eh Page 153 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Paterno Family: "Joe Paterno Did Not Know That Jerry Sandusky Was A Pedophile"
Lots of folks at Penn State are no doubt quaking at the thought of what might be in former FBI director Louis Freeh's investigative report that's scheduled to be released Thursday morning. No one, however, seems more concerned than the family of Joe Paterno....

Bryce Harper Has A Bat Rack In The Trunk Of His Customized Mercedes-Benz
From the Washington Post comes a visual tour through Bryce Harper's customized Mercedes-Benz AMG. It's a snazzy car, but not nearly as ostentatious as some other customized vehicles that we've seen from athletes in the past. Although Harper gets plenty of points for subtlety, that doesn't mean that...

Get Ready For A Drug-Induced Minor League Home Run Derby
If you have five minutes to kill, watch this thing. It's a Home Run Derby, except I don't think you are supposed to hit home runs. Instead they are putting some kind of insane obstacle course or, like, a Dave and Buster's restaurant on the field....

Baseball Writers Of America: "It's Hot"
A little advice to aspring sports writers: if it's hot at the baseball game you're covering, mention it in the lead. No matter what—even if the heat affected both teams equally, or not at all—don't let three paragraphs go by without pointing out how hot it was. You were there. It was hot. The people...

Freeh Investigation Report Said To Be "Tough On Paterno"
According to ESPN The Magazine's Don Van Natta, Jr., The Freeh report should be released as soon as next week. It is expected to be bad for Joe Paterno....

Bryce Harper Will Train To Become A Firefighter In The Offseason So He'll "Have Something To Fall Back On"
Once upon a time, MLB players held jobs in the offseason. The good ones owned local businesses—car dealerships and the like—the not-so-good ones dug graves. But now that the owners and the union have thoroughly streamlined the process of separating you from your money, players don't need jobs in the...

Denver Brewery Makes Clown Question Bro Beer, Bryce Harper Suggests Donating Proceeds To Fund For Daughter Of Slain Officer
Fine, so it was someone in Bryce Harper's stable of handlers, but still, it's a nice sentiment. "That's a clown question, bro" has taken on a life of it's own and a Denver brewery named a beer using the famous retort to join in on all the fun just as Harper was in town to play the Rockies....

Rufus The Pigeon-Scaring Hawk At Wimbledon Has Gone Missing, Foul Play Suspected
Disturbing news out of Wimbledon today: a hawk named Rufus, who has been used to scare away pigeons and other small, distracting birds from the courts at the All England Club, was stolen early Friday morning. He was in his cage, in a car parked on a private driveway in Wimbledon. The car's rear win...

Report: Investigators Now Looking Into How Administrators Disciplined Penn State Football Players
We've mentioned how the Jerry Sandusky verdict is only the beginning for Penn State. There are still the ongoing investigations by the feds and by former FBI director Louis Freeh—hired by the Board of Trustees to do an independent inquiry—that could implicate what role, if any, university officials ...

How To Build A 21st-Century Bullpen With Failed Hitting Prospects And A Radar Gun
Earlier this month, Sean Doolittle made his major-league debut for the Oakland Athletics. It wasn't an obviously momentous event: The left-hander took the mound with two outs in the top of the fifth, with the A's trailing Texas 5-0. He struck out Nelson Cruz to end the inning, then pitched a perfect...

There's Some Tim Lincecum Voodoo Going On At The Marlins' Bobblehead Museum
We've already highlighted the horrors of Marlins Park's Bobblehead Museum, featuring a moving glass case that keeps the heads bobbling...ever bobbling. But there, in some severed ceramic, may lie the answer to Tim Lincecum's struggles....

ESPN Has Found Its New Craig James
We already knew that laughable Senate "candidate" Craig James would not be returning to ESPN—even though he's not going away, apparently—but we didn't know who'd be replacing him as part of the network's Thursday night college football telecast, aside from filling other WWL-related analysis duties. ...

A Sad English Penis Could Not Stop Italy From Advancing
Pirlo's Panenka-esque chip turned the tide. The Ashleys' gaffes set the table. But it was Alessandro Diamanti, going left and going low, that sent Italy through to the semis over the broken hearts of the overachieving Three Lions....

Meet Timur Bekmambetov, The Loony Madman Behind <em>Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter</em>
Timur Bekmambetov, the director of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, might be insane. I don't mean that as an insult. The man behind Night Watch, Day Watch, and Wanted isn't interested in nuance or character or plot or basic human emotions. Watching his movies, you get the sense that he doesn't spend...

Craig James Not Planning To Go Away
This is not the end, my only friend. Craig James lost in the Texas Senate primary, lost badly and embarrassingly, and we went and allowed ourselves to hope that maybe we wouldn't have to hear about him for a while. Ha! Craig James doesn't slink off that easily....

Harry Reid To Reporter: "That's A Clown Question, Bro"
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is a Mormon from Nevada. So is Bryce Harper. He works in D.C. (where he was answering a question from Roll Call's Steven Dennis about some immigration stuff involving Mitch McConnell and Mitt Romney). So does Harper (who coined this phrase less than a week ago, al...

Deadspin I-Team: What's The Story Behind Cole Hamels's Giant Bulge?
Phillies center fielder Shane Victorino puts on an annual fashion show to raise money for his foundation, which seems like a pretty neat thing to do. There are models, glitz, glamour, and a lot of Phillies players dressed up in fancy clothes. What a time!...

Why I Lie: An Athlete's PR Guy Comes Clean
One of the toughest jobs of a publicist is learning how to lie. It's the one thing about my career that keeps me awake at night. I'm not looking for sympathy—I chose this profession. But as some of you know, it can be a dangerous circle, telling lies to keep other lies intact. ...

Charlie Pierce Destroys An Awful Column Proclaiming Bryce Harper As A Conservative Hero
Last Friday, the Daily Caller published what is truly one of the most insane pieces of sportswriting to ever exist, in which a dumb guy attempts to turn Bryce Harper into a symbol of conservative values and the reincarnation of Ronald Reagan, or some shit....

Heavy Wind Nearly Propels Grounds Crew Worker Into Orbit
Keep your eye on back row of grounds crew workers in the video above, specifically the fourth person from the left. Even if you can't find him right away, you certainly will by the six-second mark, when the wind launches him several feet off the ground. That's Kyle Smith, the general manager of th...