duan Page 170 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Children's Treasury Of Mascots Eating People
Mascots are running wild at our sporting events, both home and abroad. Who will put a stop to the madness? And why won't the music coordinators at these arenas use Temple of the Dog in place of Weird Al?...
Meet Your 14-Year-Old Nephew's New Favorite Hockey Player
In the tradition of legendary athletic heroes like Johnny Dickshot, Jung Bong, and Pete LaCock, comes NHL rookie and object of affection for snickering school boys everywhere—Columbus Blue Jacket Grant Clitsome....
Strasburg Will Start The Season In The Minors For Reasons That Have Nothing At All To Do With Money, No Sir
It seems more and more likely that Stephen Strasburg will spend his April riding buses around the Carolina League, and this of course has everything to do with "his seasoning" and nothing whatsoever to do with saving money. Right....
Zinedine Zidane: Still Not Sorry About That Headbutt
Now that the Olympics are over it's time to concentrate on the next big international sporting event, the World Cup. So let's start by dredging up the last one and the headbutt that launched a thousand internet gags....
Canada Wins, But So Do You
Well, shit. How are you feeling? Gut punched? Broken? Just wanting to go to sleep and never wake up? Embrace it. It's a wonderful thing....
Let's End The Day By Watching An Arsenal Player Break His Leg
Yeah, this is bad. Aaron Ramsey's right ankle pretty much disintegrates right before your eyes after being taken out by "X-rated Ryan Shawcross" whatever that means....
Sorry, ESPN, But Your Audience Does Not Want To Read About Florida QB's Dad's Prostate Cancer, Apparently
Granted, this was an odd story to have on the front page of ESPN, but it certainly didn't warrant the anonymous, angry hordes completely knee-capping the thing in the cruelest ways possible....
You're With Me, Meme
Flip to page 195 of this month's GQ. You'll find a spread in which everyone's favorite Bermanism appears atop Topher Grace's crotch. And thus "You're With Me, Leather" becomes one of many viral sensations to spread to smarmy Hollywood wang....
Vonn Crashes (Again) And Other Things You Already Know, But NBC Will Pretend You Didn't: Open Thread
So that happened, but it's being shown again tonight on NBC, so feign appropriate levels of disappointment to give support to NBC's advertising sponsors. It's the least you can do....
With One Raised Digit, Tom Brokaw Inadvertently Expresses NBC's Contempt For You: Open Thread
Here's Brokaw — NBC mascot, author of The Bestest Generation Ever, bewildered old man who occasionally wanders onto the Olympics set — gesturing during a fireside après-ski. Perfect. The network is basically an old guy giving you the finger, anyway....
Always Tinkering, The Germans Have Decided Sledding Could Use More Nudity
It's tough to find one activity these days that isn't sullied by some lecherous individual pushing the "dude, this would be so much better naked" idea, and in Lower Saxony they've decided that activity should be sledding. (NSFW)...
Boner Stabone Is Missing At The Olympics
If you find yourself in and around Vancouver for tonight's epic US/Canada matchup, do be on the lookout for Mike Seaver's best bud. His friends and family are very worried....
Deion Sanders and the Mystery of the Exchanged Benjamin
From Brooks comes this photo from last summer of Deion Sanders receiving $100 during a youth football game in Bedford, Texas. Sanders was there coaching his son's team, the awesomely-named 'Truth Prime'. So what was the money for?...
Gary Coleman Would Not Like To Apologize For His Actions
In other scandal-ridden relationship news, Gary Coleman overcompensates for his short stature by telling "The Insider" round table to promptly go fuck themselves....
Lindsey Vonn Crashes, And Other Things You Already Know But NBC Will Pretend You Didn't: Open Thread
Cheese-legged Lindsey Vonn lost her right ski and crashed in the slalom portion of the super-combined. Germany's Maria Riesch took gold, and Julia Mancuso won silver. (But shhhh, don't tell anyone.)...
Your Tape-Delaympics Open Thread
Topics for discussion: Speedskating, the mentally ill man "infatuated" with Joe Biden who got within meters of the vice president at the Opening Ceremony, Rick Reilly on curling (forget Plaschke; this was the most inevitable column of the Olympics), double-corking....
Lindsey Jacobellis DQ'd, And Other Things You Already Know But NBC Will Pretend You Didn't: Open Thread
People without access to the internet or cable television or the outside world in general don't know it yet, but snowboarder Lindsey Jacobellis drifted off course today and lost her chance at what Tom Brokaw couldn't wait to call "redemption."...
Your Olympics Tape-Delayapalooza Open Thread
Topics for discussion: figure skating, Rick Reilly's Canada jokes, Bruce Arthur's response, snowboarding, speedskating, Lindsey Vonn's shin (and the Jarlsberg she wraps it in), and the men's downhill finals, in which latter event I like Bode Miller's shot at bronze....
Even If You're Alone, At Least You're Not Marrying La La
La La Vazquez, the shrinking violet who whipped Mavericks fans into a racist frenzy, is making an honest man of Carmelo Anthony....
NBA Dunk Contest: Open Thread
Here's where you can watch Nate Robinson and Shannon Brown battle it out for who can make the most dunks that make other NBA players stomp feet and throw towels, all with canned expressions of astonishment. [NBA]...