duan Page 144 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Confused Old Man On A Rascal Tries To Run Over Referee
A lively old man on a Rascal (also known as a wheelchair, mobility scooter, or Jazzy, depending on your local parlance) nearly took out a referee in a game between FC Oss and Almere City in the Netherlands on Friday night. Edwin van der Graaf reportedly handed out six yellow cards to Oss, the home...
Please Send Us Your Fantasy Football Correspondence With The Biggest Dickheads In Your League
Some of you may be familiar with our "Life Lessons" series, featuring rec-league amateur athletes who take their weekly kickball/softball/frisbee golf games waaay too seriously and, in turn, suck all the joy out of these activities for their teammates. These submissions were phenomenal, but I have a...
Derek Jeter And Tom Brady Were Awkward High School Boys Once
The SI Vault published 28 photographs of athletes from their high school yearbooks today. There are plenty of highlights—Brett Favre's mullet, Barry Bonds's jheri curl, and Mark McGwire's poignant senior quote, to name a few—but our personal favorites feature young, awkward Derek Jeter and young, aw...
Three-Time Kentucky Derby Winner Calvin Borel Busted For DWI In Indiana
The squeaky-voiced superhero hath fallen. Calvin Borel, the maybe-toothless jockey aboard 2007's Street Sense, 2009's Mine that Bird, and 2010's Super Saver, Kentucky Derby winners all, was arrested for DWI in Evansville, Indiana....
Spanish Soccer Club Goes The Sperm-Bank Porn Route To Sell Season Tickets (NSFW)
It's probably difficult to cultivate much of a season-ticket fan base when you're a soccer team in the Madrid suburbs. This is Getafe FC's burden. This is Getafe FC's blessing....
The Winner Of Iowa-Iowa State Gets This Awful Trophy
This is the new Cy-Hawk Trophy, given annually to the winner of the Iowa State-Iowa football game. It depicts an Iowa farmer presenting to his family some of the subsidy-fattened corn crop that he will soon sell to an Archer Daniels Midland processing plant in Keokuk, whereupon the corn will be conv...
Brock Lesnar Blowing Away Prairie Dogs Has Very Little To Do With Michael Vick
You may have seen some whining and bitching when this video of Brock Lesnar taking out prairie dogs with what appears to be the BFG 9000 from Doom hit the web. We don't really want to get into moral equivalency arguments about hunting and dogfighting and wanton slaughter of semi-sentient beings. B...
Dumb Corporate Beef Becomes Dumb Kobe Bryant-Brandon Jennings Beef
Under Armour has unleashed a new marketing campaign based around the idea that they're a "Change Agent" in the world of sports gear. The company even released a spoken-word promotional video that includes the sentence "Welcome to the revolution." It does a good job of subliminally positioning Under ...
Yes, Donna Shalala Went Bowling With The Rogue Miami Booster And Sebastian The Ibis
Once upon a time, Donna Shalala was a dignified cabinet member during the Clinton glory years. She was Secretary of Health and Human Services, the first female to miss the State of the Union as a designated survivor in case of an attack....
Alabama Sorority Girl Rap Is One Of Those Videos That Thinks It Is A Parody But Is Actually Just Really Embarrassing
The Alabama Sorority Girl rap is not the Andover rap, folks. It's not fraught with a damn thing. There's half a level of irony at play here, tops....
Just Like Magic, Two Middling Bears Running Backs Can Fuse Together To Form One Middling Bears Running Back
Spotted, last night at Soldier Field, a couple whose love is built on a foundation of middling former Bears running backs....
Care To Guess Who "The Super Hot, Super Gay, Super Conservative Christian NFL Player In Need Of A Beard" Is?
This exchange between someone in Massachusetts and someone in Illinois was brought to you by "Texts From Last Night." To each their own. (H/T several tipsters)...
Did Barack Obama Tell Aaron Rodgers, "I Just Wanna Get Fucked?" The White House Wants To Know
Not according to the official White House transcript. As the Packers visited the President to celebrate their Super Bowl victory, Obama's remarks regarding Rodgers were limited to calling his one of the greatest quarterbacking performances in history, and wondering if he could get traded to the Bear...
Be Cool Or Elmo Might Have To Stab Somebody
Last night, in Nassau Bay, Texas, a suburb of Houston, Joshua Knight made one very bad decision. He wore this Elmo shirt. The other bad decision, involving his stabbing a man who tried to break up a fight between Knight and a woman, is totally alleged....
Slow And Spectacular, Supertanker Plows Through Yacht
At this week's Red Bull Extreme Sailing Series off the English coast, a Norweigan oil tanker came up the Solent. One yacht barely got out of the way in time, it's sail getting caught on the anchor....
What's All This About Tim Tebow Needing Hormone Replacement Therapy?
I'm a little confused. I wouldn't have believed Tim Tebow would need hormone replacement therapy — he seems like a healthy young man in the prime of his life. Frankly, I would have been shocked if someone told me Tim Tebow needed hormone replacement therapy. But it's a funny funny world we live in, ...
Real Yo-Yo Trickster Impresses Every YouTube Viewer Everywhere
Once upon a time there was a guy who was not very good at yo-yo. He became very popular for it. But this guy here won the World Yo-Yo Championships with this routine, and it's about a billion times more boring. The lesson here is that if you get really really good at something really really pointl...
Ron Artest Put Away His Cellphone Last Night To Take In A Celine Dion Concert
Lakers forward/funnyman/dong-texter Ron "Metta World Peace" Artest has, with good reason, captured our imagination lately. Sometimes for good, sometimes for bad....
A Case Study In Why You Shouldn't Share An Email Address With Your Lovely Wife
Tipster Matthew D. recently shared details of what happened when a guy named Christian dropped out of their fantasy football league. All participants are from the PA/NJ/NY area but for Christian, who's from Seattle. "Only one of us has had the privilege of meeting him in person," Matthew pointed ou...
There's No Cryin' In Mutton-Bustin'
North Texas's world-renowned mutton-bustin' exhibition, the Mesquite Championship Rodeo, will soon be upon us. Which means Good Day Dallas, with whom we've had some fun before, had to visit the rodeo. And when they visit, everything goes wrong. Because, you see, these are four-year-olds riding waywa...