e Page 7199 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"Motherfuckin' Shit! Take Your Ass Home!" Or, Why The Baltimore Orioles Matter
The best night of the 2011 baseball season in Baltimore was the final one. For once, for the first time in years, the whole country was watching. And what it saw was a thing of joy. There were the Boston Red Sox, all $161 million worth of them, one out away from a 3-2 victory and, at worst, a one-ga...
FIU Survives The Isiah Thomas Era
Florida International fired Isiah Thomas as head coach today, after three seasons in which the Golden Panthers won 7, 11, and 8 games. On the bright side, there have been no major lawsuits or violations. They have not become the laughingstock of college hoops. The program still exists. I would call ...
The Restorative Power Of The Chick-Fil-A Banana Pudding Milkshake
I've had a bad week. Not just a normal bad week, where you stub your toe and your DVR forgets to record Best Sex Ever or something like that. I mean, a legitimate bad week, where your loved ones are hospitalized and you crash your car into an illegal immigrant while going TO the hospital to visit yo...
Augusta Has Become Impossible Over The Years: A Pretty Graphic Explaining The Design Changes
Co. Design has as their infographic of the day a sharp poster explaining how Augusta has changed since the first Masters in 1934. So verdant! [Co. Design]...
Swansea Played The Prettiest Soccer Game Of The Year (And Lost)
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...
Cockblocked By The SDSU Aztec!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Amateur Hour For Drunks: A Dispatch From Opening Day In America
(This article was originally published at DesigNate Robertson. Photos by the author.)...
Rory McIlroy Drops Ball, Injures His Own, Amuses Golf Channel Commentators
Golf Channel analysts couldn't come up with enough puns to joke about an unfortunate incident this morning at Augusta when Rory McIlroy couldn't snatch a ball tossed to him by his caddy and it resulted in a bit of pain down south. It didn't seem to hurt his golf play, though—his front nine today h...
Dead Letters: "If Melo Hates Jews, OK, That's His Choice"
Subject: Melo’s Hitler Mustache...
Here Is A Photo Of Rob Gronkowski Lying On A Bed With Some Cats
And it was sent to us by a reader who asked us not to use his name. That reader also passed along a little story to provide some context:...
0% Of Cubs Fans Polled Expect Their Team To Make The Playoffs
Cubs fans are already despondent after yesterday's 2-1 loss to the Nationals. In other words, they're gotten an early jump on behaving like Cubs fans. Here's a poll from Chicago news station CLTV aired last evening, in which nary a single believer in a Cubs postseason could be found. Obviously, t...
The Wonderlic Test Proves The NFL Is Stupid
Here is an indisputable fact, one of the very few that exist surrounding the mysterious and dreaded Wonderlic Test: the Wonderlic is not meant for football. Over 75 years, only a few thousand of the more than a hundred million test takers have been NFL hopefuls. It is a test of problem solving and c...
Pirates Fan Sleeps His Way Through Opening Day
Yesterday was the start of a new season of baseball in Pittsburgh, and that means the promise of another 90-loss summer. The fan in the yellow hat just over the left shoulder of Phillies catcher Carlos Ruiz just couldn't contain his excitement....
John Tortorella Is Pissed Off At Pittsburgh And "Their Two Whining Stars"
Late in last night's Penguins win, defenseman Brooks Orpik laid a knee-on-knee hit on the Rangers' Derek Stepan. Stepan was able to leave the ice under his own power, but Torts was not a happy man after the game....
This Is What Happens When You Accuse A Notre Dame Football Player Of Sexually Assaulting You
Last week, the National Catholic Reporter published a lengthy piece on reported sexual assaults at Notre Dame. Its fulcrum is the case involving Lizzy Seeberg, a 19-year-old freshman at nearby St. Mary's College who committed suicide in September 2010, just 10 days after she was allegedly sexually a...
Jeffrey Loria Had A Marlins Park Cake With Swarovski Crystals And A Working Retractable Roof
After trotting out Muhammad Ali like a show pony, the Marlins owner welcomed friends and colleagues to his luxury suite on opening night with this cake: a custom made replica of Marlins Park. That bigass logo? It's 3,600 crystals. Probably worth more than your life. I swear to god, this thing better...
Of All The Signs Baseball Season Has Arrived, This Is The Best Damn One
Vin Scully launched his 63rd season behind the mic for the Dodgers yesterday, calling Los Angeles' 5-3 win over the Padres and looking damn good while doing it. While Scully will work fewer games this season, his consistent presence in the late hours (for those of us on the east coast) is like a wa...
Better Know An Umpire: Brian Gorman
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year....
Bobby Petrino Admits Having "Inappropriate Relationship," Placed On Paid Administrative Leave
University of Arkansas football coach Bobby Petrino has been placed on paid administrative leave by the university, after he failed to disclose that 25-year-old Jessica Dorrell, a recent hire to the football staff, was his motorcycle companion during last Sunday's crash that put him in a neck brace....
Steve Buscemi Is Producing A Documentary On An Indiana High School Basketball Team
Medora High School has one of the smallest student bodies in the state of Indiana—two years ago, the senior class had just 16 students—and the win/loss record of its boys' basketball team suffers as a result. (A lot.) Yet, in 2009, the team's continued perseverance and tenacity caught the attention ...