Shades Of T.O.
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Russian Gang Fight." Tonight's commentator: Andy Reid (or Ried) impersonator/Armenian/comedian Steve Odabashian....
How To Tell Your Family That Your Cousin Is A Porn Star
Before we get into the Funbag, a quick announcement: I'll be out in D.C. tomorrow night handling the introduction at Justin Halpern's book reading at the Sixth & I Synagogue (Gregg Easterbrook would not approve). I should tell you in advance that you have to pay to go to this thing, which is a pain ...
Cockblocked By Asthma!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Pissed-Off College Student Leaves Greatest Voicemail Ever
If you've ever attended school at any level, you know how infuriating it can be when some dipshit administrator screws up your paperwork and sticks you in the wrong class. Or even worse, when they actively try to prevent you from switching out of that class into the class you wanted. Well, one br...
How To Fold A Fajita Without Looking Like Some Sort Of Dumbass
Oh, fajitas. Oh, how I adore you. The way you arrive at my table still sizzling on a metal platter. The way the waiter warns me to NEVER touch that metal platter, or else all my nerve endings will detonate. The way the steam comes up from the tortillas once I've lifted the lid on the tortilla-holder...
A Dead Milkman Breaks Down "The <em>Citizen Kane</em> Of White Trash Punch-Out Videos" For Us
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Tech N9ne Concert Fight Billings MT 5-21-12," which "LatinaJuggalette" was kind enough to share. Tonight's commentator: Rodney Anonymous, satiricapunk-rockin' front ma...
The 10 Most Insane States In America
I was hanging out at home yesterday when a neighbor came knocking on our door and told me that she had driven home to find that her door was wide open and that she was scared someone had broken into her house. She didn't want to check out the house by herself, so she wanted to know if I could scout ...
Naked Man Shot To Death While Eating Another Man's Face
We can dispense with the Ohio or Florida game. This kind of crazy only happens in Florida. Just south of the Miami Herald offices, to be sort of specific. At around 2:00 p.m. yesterday afternoon, people heard several gunshots along the 13th Street ramp of the MacArthur Causeway. According to Miami ...
Here Is An Interpretive Dance Featuring Two Dudes, An Inflatable Globe And The Gilded Voice Of Peabo Bryson
It's a holiday weekend, so you're getting this bizarre yet entertaining video of a dance routine set to "A Whole New World" from Disney's Aladdin. [Beantown Banter]...
Pussyblocked By Your College Major!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Watch This Girl Crush A Red Bull Can Using Only Her Shoulder Blades
People ... this video. THIS VIDEO. I don't even know what to say. Reader Kenneth attempts to provide context:...
A Philly Cop Watches A Mother's Day Street Brawl For Us: "This Can Turn Into A Murder In 2.2 Seconds"
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Females free for all fight in north philly on mothers day!" Tonight's commentator: An active-duty Philadelphia police officer we'll just call Frankie....
Guy With Weird Dating Survey Defends His Data Collection Methods
Ladies, Mike Stolar is on the market. He's the (formerly anonymous) guy who asks some dates to fill out a survey. (An unsatisfied date passed the survey along to us last week, and we shared it, with a little backstory.)...
Gangrenous, Flesh-Eating Penis Infection Results In Most Harrowing Paragraph Ever
I'm not sure if we can technically call this "Deadspin XY" anymore but just suspend your disbelief for a bit, it's the only way I can legitimize writing about it. Enrique Milla has sued an anesthesiologist in Miami for failing to recognize he was a surgical risk due to uncontrolled diabetes. What d...