emo Page 53 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Learning To Pitch
Head on over the SB Nation's Longform site and check out this lovely story by Rachel Toor about dating the late Bob Welch:...
My Anger Therapy
Here's an excerpt from Bosnian-American writer, MacArthur "genius" fellow, and Howler contributor Aleksandar Hemon's new e-book, The Matters of Life, Death, and More. It'll give you a little taste of how seriously this World Cup debutante nation takes its soccer....
David Attenborough Narrates Bird Taking A Shit On Memorial Golf Course
Golf Channel cameras caught a bird taking an enormous shit on the course during the Memorial Tournament in Dublin, Ohio earlier today. This is video of that bird shitting, with some spliced in narration provided by famed naturalist Sir David Attenborough....
A Combat Doctor's Field Guide To Masturbating In Afghanistan
Nine real-life scenarios from the front lines, nine field-tested solutions, courtesy our friend "Dr. Watts," a military doctor who served with the Marines Corps infantry....
"I Heard Myself Say Out Loud, 'Someone Needs To Smoke That Little Girl'"
A Marine Corps medic in Afghanistan struggles to balance Hippocrates and the demands of war. You can find the full story below. An excerpt:...
Here Is Your Memorial Day Menu
So it's Memorial Day, a day designated by the federal government for inching glacially northward on I-95 with ten trillion other weekend beachgoers, cursing the day this humid blue turd congealed out of space-garbage in the orbit of a giant ignited fart, secretly desperate to return to the climate-c...
Slash Played The National Anthem Before Blackhawks-Kings Game 3
What better way to honor our fallen troops this Memorial Day weekend than to have Slash shred a rendition of The Star-Spangled-Banner?...
Learning to Surf Without Feeling
Another story that's worth your time. Erik Hedegaard's memoir piece for Outside:...
We Are Uncool
Here's the first of 3 singles we'll be posting this week from my new full-length mix, Another Fine Mess....
It Was All A Dream
We tried a bunch of songs for the finale of Another Fine Mess and nothing worked. I couldn’t get it off my mind for days. It wouldn’t let me alone. I knew once I stopped pressing I’d find the right song and that’s just what happened when I came across “Sunrays” from Yesterday’s New Quintet’s ep, Ell...
Elderly Samuel Eto'o Bashes Mourinho, Plans To Play As <em>Actual</em> Old Man
Samuel Eto'o is in the Ivory Coast today in support of the Copa Coca Cola, an international youth tournament. In an interview before the event, he had some choice words for the "fool" José Mourinho and anyone else who wants to fuck with Hollywood Court....
I Can't Stop Shitting Myself: Possessed Woman Attacks Fellow Train Rider
I don't like this video. It scares me. It scares me a lot....
Maybe It's OK If Robinson Cano Doesn't "Burn To Be The Best"
From the New York Daily News comes this:...
This Is What A <em>WWE Raw</em> Script Looks Like
Pro wrestling is scripted in two senses. The first is, obviously, that match outcomes are predetermined, and that's the one that detractors, missing the point entirely, fall back on to taunt viewers. (Though WWE did have a problem with leaked outcomes last year.) The second is almost more important...
José Mourinho Is The Antichrist: A Closet Liverpool Fan's Lament
Of course Chelsea won. Of course. ...
Typical José: Chelsea's Champions League Win Was Right On Schedule
José Mourinho's teams are some goddamn cockroaches, man. Just when you think you've got them squashed, their viscous innards seeping from their corrugated underbelly—as PSG could've justifiably believed, leading Chelsea 3-1 after the first leg of their Champions League tie—they somehow keep right on...
<em>Game Of Thrones</em> As Told By Emojis Is Great
These emoji-fueled interpretations of pop culture are all over the place nowadays, but this one is particularly inspired. You done good, creator of Game of Phones....
The Heroes Of My Youth
More baseball because this is a time for spring and baseball on the brain. Check this out, from one of my favorite writers, a memoir piece by Paul Hemphill about growing up watching the Birmingham Barons:...
A Boy Grew in Brooklyn
So goes the title of this memoir piece that Arthur Miller wrote for Holiday back in March of 1955:...