eli Page 154 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Football Team Doesn't Like The News, So They Steal The Newspaper
Bad: Texas A&M-Commerce players busted with drugs. Worse: players take every copy on campus of the school newspaper running the story. Worserer: coach is proud of their "team-building exercise."...

Indiana Hazing Scandal Proves High School Kids Are Still Obnoxious
Carmel High School's basketball Senior Day was ruined—ruined!—by shameless tabloid reporters snooping around in the stands for salacious gossip. Oh, and the fact that three of the four seniors were kicked off the team for alleged forceable sodomy....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Miss Elizabeth
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Miss Elizabeth, who died in 2003 of an overdose at the home of her boyfriend, Lex Luger....

Tiger Woods Apologizes To A Bunch Of Toddlers
No, that headline doesn't refer to the wire services so loathed by Craggs. The Woods family wrote a note of apology to their daughter's daycare classmates....

Tiger's "Selfish" Apology Already Off To A Bad Start
Tiger Woods hasn't even shown up for his earth-shattering non-press conference, but he's already annoying everyone with his attention-hogging, me-first attitude....

In Praise Of Team Spicoli
I have a new favorite Olympian, and he is the guy who, when asked yesterday how it feels to be a member of the U.S. snowboarding team, responded with the following bit of bongwater poetry:...

Beer Is The Official Lifegiving Liquid Of Cleveland, And More Stories You Weren't Supposed To See
The Super Bowl is a black hole of news; anything non-football is quickly sucked in, never to escape into the public consciousness. Sometimes that's no accident. Here are three stories that were designed to fly under the radar....

Is That A Fleur de Lis In Your Throat Or Are You Just Drunk?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Stories That Don't Suck: Starstruck In N.O., Drunk In Indy, Badly Beaten In Yonkers, Gonzo At The Big Game
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Michael Irvin Accused Of Rape
A woman has accused Irvin and an accomplice of raping her in a Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in 2007. The Broward County Attorney's office is expected to decide next week if criminal charges will be brought. [Miami Herald]...

Astonishing Tales Of Insanity: The 23-Mile Parachute Jump vs. Rocket Sled
An Austrian skydiver is planning to jump out of a balloon 120,000 feet above the Earth. Is that more or less stupid than a guy strapping a muffler filled with gasoline to his back while sledding down a hill?...

Nutty Protesters Going After Hockey Now, Apparently
Westboro Baptist Church, best known for disrupting soldiers' funerals and being generally batshit insane, are currently — at this very moment! — picketing outside the Stars/Coyotes game in Dallas. Because nothing saith "abomination unto the Lord" like Marty Turco's goaltending....

Stories That Don't Suck: Salinger, A Georgian's Burden, Gary Hart And The Thank-You-For-Nots
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

And On Saturday, The First Fan Became Joe Six-Pack
What an action-packed and important day it's been for Barack Obama. He sat courtside at Duke-Georgetown (oh shush, all of you), told Clark Kellogg he was gunning for his job and his administration wants to finally pass reform that matters....

Because Everything Is About Brett Favre, Always
Reports have Elin Nordegren staying at Favre's Mississippi home while visiting Tiger in sex rehab, which we have yet to prove he's in anyway. If you piggyback a false rumor on another false rumor, does that make it true? [Via]...

This Dog Likes Racing Dirt Bikes
Well, I wouldn't say "likes racing" them, so much as "clings to the handlebars frozen in terror as his owner races them."...

Mediocre Daytime Host And Mediocre-QB-Turned-Mediocre-Analyst Switch Jobs
Tim Hasselbeck and his infinitely-more-famous wife will swap places on Tuesday, meaning he'll host The View while Elisabeth fills in on NFL Live. Though their respective performances will be necessarily uninformed, you might not notice a difference. [AP]...

Here Lie The New England Patriots: 2001-2010
After their humiliating beatdown on Sunday, you might be tempted to look back on Sunday as the day the New England Patriots' dynasty died. You are definitely not alone....

Selig Wants To Outsource Championships Now
A "global World Series," besides being redundant, is Bud Selig's latest bright idea to grow the game worldwide. It will also make us look bad....

December: <em>Fin.</em>
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from December, ranked low to high...