duan Page 171 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Terrified Children Still Being Thrown, Taunted By Angry Sheep
It's been a while since we've had a quality bustin' incident featured here, but thankfully the heartless marketing team of the Colorado Mammoth's professional lacrosse organization recently let the mighty sheep embarrass some over-matched tots during halftime. Mutton victorious....
And Joe Lunardi Re-Enters Cryopreservation
As you enjoy the NCAA selection show and prepare to enter your own office pool, one of our readers shares a co-worker's concept of a bracket that boggles the mind....
One Of Ben Roethlisberger's "Bitches" Speaks Up
Ben Roethlisberger's still getting hassled over that innocent Thursday night of bar hopping in Milledgeville, Ga. and now there are more people willing to say damning things about him since he's apparently not very nice to everyone....
Johnny Bench: On Drugs Or Just Old And Batty?
The Score did an interview with the former Reds catcher and, for the first minute, he appears disoriented in a way that's unbecoming of Hall Of Fame catcher, but thoroughly enjoyable for those of us who enjoy people babbling aimlessly....
Mark Sanchez Is <em>The</em> Future Of Home Entertainment
This photo is begging for some mischievous editing. Or maybe just hilarious captions. Please note that jokes about his future being bright enough to warrant wearing sunglasses will be ignored....
Donavon Mcnabb Traded To San Fransisco; Donovan McNabb Still On Eagles
The pic above is from this website, which posted the phony McNabb trade rumor and has confused plenty of people, including poor Michael Smith, who was credited with breaking the phantom story this morning....
RSS Readers Will Not Get To See Where This Telestrator Vagina Came From
Yes, yes — I know. Those of you reading this on RSS will probably only get a portion of this message and it will leave you wondering, "Hey, what the crap happened to the full Deadspin feed, those greedy basta..."...
Cranky Old Sportscaster Unloads On Congress, Curling
Beano Cook is an American treasure, and nearly 66% of you agreed with that assessment about two years ago. From his rapier wit to his extensive knowledge of the game, Cook deserves our respect. But, let's have some fun instead....
Academy Awards To Honor Sandra Bullock And Matt Damon For Ending Racism
Tonight's Academy Awards promise to be a delightful several hours of programming. Following in the tradition of classic cinema like Rocky, Chariots of Fire, and The Sixth Man, sports movies are once again strong contenders for major awards....
Shaun White Is On Fire
Hot off his gold medal snowboarding effort in Vancouver, Shaun White is like, feelin' it maaaaan. He's landed in snow, and now he's landing on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine....
Big Trouble For Big Ben
One sexual assault allegation can be written off as a fluke crazy lady. But two? Do two make for a coincidence? A pattern? I'm asking, because I honestly don't know....
A Children's Treasury Of Mascots Eating People
Mascots are running wild at our sporting events, both home and abroad. Who will put a stop to the madness? And why won't the music coordinators at these arenas use Temple of the Dog in place of Weird Al?...
Meet Your 14-Year-Old Nephew's New Favorite Hockey Player
In the tradition of legendary athletic heroes like Johnny Dickshot, Jung Bong, and Pete LaCock, comes NHL rookie and object of affection for snickering school boys everywhere—Columbus Blue Jacket Grant Clitsome....
Strasburg Will Start The Season In The Minors For Reasons That Have Nothing At All To Do With Money, No Sir
It seems more and more likely that Stephen Strasburg will spend his April riding buses around the Carolina League, and this of course has everything to do with "his seasoning" and nothing whatsoever to do with saving money. Right....
Zinedine Zidane: Still Not Sorry About That Headbutt
Now that the Olympics are over it's time to concentrate on the next big international sporting event, the World Cup. So let's start by dredging up the last one and the headbutt that launched a thousand internet gags....
Canada Wins, But So Do You
Well, shit. How are you feeling? Gut punched? Broken? Just wanting to go to sleep and never wake up? Embrace it. It's a wonderful thing....
Let's End The Day By Watching An Arsenal Player Break His Leg
Yeah, this is bad. Aaron Ramsey's right ankle pretty much disintegrates right before your eyes after being taken out by "X-rated Ryan Shawcross" whatever that means....
Sorry, ESPN, But Your Audience Does Not Want To Read About Florida QB's Dad's Prostate Cancer, Apparently
Granted, this was an odd story to have on the front page of ESPN, but it certainly didn't warrant the anonymous, angry hordes completely knee-capping the thing in the cruelest ways possible....
You're With Me, Meme
Flip to page 195 of this month's GQ. You'll find a spread in which everyone's favorite Bermanism appears atop Topher Grace's crotch. And thus "You're With Me, Leather" becomes one of many viral sensations to spread to smarmy Hollywood wang....
Vonn Crashes (Again) And Other Things You Already Know, But NBC Will Pretend You Didn't: Open Thread
So that happened, but it's being shown again tonight on NBC, so feign appropriate levels of disappointment to give support to NBC's advertising sponsors. It's the least you can do....