Ho Hum, Dennis Rodman Weeping On CNN Over The Personal Sacrifices He's Made To Broker Peace With North Korea

Monday night North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un joined a historic summit with Donald Trump, a sleazy failed businessman turned sleazy reality television star turned sleazy opportunistic Republican turned President of the United States, and I mean to tell you we haven’t even gotten to the truly psychedelic part of this…

The NFL Is Too Dumb To Realize That Donald Trump Is Never Going To Stop With This Shit

There is a story—which is usually described as a poem but is more precisely a muddled version of a song written by the jazz singer Oscar Brown Jr.—that Donald Trump delights in reading to crowds at his campaign rallies. Trump refers to it as “The Snake” and his fans know it by that name. “Who likes ‘The Snake’?” Trump…

Trump Unable To Remember Words To "God Bless America" At Performance Commissioned To Prove His Patriotism

Donald Trump’s hastily arranged replacement for the Super Bowl champion Eagles’ White House visit featured the president making a very brief appearance to talk about how great the economy is and, then, stand awkwardly while mouthing maybe half the words to “God Bless America” like a Yankees fan in right field who…

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Report: Donald Trump Spent Quality Time Last Week Talking Football With Bill Belichick

In 1993, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen found time between Full House episodes to record an album called I Am the Cute One. Songs include “I Am a Kid,” “I Love to Scream,” and “No One Tells the President What to Do.” The last of those is a celebration of the truth of its title—the president can do whatever he wants, and…