eh Page 167 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Fear The Friend Who Makes You Eat Your Beard
Harvey Westmoreland and his bro Joe were always cool with Troy Hold and James Hill. But then they got into a fight about a lawnmower in Lawrenceburg, Ky. I'll let Harvey take it from here....

Your "Delaware Rules" College Basketball All-Day Thread
There's nothing like going to Vegas for the first weekend of the NCAA men's college-basketball tournament. As great as that is, there's nothing like feigning interest in the first weekend of NCAA men's college-basketball regular-season games....

Coach Raids John Daly's Wardrobe For Retina-Bleaching Suit
The coach of the Morehead State women's team wanted a way to grab attention to help recruiting. His solution? Well, you see the photo....

Dave Niehaus, The Voice Of The Mariners, Is Dead At 75
Niehaus called the first pitch in Mariners history in 1977 — a strike by Diego Segui — and continued calling until their final game of the 2010 season. He died of a heart attack in his Bellevue home Wednesday afternoon....

Derek Jeter Is A Gold Glover, Somehow (UPDATE)
There are no words. It's as if Joe Morgan left a giant turd on the carpet on his way out the door. [HardballTalk]...

Your College Football Afternoon Games Open Thread
Two Top-10 matchups: TCU at Utah (um, "national championship" atmosphere?) and Alabama at LSU. Two Top-4 teams playing: Oregon hosts Washington and Boise State hosts Hawaii. And, Nebraska makes its last conference-rival visit to Iowa Fucking State....

Hulk Hogan: I Didn't Show My Genitals To My Daughter
In a 12-second video provided to "best friend" Bubba The Love Sponge, former professional wrestler Hulk Hogan tries to make the case that he didn't flash his junk seconds after his daughter Brooke was bump-grindin' in a hotel room....

Knifepoint Cunnilingus And A Fishy Scent
I don't want to spoil the surprise, but I really think you should check this out....

How To Cover A Dog Sex Scandal: Just Another Day At Deadspin
Sometimes, we get stories that even we aren't sure what to do with. Here's a transcript of a discussion on how to package a story about a rugger with his dick in a dog's mouth. This is how your sausage gets made....

Silencing Joe Buck And Tim McCarver: A Simple Tech Solution To Our Crappy World Series Announcers
Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, Fox's World Series broadcast team, will begin inflicting themselves on a national television audience tonight. Thankfully, technology offers recourse that doesn't involve throwing something heavy at the TV: just synch up the broadcast with radio commentary....

The Result Of A Skate To The Neck Is Quite Frankensteiny
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Gareth Bale Can Still Beat Inter Milan On The Aggregate
Elderly midfielder Javier Zanetti became the oldest goalscorer in Champions League history when he opened proceedings after just two minutes, and Spurs found themselves 3-0 down within a quarter of an hour after keeper Gomes was sent off for bringing down Jonathan Biabany....

How One Small DVR Improvement Screwed Up The Football-Watching Experience
No sport lends itself more readily to the splendors of digital video recording than football. And nobody suffered more than football fans when Comcast introduced a schoolmarmish new DVR feature: auto-correction for fast-forwarding....

Your "Heroes of Concentration" Phillies/Reds Open Thread
Reds pitcher Johnny Cueto beat the Phillies 7-3 in Cincy on June 28. But then, they lost a game in Philly 10 days later. This is his first playoff game. Says Cueto, "I just need to concentrate." [Cincinnati.com]...

Cigar Guy Isn't As Fun, Photoshoppable When He's Not Wearing The Fake 'Stache
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Letter Chiding Baylor Students For Clogging Plumbing System With Semen Is Too Good To Be True, Alas
According to an anonymous tipster, the residence halls at Baylor were recently clogged with semen, leading to this desperate plea from one residence hall's director. Sadly, it's a fake, as our brief conversation with the hilariously put-upon director confirmed....

Wayne Rooney Is Not An Animal. Wayne Rooney Is A Human Being.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Triple H Bangs On Doors To Get Votes For Mother-In-Law Linda McMahon
Well, if Linda McMahon's Facebook page is to be believed, she's unleashing a practitioner of the "Inverted Indian deathlock" on the voters of Fairfield, Ct. this morning....

The Baby-Holding, Foul-Ball-Catching Dads Are Not Going Away
Having learned nothing, a man attending last night's Tigers-Indians match caught a foul ball off the bounce, while holding a baby that may be his and standing perilously close to a railing. Someone put a stop to these monsters. [Sportress of Blogitude]...

How To Hack ESPN Fantasy Football To Get Any Player You Want (Update: Fixed)
ESPN's is the second most popular fantasy football site, with more than 6 million users. So it's a huge problem that a gaping flaw exists, allowing you to change the rosters of any team in just minutes. Here's how to do it....