duan Page 157 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Happy New Year: There Is An American Ryder Cup Captain's Dick Shot For Sale
Somebody wake Dan Jenkins from his afternoon nap and fetch his slippers because there's a wayward PGA penis on the loose. Proud sportswriters, please test that 2011 resolution to ignore this type of tawdry checkbook journalism....

Tiger Mistress Continues Efforts To Profit From Being Tiger Mistress
Remember Loredana Jolie, former Playboy model and "self-appointed title as Mistress No. 15 with a tell-all, 'The Real Diary of Loredana Jolie'"? Yeah, me either, until I saw that picture again....

Your Winter Classic/Fiesta Bowl Open Thread
You got two choices tonight: An outdoor hockey game delayed by rain or what could possibly be a really, really, really bad football game. Or not....

NFL Punishes Jets For Exposed Body Part That Is Not Brett Favre's Penis
The league has fined the Jets $100,000 for Sal Alosi's wandering foot, which probably comes to something like $10,000 per inch. If that's the going rate, Brett Favre totally got railroaded....

The Best Brett Favre Story We've Read So Far, Slideshow Not Included
This should do it. Those lovable scamps at the Bleacher Report have written the most Fake Bleacher Report-style story on this whole ordeal. The third item, published this afternoon, titled "Jenn Sterger: Sterger Releases Brett Favre Photos to Deadspin."...

Man U, Birmingham Settle Draw With Funny Face Contest
United's Anderson and City's Barry Ferguson got involved in some extracurricular shenanigans en route to the Red Devils regaining the top spot in the Premier League. And, yes, their mothers were right: their faces froze that way....

Your "Roddy White Should Keep His Mouth Shut" MNF Open Thread
The Falcons can clinch the Dirty South with a win tonight, but the Saints will try to remind America they still have a good football team in 2010, too. It's the battle for Trent Dilfer's soul!...

Here's What Philadelphia Looked Like Around The Moment The Eagles/Vikings Game Was Supposed To Start
It's still an understatement to say I'm ashamed of the city in which I live because of this....

How About A Nice Story For Once?
Consider this a palate cleanser to usher you into Christmas. It's the story of a high school football player, and the total stranger he tucks into bed every night....

Even LeBron James's Birthday Is For Sale
You think celebrity shindigs just happen? Please. Corporate synergy requires at least 12 slides of PowerPoint....

Eagles Fans Celebrate Punt Return With Nudity
Eagles fans, folks. One promises to strip if DeSean Jackson wins the game; he's buck naked before Jackson hits the end zone. Another actually calls the return, and runs down the street topless....

Heat Streaks: And Now We'll End This Bizarre Day With A Half-Naked Fan Urinating (NSFW)
The Miami Heat organization was ridiculed earlier in the year for its dumb "Fan Up" campaign, which instructed the team's fans in proper behavior at American Airlines Arena. Then there's that man on the left....

Gregg Easterbrook Is Still A Putz
Here are four sentences from last week's Tuesday Morning Quarterback column (or as I like to call it, יום שלישי הקוורטרבק בוקר). They are remarkable in that they pile stupidly on top of one another like a litter of puppies....

Yankees Fan Of The Year Michael LaPayower Gets Paid
Big Yankees Fan Michael LaPayower will have you know that the videos you giggled at won him a $2,500 shopping spree at the Steiner Sports 1977-78 Yankees Show silent auction....

Bernard Hopkins Hopes You'll Watch Him Try To Beat A Kid Up Tonight
Bernard Hopkins fights some guy named Jean in Quebec tonight. "Some guy" means "WBC light-heavyweight champ Jean Pascal." Showtime coverage starts at 10 p.m....

Prepare For The Next Big Deadspin Shitstorm
Monday morning, Dec. 20, will mark the beginning of some not-so-relaxing days for a handful of current and former professional athletes, college coaches, and, of course, ESPN employees. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls: dying time's here....

Video Proof That Traveling Doesn't Exist Anymore
Where, you might ask, do our nation's NBA players get the idea that two steps is just a suggested limit? It starts early. PIVOT FOOT, YOU LITTLE CHEATER, NOT PIVOT FEET....

Of Course The Kid Who Cries Blood Is A Jets Fan
17-year-old Calvino Inman has spontaneously bled from his eyes and nose for the past two years. He also owns a Mark Sanchez jersey. Coincidence?...

Dutch Soccer Prank War Continues With The Old "Ball Made Out Of Cake" Trick
When last we saw the Dutch National Team eating lunch in a warehouse, Klaas-Jan Huntelaar wrecked Ricky Van Wolfswinkel with a ball and some conveniently placed air ducts. Revenge time....

Jon Heyman Is Confused About Why He Hates Jose Canseco
Sports Illustrated's Jon Heyman (the real one this time!) took to Twitter to chastise Canseco for, well, two contradictory reasons....