eh Page 190 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
ESPN Is Out To Destroy The NHL
This piece is a week old by this point, but we're still fascinated by its premise: Is ESPN deliberately trying to kill hockey?...
Happy Birthday, Wiffleball!
It's a big day in the world of sports birthdays: The wiffleball (and bat, we presume, unless they were just playing catch) turns 54 years old today. We would compare the wiffleball's age to our mother's, but she'd get all mad at us....
The Wind Was Angry That Day, My Friends
"Help! The infield tarp has got me!" If you heard those words, what would you do? The host Colorado Rockies cowered in their dugout, but the Phillies' Shane Victorino is made of stronger stuff. Hearing the panicky cries of Rockies groundskeeper Keros Johnson, who was trapped in the middle of a wind-...
No Way Is This A Ripoff Of The Shufflin' Crew
At first I was slightly disappointed when the video preview image looked like a white guy in shades standing behind a golden Plinko board. But the video redeemed itself when a European guy conducted with his feet....
We Doubt Anna Benson Would Have Stood For This
To wrap up today, here's yet another example of just how weird professional athletes are, from a few days ago: They sometimes live in a batting cage. That's what the Angels' Reggie Willits does, anyway....
Today, A Victory For America
We just returned from Joey Chestnut's world record breaking performance at the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Championship, and, to be entirely honest with you, we're not sure when we've had more fun at a sporting event. Full report tomorrow ... but as for now ... USA! USA! USA! Nobody eats like us!...
Someone Please Help Lift Up Kruk's Hair
The heroic folks at The Sports Hernia have been documenting the various incarnations of John Kruk's hair this year, from the Barry Melrose to the "perm jailbreak."...
It's Alright To Cry, Seattle
As you most likely know by now, Mike Hargrove shocked the Mariners on Sunday by announcing his resignation before his team's 2-1 win over the Blue Jays, eliciting tears from, among others, Jose Guillen. But it's OK, Mariners' fans; let it all out. As Rosey Grier taught us in the classic Sesame Stree...
Mike Hargrove's Fading Passion
Ignoring Crash Davis's sage advice, "Never fuck with a winning streak," Mariners manager Mike Hargrove is stepping down. He's not really giving a reason, other than to say that "his passion has begun to fade." I just think he needs to hang out with David Ross more. That'll get the passion going....
It's Becoming More Fun To Talk About The NBA Than To Watch It
So, to make this clear, in the last week or so, Kevin Garnett has alternately been going to the Bulls (definitely!), the Lakers (without question!) and now the Suns (put it in the books!). ESPN has all the different scenarios, which include the Suns giving up Shawn Marion or Amare Stoudemire, the Ce...
The Mets Show Some Midnight Funk
Anyway, after Shawn Green's walk-off homer last night, the Mets celebrated like crazy people at home plate. Specifically, Jose Reyes did his little boxer's dance at home plate and, most amusingly, Jose Valentin going all caveman on the ground with his bat. "Shawn homer! Shawn homer! Bash! Bash!" Tha...
Your Importance Is Minimal, Child
We don't mean to imply that Jeff Gordon's newborn child — Ella Sofia Gordon, born yesterday at 9:09 — isn't going to be the most important person in her own family, but the following paragraph appeared on his official site today. (Via the Celebrity Baby Names Blog ... now there's a blog! It's almost...
Tony LaRussa Is Sexier Than You Think
We don't mean to imply that vegetarians are inherently unsexy people, but we think that maybe they need to upgrade the attractiveness level of their celebrities. One of the nominees for PETA's sexiest vegetarian is ... Tony LaRussa....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as about 300 dogs bark and claw at your back door, for some reason. Could it be your shorts? • MLB: Atlanta at Minnesota. And then he calls me a jerk and says the last guy who thought he was a jerk was dead now. So I don't say nothin' and he says, 'What do ya think about that?' So I sa...
A Requiem For Bad Moon's Money
For months now, we've been trying to figure out why, during our exhibition football game against Andre Rison and Kordell Stewart, Rison felt obliged to hug us. We felt we had competed hard, but not quite worthy of a hug. We thought maybe Andre was just lonely. Maybe he missed Left Eye?...
This Is Why Ricky Bobby Always Keeps Both Hands On The Wheel
We suppose this is racing's version of the Leon Lett/Don Beebe play in Super Bowl XXVII ... dude is winning this racing extravaganza by a wide margin, until he begins waving to the crowd in triumph and loses control of the vehicle. And, into the wall! He then exits the car — just feet short of the f...
Female Jordan Retires Out Of Boredom With The WNBA
Imagine, for a moment, if LeBron James were clinically depressed. If all his natural skill was wasted on a mind that couldn't get its act together; a million dollar body in a 10-cent head, if you will. He would be a tragic figure, Steve Blass writ large, an epic athletics cautionary tale....
John Daly's Wife: 'No Stabby My Hubby'
We knew that there had to be more to this story ... come on, it's John Daly. And he didn't let us down. apparently....
Gilbert Arenas Has A Lot Of Baby Stuff To Buy
The Washington Wizards say that they're not surprised that Agent Zero plans to opt out of the final year of his contract, turning down the team's offer of a three-year extension. Arenas signed a six-year, $65 million deal with the team in 2003, but says that he can make bigger money through free age...