drunks Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
More Proof That Anheuser-Busch Hates You, Me, And Nature's Finest Fruit
Apples are the best fruit, because in addition to being delicious, they are also versatile. Apples can be juiced, pied, carameled, candied, fermented, distilled, cidered, crisped, jacked, brown bettied!, eaten plain without a fuss like you're some kind of goddamn health monster determined to live ...
Dogfish 120 Minute IPA Is America's Classiest One-Beer Buzz
I've been drinking irresponsibly lately, by which I mean all of the usual things, but also that I've been forgetting to use the stupid notebook in which I differentiate between beers with "strong grapefruit character" and those that merely display "pronounced citrus notes." I draw little trees next ...
Police Were Busy At Lambeau Field
It was a damp 32 degrees at kickoff, the self-service beer machines were up and running, and the fine people of Green Bay had themselves, as Hank Williams Jr. used to say, a Monday night party. ...
Here's An Underrated IPA From A Properly Rated State
New Hampshire is often overlooked by my fellow Massachusettsian beer-drinkers and life-lovers, and this is a shame. All we tend to know about the Granite (or Marble?) State is that there's no sales tax but high property tax (or perhaps vice versa), and it's got either a nice, long coastline or, if t...
This Kansas City Beer Bravely Triumphs Over Its Hippie-Trash Name
My wife and I got stuck in traffic on the way back from Western Massachusetts Sunday afternoon, which almost prevented us from seeing kickoff of the Patriots' 21-26 victory over those lucky (and terrifyingly good) Packers. But rather than risk missing the beginning of the game—or the whole game, or ...
Drink This And Celebrate Christmas Like A True Pennsylvanian
I finished the leftover turkey yesterday, which means today is Christmas. Tomorrow, barring anything unforeseen, will also be Christmas, as will each remaining day of 2014. Fine by me....
Goose Island BCBS: Trophy Beer That's Worth The Chase
A couple of weeks ago, one of my old day-drunk buddies brought another of our kind into the bar. That was notable, because we don't get a lot of new blood, not even the kind of new blood that is basically the same old blood wrapped up in a different bag of scum and bones....
Bars, Ranked
There are many different types of bar in which a person can drink alcohol. The order in which I prefer them is presented below....
Here's Yet Another Good Beer With A Stupid Name
I never get to name anything. My wife picked Cindy Lou Who for the cat (perfect name, perfect cat, no complaints), and some editor or another overruled my attempt to call this column Drinkspin instead of Drunkspin. I lobbied for the more dignified approach, but whoever runs this show knew they cou...
This Is The Best Store-Brand Beer
My wife is very thrifty and low-maintenance, so for the first two years of our relationship, I resisted pointing out that we could buy two yachts or pay off our student loans if she'd just please switch from Advil to a generic pain reliever. It was frustrating, but she doesn't ask for much, so I fig...
This Coffee Milk Stout Is The Pride Of New England
A couple of months ago, Business Wire reported that Pabst was on the verge of being sold to a Russian beverage company. My initial reaction was, "There's gotta be a good Putin-hipster-gulag joke in here somewhere," followed by apathy when I realized that you can't make a good joke about a society ...
Foster's: Australian For Fraud
My 11th-grade history teacher opened the first day of class by asking us to write down everything we knew about Christopher Columbus. Of course, we all knew he came to America—or somewhere near America, anyway—in 1492, and his ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria. The better st...
Sour Beer: The San Francisco Treat
Is beer food? That's a deceptively complex question. At first, you're like, "Of course beer is food, because it's made of barley and wheat and other edible plants," but then you realize that you don't chew beer, and food is something strongly associated with chewing. But wait, soup! Soup is definite...
Coors, The Original Trophy Beer (!?), Is Making A Comeback
'Tis the season when lazy bloggers start thinking about how to recycle a year's worth of crap into the awful-yet-beloved "Best Of" lists that allow us to expend as little energy as possible while keeping the internet fed over the holidays. I'll surely do my part with a Best Beers I Drank In 2014 i...
Delirium Tremens: A Refreshingly Morbid Belgian Ale
Last week, Esquire published a gentle little rant decrying the rise of lower-alcohol session beer. The author's mistaken thesis is that the praise pendulum has swung too far away from the sort of mighty, boozy beers he prefers and too close to an imaginary wave of thin, watery Bud Light-alikes who...
Guinness Blonde American Lager Is Pandering To You, Badly
Guinness occupies its own weird niche in the beer world. It's owned by a gigantic international corporation (London-based Diageo) and is contract brewed in dozens of factories around the world, making it only nominally Irish, and not at all crafty or artisanal. Yet the brand's flagship stout is stil...
Does Banana Bread Belong In Your Beer?
Bananas are pretty good. I'm not sure if Deadspin has ever issued a ranking of the fruits (editor's note: duh), but they probably have, and it was probably wrong, because everyone always underestimates kiwis and pretends to be too cool for apples. But if I were ever consulted on such a project, I'd ...
Yuengling Black And Tan Doesn't Suck
Thanksgiving is the best holiday, and second place isn't close. I deeply regret that I spent several obnoxious years pretending that Thanksgiving is overrated. That's preposterous, for it is impossible to be too enthusiastic about a midweek vacation day devoted entirely to sloth and excess....
Most Fruit Beers Suck; This One Doesn't
For such a handsome and hopeful young man, it took me a remarkably short period of time to get a bit jaded about the Craft Beer Movement™. It's not that I don't appreciate good beer—hell, you could go so far as to say I even respect it—and I also like the fact that the overwhelming majority of Ame...
Sierra Nevada Is Still The Freshest
Good afternoon, gang! How's tricks? DID YOU VOTE?! I won't buy you a beer unless you voted. Nah, just kidding, I won't buy you a beer regardless, and I also don't like to jump down non-voting throats. I cast my ballot, because I'm a paragon of virtue—plus I have a soft schedule and was already wea...