eli Page 119 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This TV Moment With Anthony Davis Isn't Strange Or Anything
Viewers watching NBA TV's broadcast (via a Fox Sports affiliate) of tonight's Hawks-Pelicans game—one that finally broke Atlanta's win streak—got a special EXTREME CLOSEUP of New Orleans star Anthony Davis's face. The Vine is even better to show your children:...
Counterpoint: Tom Brady Is One Of The Best Of All Time, Moron
I knew there would be a lot of shitty hot takes in the wake of yesterday's titanic Super Bowl. But I didn't know that the worst take of all would come from THIS VERY WEBSITE, from the otherwise perfectly reasonable Barry Petchesky. Barry is a Giants fan, so maybe his brain has been wadded up with ...
One Photo Of Bill Belichick And His Daughter
Bill Belichick and his daughter....
Hey, Get A Load Of This Evil Doctor
The Washington Post has a profile today of Dr. Jack Wolfson, an Arizona cardiologist and holistic medicine, uh, doer or whatever, who's made something of a name for himself by providing a flimsy, fraudulent rime of expertish cover to the reprehensible, morally criminal anti-vaccination crowd in the ...
Saints Execs Claim Tom Benson Is Still An Active Owner
Saints team president Dennis Lauscha and general manager Mickey Loomis spoke with the New Orleans Times-Picayune yesterday, and claimed that team owner Tom Benson is not a mentally feeble puppet being manipulated by his wife, as has been claimed in a lawsuit filed by Benson's recently jilted heirs....
What Are Bill Belichick's Other Horcruxes?
Seeing as how Lord Belichick inadvertently revealed the nature of one of his Horcruxes today, we thought now would be a good time to try and figure out what items house the other six pieces of his sundered soul. These are our guesses, and please feel free to share your own in the comments....
One-Seventh Of Bill Belichick's Soul Likely Hidden In Monkey Puppet
During his Media Day session, Bill Belichick received a question that was actually valuable from Patriots linebacker Jerod Mayo's daughter. She asked him what his favorite stuffed animal was, and Belichick hit her with this:...
Robert Kraft Doubles Down On Patriots' Innocence, Asks NFL For Apology
Patriots owner Robert Kraft crashed a press conference scheduled for Bill Belichick and Tom Brady in Arizona tonight, telling the assembled media "I want to make it clear that I believe unconditionally that the New England Patriots have done nothing wrong" in response to accusations that they deflat...
NFL Football Manufacturer Also Says Bill Belichick Is Full Of Shit
It's not just Bill Nye the Science Guy who isn't buying Bill Belichick's involved and theoretical explanation for how the Patriots's underinflated footballs might have gotten that way without any nefarious tactics. Representatives from Wilson, the company that makes the NFL's footballs, say that Bel...
Even QVC Is Making Jokes About The Patriots' Footballs
Shut it down. All that can be said about Ballghazi has been said....
Bill Nye The Science Guy Says Bill Belichick Is Full Of Shit
Science expert Bill Nye appeared on Good Morning America today to unequivocally call out Bill Belichick as a bullshitter....
Bill Belichick: "I've Handled Dozens Of Balls" In Search To Do Science
The NFL's resident Mr. Wizard, Bill Belichick, attempted to explain away Ballghazi by running a post pattern on science this afternoon, going long on Boyle's Law and the intricacies of the New England Patriots' process of touching, rubbing, and caressing balls....
Suit: Saints Owner Tom Benson Is Being Manipulated By His Scheming Wife
Yesterday, New Orleans Saints and Pelicans owner Tom Benson's daughter and grandchildren filed a lawsuit seeking to block his recent and curious decision to cut his family members out of his life and name his third wife, Gayle Marie LaJaunie Bird, heir to his ownership of both teams. We now have a...
The Family Dispute Over Ownership Of The Saints Is Getting Ugly
This morning, an official press release was sent out announcing that New Orleans Saints and Pelicans owner Tom Benson had drastically restructured his plans for the inevitable ownership transfer of each team. Under the new plan, the 87-year-old Benson's daughter, Renee Benson, and her two children...
Poker-Playing Dog, Or Bud Selig?
This fine portrait now hangs in the Padres' offices at Petco Park. Some people say it looks like soon-to-be-former MLB commissioner Bud Selig, but I think it kinda looks like one of those poker-playing dogs. What do you think?...
Bill Belichick Was Trying Very Hard Not To Make Accidental Balls Jokes
At his press conference denying knowledge of deflated footballs, Patriots coach Bill Belichick discovered what we've know for days: it's very hard to talk or write about this story without making reference to "balls," and then giggling because it's very, very funny....
Bill Belichick, Showing Off His Tube Socks
Bill Belichick, the grumpiest Teletubby, is either ready for a flood or extremely proud of his socks and shoes. This man coaches an NFL team....
How To Survive An Office Meeting: A Guide For Sad Drones
One of the terrors of the modern office job is the meeting, wherein everyone in a particular business unit of a company converges to sit around a sad, grey conference table to recite terms like report and action item and iteration and suboptimal at each other in the hope that these will conjure, m...
An Idiot Beer Company Sent Us Vaseline
I'm on SweetWater's mailing list. They send me some good shit sometimes. I haven't reviewed any of it yet, just because, eh, lotta beers out there. But they make some good stuff. Today, they sent this bullshit....