detroit Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Matt Patricia Is Always Late
Bill Belichick’s gnarled, stunted coaching tree—a coaching krummholz, really—ultimately reflects well on Belichick. He’s not, apparently, succeeding solely by surrounding himself with hypertalented assistants, as we’re seeing every few years when one of those assistants gets a head coaching gig and ...
The Lions Are Still Clueless On How To Defend A Hail Mary
Stop me if you’ve heard this before: with time expiring, the Detroit Lions were unable to prevent a division rival from successfully pulling off a Hail Mary throw. ...
Heckler Gets Ejected After Blake Griffin Gets In His Face
Right as the Pistons sealed a road overtime win against the Timberwolves last night, Blake Griffin prompted a short stoppage in play when he confronted a fan near the Pistons bench. Griffin, who went off for a game-high 34 points, was held back by his teammates as he yelled “What the fuck did you sa...
Ass Team Of The Week: The Lions Finally Crapped Their Season Into The Toilet
The Detroit Lions lost 14-13 to the Buffalo Bills on Sunday, a result that guaranteed both a losing season and official elimination from the playoffs. It’s never a good thing for a team to have its season effectively ended by a one-point loss, and it is an even worse thing to have that loss come aga...
Bill Fralic Was A Real-Life Incredible Hulk
Most legends grow to become something beyond their actual size. That never seemed to be true of Bill Fralic, the former University of Pittsburgh and Atlanta Falcons offensive lineman, who died Thursday at the age of 56. He was as big as he was often described to be, and if you’re a certain age and y...
Two NFL Offensive Linemen Working Together Still Cannot Block Aaron Donald
Trying to stop Rams defensive lineman Aaron Donald with one blocker has the same effect as trying to stop a bowling ball with a piece of tissue paper. Using two offensive linemen doesn’t seem to be doing the trick, either....
Somebody Get Matthew Stafford Some Damn Weapons!
Unless you’re a Bears fan, Thursday’s 23-16 Lions loss against Chicago was a boring, depressing way to start Thanksgiving. Both teams’ offenses came out with extremely conservative, mostly ineffective game plans, and while that could be excused with Chicago QB Chase Daniel making the emergency start...
Matt Patricia Made The Lions Practice In The Snow For No Good Reason
The Bill Belichick coaching tree has produced a bounty of dullards and faux hardmen, and it’s beginning to look like former Patriots defensive coordinator and first-year Lions head coach Matt Patricia is the juiciest offering yet....
Dwane Casey Gets His Revenge On The Raptors
With 1.2 seconds remaining in regulation, José Calderón found Reggie Bullock five feet from the basket to hit the buzzer-beating shot that gave the Pistons a 106-104 win over the Raptors. It was Dwane Casey’s first game back in Toronto since the Raptors fired him at the end of last season, and he d...
Lions Loss Leaves Kelly Stafford Defending Her Husband And Matt Patricia Struggling For Answers
The Detroit Lions are not the worst team in the NFL. Their 3-5 record has them out of the playoff picture but also out of the league’s subbasement. Their point differential, while not very good at -30, is a mere fifth-worst in the NFC, and it’s far more respectable than Buffalo’s -145 or Oakland’s -...
The Vikings Defense Ate Matthew Stafford Alive
After starting the season with wins against Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers, the Lions have gone from a team that had dark horse potential to one that is definitively ass. This afternoon, the Vikings took advantage....
Joel Embiid Announces Plans To Expand His Real Estate Empire By Building Additional Housing Units In Andre Drummond's Cranium
Basketball star and no-rent housing innovator Joel Embiid had a monster game against the Pistons yesterday. And in his 39-point performance—32 of them coming in a scorching first half—Embiid achieved his twin goals of clowning on and growing his real estate investments with his favorite rival/unwitt...
Coach Who Always Looks Like A Pile Of Dirty Laundry Scolds Reporter For Slouching
Lions head coach Matt Patricia got testy with a reporter in today’s presser after being asked a question about how trading Golden Tate made the franchise better. The inquiry apparently didn’t bug him so much as the posture of the person asking it....
Joel Embiid And Andre Drummond Are Beefing, We Got Some Basketbeef Here
Philadelphia 76ers center Joel Embiid is a big fat out-of-shape butt and also a very fine television actor, according to Detroit Pistons center Andre Drummond. Let’s back up and make some sense of that....
Blake Griffin Overwhelms The Sixers, In 2018
I don’t know if I’ve ever exactly forgotten about Blake Griffin, but certainly the time spent last season toiling away on irrelevant Clippers and Pistons squads didn’t help restore any of the prestige lost during three seasons spent mostly in injury hell. It seems like whole eras have passed since G...
Shameless Joel Embiid Flop Gets Andre Drummond Tossed From One-Possession Game
This moment didn’t wind up deciding Tuesday night’s excellent Sixers-Pistons game, but certainly removing his counterpart from the game made it a worthwhile ploy for Joel Embiid. With the score tied in the final minute of regulation, Embiid beat Andre Drummond to the cup for a tough bucket; as the b...
Blake Griffin Had A Bad Start To His Season Thanks To Jarrett Allen
We all wondered what the high-flying Blake Griffin would look in the latter stages of his career when he could no longer consistently rely on his athleticism for buckets like he once used to. Thankfully, Jarrett Allen was there to answer that question for us tonight....
Report: Tigers Announcers Whose Beef Turned Physical Won't Be Back Next Year
The highlight of the Detroit Tigers’ season came when reports of a physical altercation between play-by-play man Mario Impemba and color commentator Rod Allen hit the internet. The incident occurred on Sept. 4, and neither man returned to the booth for the remainder of the season. The Detroit News r...
Detroit Arena To Replace Conspicuously Empty Red Seats With Less Conspicuously<em></em> Empty Black Seats
Ever since the new, taxpayer-funded home of the Pistons and Red Wings opened in Detroit, people have taken note of the often empty seats surrounding the action. This was especially true during Pistons games last season, when the team consistently found itself playing in front of a sea of vacant red ...
Here Are All Five Of Mason Crosby’s Missed Kicks Today
The Lions beat the Packers today, 31-23. They got a bit of help from the Packers’ kicker, Mason Crosby, who missed five kicks that could’ve totaled 13 points....