eh Page 191 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

NHL Comes Crawling Back To ESPN
After being slapped repeatedly across the head and neck for a couple of years, the NHL appears to be crying uncle on the whole nobody-can-watch-their-games-on-television thing....

The Man Needs No Superpowers
We can't thank Benjamin Hill of Minor League Ball enough for this little tidbit: We're about to get our comic book geek on with our hero among heroes....

True Stars Shine In Los Angeles
Thank God they finally got that out of the way. For weeks we've been inundated with coverage of David Beckham's American debut. Now that those anti-climactic 12 minutes of play have come and gone perhaps everybody will just calm down for a little while. Like any other fan of American soccer I'm glad...

The Night Time Is The Right Time
It's been confirmed that David Beckham will not start tonight in his debut with the LA Galaxy, however he has indicated that he will suit up and play. The questions remaining are at what point will he enter the game, and how long will his tender pussy ankle allow him to go on. Blah blah blah. The re...

Tim "Douche" Donaghy Did It and I Called It
The now ex-NBA referee has had a really shitty week, and deservedly so. Just as I predicted Donaghy was identified as the target of the FBI's gambling investigation. While part of me feels for a guy who obviously suffers from a gambling addiction the rest of me is fucking ecstatic. The reason I kept...

Tanner Boyle Says Fox Can Take Their Trophy And Stick It Up Their BLEEP
So you want to join in the discussion on the Fox message boards, but you're not sure if you'll be able to call someone a "dipshit" if it's warranted? Sure, it's a dilemma we all face. But now the mighty Fox Network gives you two choices with their blogs, story comments and message boards: Spicy, and...

ESPN Is Out To Destroy The NHL
This piece is a week old by this point, but we're still fascinated by its premise: Is ESPN deliberately trying to kill hockey?...

Happy Birthday, Wiffleball!
It's a big day in the world of sports birthdays: The wiffleball (and bat, we presume, unless they were just playing catch) turns 54 years old today. We would compare the wiffleball's age to our mother's, but she'd get all mad at us....

The Wind Was Angry That Day, My Friends
"Help! The infield tarp has got me!" If you heard those words, what would you do? The host Colorado Rockies cowered in their dugout, but the Phillies' Shane Victorino is made of stronger stuff. Hearing the panicky cries of Rockies groundskeeper Keros Johnson, who was trapped in the middle of a wind-...

No Way Is This A Ripoff Of The Shufflin' Crew
At first I was slightly disappointed when the video preview image looked like a white guy in shades standing behind a golden Plinko board. But the video redeemed itself when a European guy conducted with his feet....

We Doubt Anna Benson Would Have Stood For This
To wrap up today, here's yet another example of just how weird professional athletes are, from a few days ago: They sometimes live in a batting cage. That's what the Angels' Reggie Willits does, anyway....

Today, A Victory For America
We just returned from Joey Chestnut's world record breaking performance at the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Championship, and, to be entirely honest with you, we're not sure when we've had more fun at a sporting event. Full report tomorrow ... but as for now ... USA! USA! USA! Nobody eats like us!...

Someone Please Help Lift Up Kruk's Hair
The heroic folks at The Sports Hernia have been documenting the various incarnations of John Kruk's hair this year, from the Barry Melrose to the "perm jailbreak."...

It's Alright To Cry, Seattle
As you most likely know by now, Mike Hargrove shocked the Mariners on Sunday by announcing his resignation before his team's 2-1 win over the Blue Jays, eliciting tears from, among others, Jose Guillen. But it's OK, Mariners' fans; let it all out. As Rosey Grier taught us in the classic Sesame Stree...

Mike Hargrove's Fading Passion
Ignoring Crash Davis's sage advice, "Never fuck with a winning streak," Mariners manager Mike Hargrove is stepping down. He's not really giving a reason, other than to say that "his passion has begun to fade." I just think he needs to hang out with David Ross more. That'll get the passion going....


It's Becoming More Fun To Talk About The NBA Than To Watch It
So, to make this clear, in the last week or so, Kevin Garnett has alternately been going to the Bulls (definitely!), the Lakers (without question!) and now the Suns (put it in the books!). ESPN has all the different scenarios, which include the Suns giving up Shawn Marion or Amare Stoudemire, the Ce...

The Mets Show Some Midnight Funk
Anyway, after Shawn Green's walk-off homer last night, the Mets celebrated like crazy people at home plate. Specifically, Jose Reyes did his little boxer's dance at home plate and, most amusingly, Jose Valentin going all caveman on the ground with his bat. "Shawn homer! Shawn homer! Bash! Bash!" Tha...