drunks Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: Dutch Couple Claims Wesley Sneijder Drunkenly Danced And Urinated On Their Car
An 35-year-old bald man was arrested last Sunday after he drunkenly danced, hopped and urinated on a car in Utrecht. Initial reports speculated that it was former UEFA Champions League winner Wesley Sneijder in video clips and grainy photos of the incident, but now the elderly couple that owns the c...
Drunk Heat Fan Tries To Fight Cops, Tumbles Down Several Rows Of Seats
At some point in the Miami Heat’s embarrassing 16-point home defeat to the Bulls last night, cops were called to the top of the lower bowl to deal with an apparently belligerent fan. The fan, 23-year-old Adrain Mato, was apparently arguing with some Bulls fans when the police came and told him to co...
The Real Hero Of The British Open Is Eddie Pepperell, Who Played His Final Round Hungover
Francesco Molinari of Italy won The Open Championship Sunday, following up his third-round 65 with a final-round 69 to finish two shots clear of the field and capture his first career major title. He is not the hero of the tournament. Nor is Tiger Woods the hero, even after his stirring two day char...
Drunk Vegas Asshole No Match For UFC Hall-Of-Famer Matt Serra
UFC lifer Matt Serra is in Las Vegas to check out this weekend’s fights and also for his induction into the Pioneer wing of the UFC Hall of Fame. What better way to kick things off than subduing a raging drunk with comical ease? According to a video Serra posted last night, the drunk guy was threate...
Possibly Alexander Ovechkin Might Be Having Too Much Fun, Beer
Last time we checked in on Alexander Ovechkin he was compulsively hoisting the Stanley Cup in various spots around Nationals Park after throwing out a pair of ceremonial first pitches. It was an early afternoon game for the Nats, leaving Ovechkin with a whole evening of freedom. So how’d he spend it...
Hell Is Real, And It's The Infield Of The Indy 500
“Where are you going? Heaven or hell?” asked a billboard beside a typically dull stretch of Interstate 65 halfway from Chicago to Indianapolis. Twenty miles south came another sign, this one more urgent than the last, a warning spelled out in white block type against a black background: “HELL IS REA...
Scottish Captain, Two Others Kicked Off Team In Middle Of Rugby League World Cup For Being Too Drunk
The Rugby League World Cup is underway in Australia, New Zealand and Papua New Guinea, but the Scottish national team left captain Danny Brough and two other players behind in Christchurch today as the team flew to Brisbane because they were just too drunk. ...
Sunderland's Darron Gibson Shits On Teammates In Drunken Bar Rant
Recently relegated Sunderland got their asses handed to them in a friendly against Celtic on Saturday, losing by a score of 5-0. After the match, some Sunderland fans happened upon Darron Gibson at a bar. Confronted by the fans’ frustrations, the Northern Irish midfielder is caught on video going on...
Ohio State QB J.T. Barrett Suspended After Arrest On Drunk Driving Charge
Ohio State quarterback J.T. Barrett will miss next week’s game against Minnesota after being arrested last night in Columbus on charges of operating a vehicle while intoxicated, according to Eleven Warriors....
I Peed My Pants At A Little League Game, And Other Tales Of Urine-Based Humiliation
A moment of silence for the dignity of everyone who responded when we asked you to tell us about a time you peed your pants. You have no shame, and you should be proud of that. But my God! A lot of you have pissed yourselves at inopportune times! Here are the best of those stories....
An Inflatable, Life-Size Ben Wallace, And Other Things You Bought While Drunk
According to a recent study on this very website, quite a few people make serious life decisions under the influence of alcohol. Go figure! On Friday, we asked our readers to tell us about the craziest things they’ve bought while drunk, and among the usual stuff (tattoos, memorabilia, and a subscrip...
What's The Craziest Thing You've Bought While Drunk?
What do an electronic megaphone, a case of Prosecco, and a “Welcome” sign featuring a pensive chocolate lab (pictured above) have in common? They’re all things I’ve purchased while hammered. Now, let us commiserate: Tell us your most outlandish drunk purchase. ...
Classic Man: "Dare A Rowdy, Drunk Friend To Eat A Raw Egg"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week we addressed how to interact with the ladies and dinner parties; today, we’ll tackle dealing with drunk friends....
A Sure-Why-Not Theory Explains Why The Mavs Might Lose DeAndre Jordan
DeAndre Jordan was all set to become a Dallas Maverick last week, but now he might be staying in Los Angeles after all, and everyone is wondering what the hell happened. Well, good news! We just received an illustrated theory from a tipster that lays out a very compelling case for how the Clippers g...
Premier League Starlet Pictured Passed Out In Middle Of The Road
Jack Grealish, the 19-year-old future-stud winger for Aston Villa, had a season to be proud of. He broke into the first team, becoming a regular starter by the end of the season, and impressed enough to be linked with bigger teams. To celebrate, it appears he got lit up in Spain, concluding at least...
Police Were Busy At Lambeau Field
It was a damp 32 degrees at kickoff, the self-service beer machines were up and running, and the fine people of Green Bay had themselves, as Hank Williams Jr. used to say, a Monday night party. ...
Extremely Intoxicated Metro North Passenger Munches On Floor Chips [Update]
This horrible incident occurred on one of New York's Metro North trains, which are often booze-fueled nightmares, full of shit-hammered White Plains residents trying to get home at 1:45 a.m. after drinking themselves stupid in the Meatpacking District....
Report On Drunks At Luke Bryan Concert Features Really, Really Drunk Guy
You are probably not going to see anyone as drunk as the guy featured in this report on a Luke Bryan concert tonight in Pittsburgh, as aired on WPXI's 11pm news....
Guy Dressed As Superman Breaks Up Pathetic Fight At Cardinals Game
Two sad, possibly drunk guys just sort of lean on each other in the way that sad, possibly drunk guys tend to do when they start a fight that they don't necessarily want to finish, and the world cries out for a hero to stop this madness. In comes Superman, who defuses the situation, and pauses in fr...
The Frat Boys Who Moved The Colts Out Of Baltimore
Thirty years ago this spring, Bob Irsay, the prototypical bad sports owner and an obstreperous public drunk, moved his Baltimore Colts to Indianapolis. His son, Jim Irsay, the current Colts boss, has sucked the fun out of the anniversary for Indianapolitans with a scandal that, in its sad and sordi...