dumb Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Toronto Maple Leafs are about to do something stupid
The rest of the employees of the Springfield Power Plant gathering around the control center of Sector 7-G, with Lenny narrating for everyone the normal practice, “Get ready everyone, he’s about to do something stupid…” is what the NHL is now, gathering around The Six and wondering just what the Tor...
FIFA wants to promote women’s soccer — as long as there’s money in it
“FIFA is a non-profit organization” is one of the biggest oxymorons in the world. You don’t get a good portion of the organization indicted for corruption if the body is mainly focused on merely the health of the sport and building it from the bottom up. Gianni Infantino’s latest episode of throwing...
When did the NBA playoffs become the NHL playoffs?
The first round of the NBA playoffs usually isn’t all that good, which doesn’t stop people from complaining about it. The difference between the top seeds and lower seeds is large enough that those series should result in nothing more than dress rehearsals for the true powers and the later rounds. W...
You can’t lose the Draymond flips his wig game
We’ve known this isn’t a vintage Golden State Warriors team. They kept turning into the Dallas Mavericks/wildebeests whenever on the road, they had to reshuffle the roster halfway through the season, their defense has consistently been of Cottonelle strength. It wasn’t so much that they were assurin...
TAKE THE QUIZ! Here's an 'Elite Eight' trivia questions for NCAA Tourney's opening day
Welcome, welcome. Come on, sit down — you know you’re not leaving your couch for the next four days. The first game tips off in a few hours, which gives you some time to test your Men’s March Madness knowledge. Are you up for the task? We have assembled an “Elite” list of eight questions that you ma...
After Duke loss, predictable silence from the Jalen Johnson critics
Duke came back from a 12-point deficit on Saturday to take Louisville to overtime, but Cardinals senior Carlik Jones scored seven of his 25 points in the extra session, and the Cardinals went on to an 80-73 victory at Cameron Indoor Stadium, snapping the Blue Devils’ four-game winning streak and dea...
Herschel Walker thinks we should give his former boss Trump a mulligan
Herschel Walker, the 1980 Heisman Trophy winner and reason for the 1990s Cowboys dynasty after Dallas traded him to Minnesota for a massive haul, has an idea. It’s not a good idea, or a remotely plausible idea, but it’s an idea....
Actually, it's LeBron who's the G.O.A.T.
I want to state right at the top I utterly abhor this debate. ...
Baseball Bozo Zach Plesac Lists All The Rules He Broke, Then Accuses The Media of 'Mistreatment'
“The last thing I would want to do is put anyone at risk,” Cleveland Indians pitcher Zach Plesac says, looking directly into the camera while driving down a city street....
No One Is Cheering Against Sports, Idiots
With alarming spikes in COVID-19 erupting all across America, I had hoped that the “sportswriters are cheering against sports!” mouth-breathers on social media had slunk back from whence they came. Alas, yesterday sports talk radio host Danny Kannell, in the tradition of great minds like Clay Travis...
Matt Dumba Spoke From His Heart, and the NHL Left Him Out to Dry
Update: Ryan Reaves reversed course and kneeled for the anthem before Vegas’s game against Dallas, along with Robin Lehner, Tyler Seguin, and Jason Dickinson....
Nostalgia Reaches Its Nadir
Oh, come on. Selective memory is a hell of a thing....
Zack Wheeler Demolished The Phillies In A Variety Of Ways
Baseball’s reliance on increasingly advanced stats can be alienating for those who don’t spend a large chunk of their summers deep in FanGraphs databases and Statcast k-holes. But sometimes, all you need is to look at a box score and see one player going buckwild to understand what happened....
Sergio Ramos May Have Earned Himself A Suspension With His Big, Dumb Mouth
When you’re part of a top European soccer club, it’s probably easy to forget that the rules, at least in theory, apply to you as well. Whether that’s Manchester City wiping their collective asses with the Financial Fair Play regulations, or Barcelona players gleefully indulging in tapping up (the eq...
High School Whose Students Taunted Predominantly Black School With Trump Flag Dropped Out Of MLK Day Tourney
Students from Jordan High School (Minn.) brought a Trump 2020 flag to a boys basketball game against Minneapolis Roosevelt, a predominantly black school that has been staying in the locker room during the national anthem, last week. The school caught a lot of shit for the fans’ flag and promised to ...
Matt Dumba Might Be Out For The Year Because He Threw A Bad Punch
Minnesota Wild defenseman Matt Dumba, a 24-year-old point producer who was shaping up to have a career-best year through his first 32 games of this season, instead hasn’t played for the Wild since a Dec. 15 contest against the Calgary Flames. That’s when Dumba had to leave the game after just one pe...
High School Students Bring Trump 2020 Flag To Basketball Game Against Predominantly Black School
In an effort to taunt the visiting team, a group of Minnesota high school students brought a Trump 2020 flag to a boys basketball game Tuesday night. Considering that the road team, Minneapolis Roosevelt High School, has a predominantly black student body and has been staying in the locker room duri...
Michael Wilbon: LeBron Should Play For The Wizards So He Can Be Like Jeff Bezos<em></em>
Michael Wilbon, a grumbly shithead who’s spent the better part of this millennium actively torching his own hard-won relevance, has now weighed in on LeBron James’s impending free agency. You may be surprised to learn that Wilbon—who has made it clear multiple times that he thinks D.C. is a “terribl...
Report: Dumb Beer Ad Phrase Not Specifically Banned From The Masters
The dumb beer ad phrase, a corporate slogan the utterance of which will for sure get you kicked out of my household, even if you are my own mother, may not have actually been banned at this year’s Masters, according to an investigation by Dan Wetzel and Jay Busbee of Yahoo Sports:...
Screeching Moron Formerly In Charge Of U.S. Soccer Scouting Offers Braindead Anti-Messi Take
You probably aren’t familiar with Thomas Rongen, and we really wish we didn’t feel compelled to inform you of his existence. But when a gaping asshole like this has somehow amassed real, serious power at the highest levels of U.S. Soccer, and demonstrates his gross incompetence for his position in t...