duan Page 167 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Soccer-Playing Penguins Adorable, Terrible At Soccer
An aquarium in South Korea — aka Good Korea — is preparing for the World Cup by dressing up its penguins and making them play soccer. Different cultures are hilarious....
Cover-Band Drummer Is Far Too Intense For A Cover-Band Drummer
Click to view If there's one thing more embarrassing than being in a cover band that wears matching gold blazers, it's being the overly intense drummer for a cover band that wears matching gold blazers. Sharp-dressed men, indeed. H/T Brad....
Pittsburgh Seeks Brave, Able-Bodied Young People For Controlled Toilet Flushing
Are you over 18 and a fan of coordinated, group activities? The Pittsburgh Penguins would like 250 "students" to flush all the toilets at the newly constructed Consol Energy Center. In other news, Western Pennsylvania now runs on toilet news....
Chicago Faces Epidemic Of Jersey-Wearing Statues
It is official: Chicago is a hockey town. If the Michael Jordan statue is wearing Hawks threads, it's only a matter of time before Mayor Daley is mispronouncing players' names and crudely dyeing the city's fountain waters red. Oh wait....
Where Not To Go This Vacation Season
SeaWorld has two pregnant Orcas; both carrying the children of Tilikum, who put the killer in Killer Whale....
Next Week Is Deadspin's Inaugural Blood Week: Submit A Story, Please
Yes, it's time for another go at a theme week for this site. Starting Tuesday, we'll be talking about all things bloody in sports, culminating with Pat Jordan driving out to Los Angeles to punch Sarah Silverman....
Oh. Bye.
Have a good vampirey weekend everybody. I'll be back tomorrow dicking around because everyone else deserves a day off. Including you. So stop by only if necessary. And God bless The Starter Wife....
Mariners Fan Loses Bet, Dignity
Last weekend, the Padres and Mariners faced off at Safeco Field. San Diego took two of three, and one fellow on the wrong end of a bet produced this oddly whisper-filled love letter to the Padres. H/T Theodore Donald Kerabatsos....
Yankees Fans Pull Ahead In Basebrawl Standings
Ah, spring. When a young man's fancy turns to getting loaded and fighting other young men at a sporting event. This video, taken at a recent Rays-Yankees game covers all the hits: a brief brawl, people shouting "YouTube," and finger-pointing galore....
Aural Secs: David Ortiz's 30-Second Tater Trot Explained With Music
In honor of David Ortiz's Roger Bannister moment last night, an Aural Secs is in order. Unlike frequent Aural Secs subject Usain Bolt, Ortiz is quite slow, so we're going with the final chord in "A Day In The Life."...
Relive 40 Years Of Absurd, Borderline Racist World Cup Mascots
Fresh off the fun of the 2012 Olympic Mascot unveiling, our friends at Fast Company have put together a compendium of some of the most ridiculous World Cup Mascots. What's the word for when a subset propagates its own stereotypes?...
Will The Suns Go Gently Into That Good Night?
Or will they rage, rage against the seemingly inevitable Celtic/Lakers rematch that, while we're all kind of sick of both teams, is probably the best matchup remaining?...
Former Basketball Player Runs For Congress, Crazily
Remember Kevin Millen? The ex-Georgetown hoopster who stalked coach John Thompson and ended up getting two years' probation and a court order to stay away from D.C.? He's running for Congress on a tin-foil-hat platform, with a delightfully lo-fi web site....
Watch Nike's Newest Bloated, Overwrought, Meta-Referential But Sorta Awesome World Cup Commercial
In case you haven't noticed, soccer's been popping up around here with alarming frequency. It's because of the World Cup, mostly. The World Cup is sort of a big deal, like the World Baseball Classic, but exciting....
Woody Paige Wants You To Call A Phone Sex Line
Woody Paige, Around The Horn's resident jester, likes to have a little fun on the show with his trusty chalkboard. Today's message: "Advertise Here: 1-800-555-HORN." What do you get when you call? A message from Paige? A phone-sex line? Could be anything....
It's Time For Some Tiger Woods Mistress News
This is not one of Tiger Woods's mistresses. She's just a young lass with a healthy sense of humor propping her hiney up against a painting. "Crouching lady, Tiger banging," if you will. But there's other Tiger Woods mistress news....
Obvious, Yet Cringe-Inducing Hockey Article Of The Week
The Globe and Mail's James Mirtle wrote a piece this weekend on the potentially catastrophic effects of mouth injuries in the NHL and the "walk-it-off" culture surrounding them. Who's ready to grimace and suck their teeth in fear?...
ESPN Switches To "Future Hall of Famers"-Based Scoring System
There you have it. And please don't turn the comments into a RoFlaWa.*...
Buzz Bissinger's Twitter Tirade Makes Him All The More Lovable
Deadspin's best frenemy and best-selling author is, in fact, the man behind the infamous Buzz Bissinger Twitter account, which has been littered with highly entertaining, vituperative tweet spats ....
Nobody's Working Harder For The Weekend Than This Guy
The weekend is upon us. Tonight there will be a hockey match of some sort and tomorrow there will be all sorts of fun. Let's end the week on a light note, shall we?...