duan Page 157 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![[Update: Case Was Dismissed] Hulking MMA Fighter Terrorized By Petite TV Reporter](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/xnfqwmkwrtxhqbma34iw.jpg)
[Update: Case Was Dismissed] Hulking MMA Fighter Terrorized By Petite TV Reporter
[Update: Domestic-dispute charges were dismissed, according to the Albuquerque Journal.]...

Buzzer-Beater Punctuated By Announcer's Guttural Bellow
Minnesota HS hoops provides this week's buzzer-beater. But the real star is our play-by-play guy, who's either so excited that words fail him, or he happens to be fluent in dinosaur....

Joakim Noah Went Into A Steam Room With John Elway And Lived To Tell The Tale
During the Bulls annual "Circus Trip," two important events took place that may chart the course for the rest of the team's season: they shared Thanksgiving dinner together as a team, and Joakim Noah shared a hotel steam room with John Elway....

And Now A Cavalcade Of Dick Puns Related To A Singapore Water Polo Team's Swimsuits
The story: A water polo team were given a dressing down on Thursday for wearing trunks with an ‘inappropriate' likeness of their state flag. Oh it's so lovely to see this ball propped so high on this tee......

Here's A Spirited Defense Of "Colored" Tiger Woods Which Condemns Brett Favre, SI, Dumb Parents And America
Words beyond "offended but strangely mesmerized" escape me after reading this email that came in at 12:31 a.m. yesterday. Spent a day and a half debating whether I should even post it. You decide whether I made the right call....

Obese Cat Prince Chunk Is Dead. Long Live Obese Cat Prince Chunk.
Prince Chunk's road to stardom went something like this: Be really fat when your owner's South Jersey home gets foreclosed so she has to put you up for adoption and, well, that's all it takes to get Regis' attention....

High School Football Team Embarrass Selves For Your Viewing Pleasure
In the pantheon of humiliating sports-themed "Single Ladies" covers, this one is...at least top two. At least Decatur Central (Ind.) won $300 for their troubles. [Huffington Post]...

Now You Can Be A Stalkery Fan Of Any Deadspin Writer You Desire
So in addition to the site's own Facebook page, where horny, TOTALLYREAL ladies named Alexia randomly hook-up with eager commenters, you now can personalize your Deadspin allegiance based on each writer....

Bruce Pearl's Wife Rushes To His Defense With Ill-Advised Crucifixion Comparison
Bruce Pearl received an 8-game suspension for recruiting violations that he admitted to. To Brandy Pearl, that makes him just like Jesus....

Thanksgiving Stuffing: We Need Your High School Reunion And Black Friday Horror Stories
Since the end of this week will be pretty much kickoff Party Time In America, please help us fill your off-days with something good. You could win prizes and shit!...

Philly Started Tailgating Well Before The Full Moon Rose, So Giants/Eagles Oughta Be Fun
In honor of this evening's American football contest, allow me to present video of Michael Vick's ladyfriend talking about her manpiece along with some Giants highlights that I was able to procure from YouTube....

Van Damme Takes "Kickboxer" Sequel Pitch A Bit Too Literally
At a time when Steven Seagal has become an obese parody of himself on A&E, Jean-Claude Van Damme announces that he'll return to a kickboxing ring to evolve beyond a Hollywood life of drinking, "cocaine and all that shit."...

Beware Of Ohio State's "Brutus" Lurking At Gas Stations And Thad Matta's Exclamation Points
This haunting image comes courtesy of a reader named Andrew who sent this in with the creepy message "As always," most likely moments before he was dragged from the car and disemboweled in the parking lot....

Brett Favre's Dong-Phone Number, Jenn Sterger Legal Updates, And Other Things Of Note
It's been relatively quiet on the sexting front, but there's some movement afoot that suggests the end to this saga is just beyond the phallus-shaped horizon....

Fighter Wins Jiu-Jitsu Tournament Wearing Greenman Suit
Luke Summerfield obviously didn't think grappling was hard enough. He decided to wear a Greenman—or Redman—suit during a recent tournament in which he blindly grappled his way to first place. Surely an inspiration to spandex-body-suit wearers the world over....

Who Wants To Watch A Bunch Of Trick Plays?
Complex has a gallery of the top 50 trick plays in football history, or at least in that part of football history currently available on YouTube. There are some familiar ones, and there are others, like this one, you may have missed....

Botanical Garden Dong The Latest In Our Extensive Collection
We've seen a lot of pseudodong in our day, but it's about time we went green. From the New York Botanical Garden comes this fine phallic specimen....

Here's Video Of Lou Holtz Dressing A Young Blonde Intern Down With Mean Words
Apparently, if you're not into sports, you're just jerking Lou Holtz around. That's what he said....

Fear The Friend Who Makes You Eat Your Beard
Harvey Westmoreland and his bro Joe were always cool with Troy Hold and James Hill. But then they got into a fight about a lawnmower in Lawrenceburg, Ky. I'll let Harvey take it from here....

Ines Sainz And Her World Famous Gumper Rumpy Poop Carriage Caught In The Wild In Dallas
As you may know, the Mexican TV reporter with the POM-bottle backside is being heavily promoted by her PR company for the Pacquiao fight. The very patient Michael Rand interviewed and transcribed her thoughts on, oh, stuff....