eh Page 189 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Utes and Young Manhood
Nice storyline from today's Michigan/Utah game: Paul Kruger, victim of a vicious stabbing earlier this year, is playing for the Utes. Utah's starting defensive end, along with his younger brother Dave and teammate Greg Newman, were attacked back in January by a group of unknown tough guys outside a ...
Aye Carumba! Chad Johnson Changes Last Name To Ocho Cinco
So Bengals wideout Chad Johnson has legally changed his name to "Chad Javon Ocho Cinco." Which I guess is only slightly better than "Chad Javon GoldenPalace.com." Chad expects to play in the Bengals' season opener, despite suffering a dislocated shoulder in the preseason and creating more needlework...
And This Little Piggy Smashed Your Face In
We've been irritated a time or six by a game official that felt they were as important to the proceedings as the participants themselves. We always had the urge to do something about them to return equilibrium to the event. However, we never got further than drafting a formal complaint and then for...
Titans Haze Injured Rookies By Taping Them to Goalpost, Covering Them In Food
It's good to see that NFL hazing will never die. At least not until someone tears an ACL or suffocates while taped to a goal post. The Titans held their annual dizzy bat race for the healthy players. But they reserved their true scorn for the players who were too injured to participate in the dizzy...
Tell Me How My Sass Tastes: Woman Gets Restraining Order Against Shaq For "Stalking"
Just as things started looking up for Shaquille O'Neal (a rejuvenation of his NBA career in Phoenix, a rejuvenation of his rap career, making up with his estranged wife) he might be in store for some troubling times due to the allegations of one Atlanta-based lady who claims The Diesel is "stalking ...
IOC Finally Launches Investigation Into Chinese Gymnasts Thanks To "Stryde Hax"
It appears the U.S. women's gymnastics team may actually get their coveted gold medals if an IOC investigation into the ages of the Chinese gymnastics team proves the little demons weren't all 16 years of age. After initially dodging all the questions, the findings of one U.S.-based blogger named St...
You Taste Of America, Jason Lezak
There's no better motivation for an American in the Olympics than Frenchy getting in your face and predicting victory. "I will let you go, Ricky. But first, I want you to say ... 'I love crepes.' " Jason Lezak outsprinted Alain Bernard of France in the anchor leg as the U.S. men — Michael Phelps, Ga...
Gourmet Spud's Thursday Afternoon CFL D###-Joke Free Jambor-eh
Drew Magary is off this week on a well-deserved, court-ordered "vacation". Filling in for Deadspin's juggernaut featured columnist is Gourmet "Who?" Spud, one of Deadspin's new weekend swing editors, a frequent commentor, and 1/4 of the team over at Food Court Lunch. He also helped your grandmother...
Are You Offended By ESPN?
That's the question posed by MarketWatch columnist Jon Friedman, who gives the WWL a thorough Bissingering based on the recent "lowbrow or boorish behavior" of some of ESPN's talent. Specifically, the incidents involving Jemele Hill, Dana Jacobson, and Bonnie Bernstein, respectively. Friedman's piec...
Hey Kids! Look Who's Back!
Has it really been two years since Harold Reynolds was jettisoned from the ESPN Star Destroyer? It's been a long, strange trip over that span — including many skirmishes with the WWL, and a coveted Deadspin SHOTY nomination with us — but now our man is finally back on national TV. TBS brought him on...
Track And Field Trials Not Shy About Producing Funny Headlines
Well met, ESPN copy editors. Yesterday, we got a "brilliant burst" of a running Hooker and today we get a Gay in heat. So salacious, these running trials. Jesuth Chritht!...
Hooker Gives Herself A Happy Ending
A few commenters in the Marshawn post drew my attention to this lovely headline currently appearing on tWWL's site. It's funny because hookers only usually run from cops, Patrick Bateman and the angry pack of dogs on my estate. They're bred specifically for their hooker-killing prowess....
Who's Sorry Now? ESPN Columnist Edition
I wanted the final Who's Sorry Now? post during Will's tenure to be a memorable one, and this one's a doozy. Jemele Hill's latest column over at the Page Dos includes the phrase "I'm sorry," not once, but three times ... plus dozens of other variations of the term sprinkled throughout. It's a mea cu...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while trying to forget this little bit of nightmare fuel (I suggest trying some of this stuff)... • CWS: Fresno State vs. UNC, loser goes home (unless Fresno wins). [ESPN] • Olympics: U.S. Olympic Trials, Women's Gymnastics. Try not to stare, it's rude and creepy. [NBC] • Boxing: See b...
ESPN Is Giving Jemele Hill Some Quiet Time
As you've probably heard by now, ESPN has suspended Jemele Hill for a "period of time" after one of her columns broke Godwin's Law and invoked Hitler. We do hope local Boston sports radio is happy now that they have their scalp....
Celtics Fans Are No Longer Hitler Sympathizers
The first line of Jemele HIll's ESPN.com article showed promise: "I thought it wouldn't bother me. I thought I would be OK. Turns out, I was as wrong as Skip Bayless." But somewhere down the line, she lost her way. A reader tipped us off that in Hill's anti-Celtics screed, she used a line that liken...
And Now For News That Isn't Fair
The gal on the left there, her name is Adriana Lima. (Just in case you wanted a name to go with the wet dream later on.) The guy on the right is some kind of basketball player named Marko Jaric. One of them has about 8½ million Google searches. The other, not even 200 grand. Hopefully Ms. Lima signs...
Vince Young In Dire Need Of Media Training
Vince Young should probably just take a vow of silence or hire a full-time transcriber to follow him around when he's talking to the media, because it appears he's having trouble translating his own words. Last week, Young apparently told NFL.com writer Thomas George that he was considering retirem...