deadspinxy Page 51 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Snoop From "The Wire" Got Arrested In Operation Usual Suspects
Federal, state and city authorities hit Baltimore yesterday, charging 63 people with drug stuff after "acting on intelligence that started flowing in about the Latrobe Homes-based organization." Those cuffed include Felicia "Snoop" Pearson, arrested on heroin-related and aiding and abetting charge...
Taser Porn: Man Dodging Traffic Requires More Than A Few Shocks
Pontiac, Mich., former home of the Lions and current home of...this guy, who for whatever reason thought it'd be fun to play Frogger. Fortuitously, news cameras were there to capture his tasing, handcuffing, tasing, additional tasing, and eventual subdual....
This Is The Mug Shot Of A Man Who Interrupted His Haircut To Stab Someone With Scissors
It's not the half-headed man's mugshot, but it's similar. David Davis of New Haven, Conn., was arrested and charged with slashing another man who entered the barbershop while Davis was getting his haircut. The result: the Halfro....
Cockblocked By Hot Tub Cripples!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Extremely Intoxicated Priest Offered Himself Up As Sex Slave To Some Cops
When Brimfield Township, Ohio police came up upon the Very Reverend Canon Ignatius J. Kury, Pastor the other night, the holy man was laying down in the back seat of his ride, hammered. This much was confirmed when he blew three times the legal limit. That's around the time that they decided to star...
How Roger Ebert And Charlie Sheen Will Help You Overcome Your Fear Of Death
Let's get right to your letters. I'm full of tiger blood....
Reporter With Giant Balls Breaks Up Street Fight
Gonzo journalism at its finest, as Seattle reporter Shomari Stone stumbles across the beginning of a fight on Seattle's waterfront as he's filming his standup. Stone jumps in and stops the fight, something that pansy Murrow never would have done....
Pizza Shop Bandit Leaves Hansel-And-Gretel Trail Of Sauce, Chips
And they knew him by the trail of Doritos and pizza sauce. They, being the Ventura County Sheriff's Department. Him, being Taylor Christopher Jackson who allegedly broke into a Domino's pizzeria in Ojai, Cal. But how did they know?...
Voodoo Sex Ritual Starts Fire? Voodoo Sex Ritual Starts Fire.
Flatbush, Brooklyn. A woman in need of luck. A holy man in need of $300. Voodoo sex ritual....
Your Filth-Laden Deadspin Oscar Preview
Did you know one of the nominated movies on Sunday night is a disgusting Greek film that features hardcore incest? I did not. That's why I roped in Leitch to do a drive-by Deadcast previewing this year's ceremony, which is sure to be boring and stupid and contain any number of needless musical inter...
Cockblocked By Phish!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Verizon Wireless Store Employees Are The Devil’s Afterbirth
Yesterday I had to go to a Verizon Wireless store to get the numbers from my old phone transferred over to a phone I had just purchased. (Not an iPhone. Fuck you for owning one, Mr. I Can Afford A Data Plan.) And after 15 minutes in that fucking store, I can now say, without hyperbole, that Verizon ...
Here's How The Pizza Lady Saved The 82-Year-Old Who Ordered A Large Thin-Crust Pepperoni And Two Diet Cokes Every Day
The fact that Jean Wilson predictably called a Domino's Pizza daily is thought-provoking in and of itself. The fact that driver Susan Guy noticed when she didn't call is downright cool....
Adventures In Pant Stuffing!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Got one of your own? Share it with me. Off we go....
The Loneliness Of The American College Transfer Student
I remember being on the floor of my room in South Quad, bawling my eyes out on the phone. I couldn't stop crying. Real, hard crying. The kind where your jaw unhinges and long, cathartic wails just come pouring right out of you. My mom was on the other end of the line, and for a very long time, she d...
James Earl Jones Does Justin Bieber
It's the karaoke precisely no one was waiting for, but now that it's here, we couldn't be more thrilled. Enjoy James Earl Jones's rendition of "Baby," in a proper context....
An Inside Look At The White House Pooper!
All my life I've wanted to know the details of where the President of the United States evacuates his bowels, and now an anonymous reader who is ON THE INSIDE has provided the crucial information....
The Time Zito Gave Mulder A Handjob, And Other Tales From The World Of Baseball Slash Fiction
Some lucky folks have especially vivid imaginations. But the rest of us need the internet to find Jaret Wright tenderly licking Melky Cabrera, or Kyle Farnsworth and Vance Wilson in bed together with knives....