duan Page 143 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Surfer Twatster Hannah Cornett Will Catch Those Who Distributed Her Facebook Updates, Facebook Status Says
We haven't heard from our girl in a while, since she's been very reluctant to contact us, except through her attorney, of course. Some good news to report from her dizzy little world: whatever treacherous online ordeal she feels she's endured since our first story ran, she's now got the swift arm of...
When Jack McKeon Managed Beer-And-Chicken-Lovin' Josh Beckett In Florida, He Locked The Clubhouse During Games
The Boston Globe story on the Red Sox's September collapse included a lot of semidamning revelations, among them that starters John Lackey, Josh Beckett, and Jon Lester ate fried chicken and drank beer while playing video games in the clubhouse during Sox games. Quelle dommage! Apparently Terry Fran...
Crazed Fan Swarms Minnesota Lynx During Championship Parade In Pedestrian Mall
The Minnesota Lynx won the 2011 WNBA championship today, after defeating the Atlanta Dream, 73-67, for a three-game sweep in the finals. They were feted by a parade in downtown Minneapolis this afternoon: 15,000 fans came out to Nicollet Mall, and 4,500 more joined the team at the Target Center. All...
Texas A&M Doesn't Know What Feces Look Like
What's worse than vandalizing a rival school's team buses, flinging shit all over? Saying your rivals did just that, when the truth is much more prosaic and less poopy....
Thunderdome Rules Didn't Apply At This MMA Event In Flint, Mich., A City Where They Probably Never Do
Last night, the Perani Arena & Event Center hosted "Flint Fight Night," where "the road to Professional MMA starts."...
Someone Wanted You To See A Lady Bodybuilder Dance On A Rooftop In A Thong
In sending along this "video of popular IFBB Pro Figure Competitor living it up in Dallas," tipster Crystal D. wrote, "It's rare to see an IFBB Pro Figure Competitor do anything like this."...
Enjoy Your Weekend And Please Feel Free To Join Us Monday Night To Watch Football, Crap Hats
We tried this a couple weeks ago and it was...fun? Depends on what your definition of fun is, I suppose, but I had fun. I always have fun, perhaps too much fun, which may result in soreness the next day. We all fall sometimes....
You, Bernard Berrian, Are A Walking Ball Bag, And Your Handlers Are Dumb And Should Be Fired
So this is something. Our friends over at KSK have irked an NFL player with one of their patented satirical posts, but unlike most of their targets, this NFL player decided to fight back with hissing lawyers and dildo-burping PR ladies in a misguided effort to protect his imaginary "brand."...
John Henry Blames Terry Francona For Injury Sustained On His Megayacht
There was a somber mood in the Deadspin office last Friday, when we received word that Red Sox owner and billionaire John Henry had been rushed to the hospital after sustaining an injury on his megayacht in Boston. We wondered if he'd broken a bone, or gotten a paper cut from a million-dollar bill, ...
Chris Cooley Loves To See Tony Romo Fail
Washington Redskins tight ends: They're just like us! Chris Cooley, down-to-earth potter, also finds strange gratification in seeing Tony Romo fail. During his weekly guest spot on the LaVar and Dukes show in Washington, Cooley fed the rivalry by sharing how he really feels about the Cowboys QB:...
A.J. Pierzynski Will Be Irritating You On World Series Broadcasts This Year
Fox Sports announced today, per USA Today, that once-blond nuisance (and current White Sox starting catcher) AJ Pierzynski would join Eric Karros' pompadour and the formerly frosted, still gelled tips of Chris Rose on Fox's World Series pregame and postgame coverage. Yuck. (We presume Jeanne Zelasko...
Big Lions Fan: Today's Victory Over The "Pathetic, Subpar" Cowboys Wasn't An Upset
From the looks of things, this fella here is so confident in his Detroit Lions's championship destiny that he's worked up a "Lions To The Super Bowl" report video intro heavy on Creedence....
Drunk Lady Took Golf Cart To CVS To Buy A Scarecrow And Bottle Of Canadian Mist
Some narc motorist in Chesterton, Ind. saw a 57-year-old lady named Jacqueline Hamilton swerving all over the road in a golf cart Wednesday night. He tried to intervene on society's behalf with some real talk, "but she wasn't very polite to him." As such, law was contacted....
"It's A Pretty Obscure Lockout. You Probably Haven't Heard Of It."
Here's a photo of some NBA players who spent the day getting thrown up against a wall by David Stern. We'll save our discussion of BRI split for another day. For now, I'd like to draw your attention to the man in the hipster-snug flannel shirt, Baron Davis, looking very much like the lost black memb...
This 6-Foot-4, 320-Pound NFL Player Drives A Hello Kitty Convertible Smart Car
Chargers DT Antonio Garay was just fined $15,000 by the NFL for a hit below the knee on Tom Brady in Week 2, but he will be laughing all the way to the bank, because he drives a tiny car with a Hello Kitty on it and tweets pictures of it all the time. So, ha!...
Belligerent Galloping Lady Demonstrates The Funniest Way To Use A Treadmill
We can't decide whether or not the belligerent gallop-jog is funnier on loop, as you'll see above, or as a single belligerent gallop-jog, which can be seen here. But this woman definitely eats elliptical girls for breakfast. Our only regret is that the tipster, Marc, did not capture the moment whe...
I-Team: Which Former Phillies Prospect Was Filmed Reverse-Cowgirling At The Coliseum?
You've seen the footage by now, either here, or elsewhere: a happy couple boinking away during an extended session of bleacher-seat sex while the cameraman films away. But according one tipster, the man in this classic video was a coveted MLB prospect: ...
Ozzie Guillen Says The White Sox Should Fire Him, Because He "Had A Great Team And They Played Like Shit"
This was a part of a droll press conference, in which Ozzie also said that the Marlins should be interested in him, because, "fuck it, they should be, I'm bad."...
Here's Video Of A Black Guy Hosing Down A Racist Lady In Motorized Wheelchair (NSFW)
Let this stand as a lesson that hurtful words and racial slurs have a tangible impact. Repercussions, if you will. In this case, they left a lady soaked and speeding down the block in shame....
In Which Will Carroll, At The Bottom Of The Sea, Hits Himself With A Hammer
To protect his brittle ribs and gooey lung center, Tony Romo will suit up with a flak jacket made of Kevlar. But if you're like me, you're wondering: how exactly does one use Kevlar to protect oneself? Well, let me tell you: you put it between you and the thing hitting you....