eli Page 177 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
New Steroid Agreement Reached
Well, we didn't have the scoop this time, but our main man Jon Heyman did: Major League Baseball and the players union have reached an agreement on a new steroid penalty policy. The details: 50 games for a first offense, 100 games for a second offense and a lifetime ban for the third offense. Thos...
Last Call For Athlete Run-In Stories
We'll be picking our winners in our athlete run-in stories contest, where the best athlete run-in stories win a free copy of The Education Of A Coach, the new David Halberstam about Patriots coach Bill Belichick....
Now Blogging For NHL.com ...
Off Wing Opinion beat us to this, because they're really into hockey and we can't even wear skates without falling down. Apparently taking a cue from MLB Blogs, NHL.com has added a new blog section to its site. But those who run hockey have a much better idea of what works online; whereas the sig...
Tell Us Your Best Athlete Run-Ins, And Win A Book!
Hey, look, it's the first-ever Deadspin contest. The fine folks at Hyperion Books just shipped a big stack of copies of David Halberstam's new book The Education Of A Coach to Deadspin World Headquarters, and we're here to give them away. We've read the book and think it's really good, actually, eve...
Revisiting Felix Heredia
A fascinating, oddly chilling read from "writer" Tiffany Battista was just sent to us, and we had to share it with you. Essentially, it details a night three years ago when Mets reliever Felix Heredia — who was suspended for steroids last month — woke up Battista (who was with a friend in his hous...
Field Goal Jesus
Today we grapple with the big questions. Like, if Jesus were around today and attending high school, what sport would he go out for? It's impossible to know for sure (Kurt Warner isn't answering his cell phone), but we guess football. We imagine that Christ would be an awesome placekicker ("It's h...
Uh, Mr. Selig, We're Not Sure We Can Get A Crane There In Time
From Fox News' homepage this morning. When we first saw it, it had us running for the phones. First off, what about all the people inside? Secondly, uh, it's not retractable is it? Third ... who gives Bud Selig the authority? Where does he get off? Can he just roam the countryside, ripping off peo...
NFL Roundup: Portis' Head
• Contrary to popular belief, Redskins running back Clinton Portis was not doing an impersonation of Yankees center fielder Bernie Williams chasing a fly ball while doing that cartwheel in the end zone yesterday. Good guess, though. • We're not saying that Cincinnati was getting a little too excit...
Jesus Christ, All-Pro
Little Billy was a terror on defense — he had been living in the opponents' backfield all day. But then he took it one step too far. Yes, as you may have guessed from this photo, Billy was penalized 15 yards for "roughing Jesus," an infraction that also carries loss of down, plus possible eternal ...
Congressional Steroid Hearings End Four Days Early
Wrapping Up The Congressional Steroid Hearings:...
Steroid Hearings: Look, They Invited The NHL!
More From The Congressional Steroid Hearings...
We Watch Steroid Trials So You Don't Have To
We love you so much, that we're actually willing to sit through these Congressional steroid hearings, chaired by Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), who we still think could beat up the entire "Inside The NFL" staff in a fight. (We're not counting Bob Costas, who you totally know would just run away.) Any...
Set Tivos To C-SPAN!
Like most people, we watched last spring's and summer's steroid hearings with many healthy dollops of amusement; it was alternately:...
Making Sure You Have Your Expressed Written Consent
We make fun of commissioner Bud Selig and Major League Baseball a lot here, but we must give credit where credit be due. An enterprising sort named Merritt Bettineski, tongue planted firmly in Merritt Bettineski Cheek, wrote a letter to MLB Headquarters asking Selig for permission to show an old S...
Jon Bon Jovi And Bud Selig Bring The Rock
Now, we know Bon Jovi hasn't exactly ever been, oh, underground, we guess, but on the list of Things We Imagine Rock Stars Doing That Are Debaucherous, Involve Leather Pants And Mostly Out Of Our Frame Of Reference, pre-releasing your album on MLB.com with an extra track for MLB.com customers wou...
Fun With Yard Work!
We are far from the first people to scream the genius of Yard Work, but we still kinda want to be the ones who do it the loudest. Calling the site "satirical" isn't doing it justice; the site is brilliant in mad, somewhat terrifying ways. (We were unable to read this week's story about Rickey Hend...
Kicking Off The Season With Satan
According to the The Boston Herald, which is being amusingly hush-hush about the whole thing, tonight's special guest at the NFL Kickoff Festivities will be Ozzy Osbourne. What does Ozzy Osbourne have to do with football? Well, Kanye West doesn't have anything to do with football either, and if Ozzy...
Outdoor Life Network Wants Baseball. That's Kinda Cute
We're not sure how this is going to work out for them, but the Outdoor Life Network — all uppity after agreeing to be the main NHL network this season — is going to try to bid on Major League Baseball next season. The goal is to pry away those Sunday night and Wednesday night games when ESPN's con...
The Deprogramming of David Wells
It's a sad day when Boston fathead David Wells is turned into a Stepford Drone, but it has happened. On Monday, Wells blasted commissioner Bud Selig and essentially accused him of covering up the Rafael Palmeiro steroid bust, which, frankly, the rest of us all think too. But once Wells left his em...
Wells Gets Detention, Call Home to Parents
After his pissed-off comments Monday, Boston pitcher David Wells has been sent to the principal's office. Wells, who blasted commissioner Bud Selig and accused him of covering up steroid results, was summoned to New York to chat with baseball brass. Interestingly enough, Selig himself is unlikely ...