edm Page 25 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Linus Omark's Flashy First NHL Goal Drew A "Youngblood" Comparison
Linus Omark played his first NHL game Friday. And in that first game, he not only took a penalty shot, but he pulled a spin-o-rama and scored the game-winning penalty shot....

Ducks Forward's Empty-Netter Seals Game (For The Oilers)
Anaheim's Corey Perry was just trying to set up a teammate in front of the net as the clocked ticked down. Instead, he ended up committing one of the biggest goofs in recent memory....

Half-Headed Man Takes World's Most Bizarre Mugshot
There's clearly something off with this man's skull. As the profile shot reveals, it's that he's missing most of it....

Sean Avery And The Differences In Hockey Fights
The dichotomy of hockey fighting was made more apparent than usual yesterday. In one, John Erskine and Eric Boulton valiantly pummeled each other. In the other, Sean Avery acted like an asshole, sucker-punched a guy, and started a brawl....

Scantily Clad Women Have No Place On The Ice Unless They're Figure Skating
Some 26-year-old Edmonton woman has started an online petition to rally opposition to the Oilers having cheerleaders. As of this morning, 509 people had signed. Five-hundred and nine people who probably want to bring prohibition back....

Here's A Waving Otter To Clear Your Heads Of Dong For The Weekend
Aww, he thinks he's people. Go here for more dong-free sweetness....

Atlanta Braves Fans Are Filthier Than The Guys Using The John In Penn Station, Science Proves
"Only about two-thirds of the men observed washed their hands after using the restroom at Turner Field — the lowest rate for any of the locations cited in the observational study and survey on the hand-washing habits of Americans."...

Science Wins Again: Heavy Drinkers Live Longer
Hey teetotalers: not only are you a drag, you're going to die younger. Live slow, die fast, jerks....

MLB Confidential Update: Baseball Still Searching For Leaker, Baseball Tells Me
Just got off the phone with Pat Courtney, MLB's senior vice president of public relations, to find out if there's any progress in their search for the devilish individual who provided us with all those documents. It was a short conversation....

Download Those MLB Financial Statements For Your Own Enjoyment
By popular demand, here are those MLB documents as PDF files: Pittsburgh Pirates; Pirates again; Florida Marlins; Tampa Bay Rays; Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim; and Seattle Mariners. The Rangers' Excel files can be downloaded here and here. Enjoy....

MLB Confidential, Part 3: Texas Rangers
Our final document — at least for now — belongs to the Texas Rangers. Out of all the financial statements we've seen, it offers maybe the fullest picture of owning a team....

MLB Confidential, Part 2: Seattle Mariners
You've seen the first round of financial statements. Now take a look inside the Mariners' books....

MLB Confidential: The Financial Documents Baseball Doesn't Want You To See, Part 1
We've obtained financial statements for a number of baseball teams — containing perhaps some of the most closely guarded information in sports — and they offer a rare glimpse at how MLB franchises do brisk business in the modern era....

Floyd Mayweather + Don King + Las Vegas = Pictures of Cash Money
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Lucky Underwear Will Save Us All
Science has finally proven that Jason Giambi's slump-busting thong is not weird, but a legitimate form of slump-busting. Thank you, science, for making us all picture Jason Giambi in a thong again. [Well]...

Try, Try Again
The Edmonton Journal hits us with the elusive double-typo headline, leaving us with something that can be interpreted in a number of ways; all of them juvenile, all of them hilarious. [via Puck Daddy]...

Science: Skateboarders Get Measurably Gnarlier In The Presence Of Pretty Ladies
Researchers measured skateboarders after every move, and "consistent with predictions, the young men had higher testosterone levels and took bigger risks when good-looking women were watching." [Miller-McCune]...

Incompetent Old People Hilariously Debate Merits Of MMA Fights
The State of New York will close for business next week unless its comically inept legislature can pass a balanced budget. (It was due April 1.) Instead, they decided to spend the day arguing about MMA....with predictably zany results....

Blood Writes: "Cow crushed my thumb" (WARNING: STUPENDOUSLY GROSS)
About two months ago I was working at one of the farms at Ohio State and a cow went bat shit crazy crashing through one of the gates....

The Freak-Out Over LeBron's Elbow Begins Now
Ball in Europe, citing a source close to the Cavs: "Apparently, the damage is enough that the right arm of King James ... is having great difficulty in carrying anything heavier than a basketball." The hopes of a city, for instance. [BallinEurope.com]...