emo Page 79 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Nobody Can Resist Andre Berto
Tonight's HBO Boxing card might be headlined by Sugar Shane Mosley against the aged Matador, Ricardo Mayorga, but the real show will be the co-feature starring my very own man-crush, Andre Berto. The former ESPN prospect of the year is a prospect no more, now he's a dynamic welterweight with a belt...

Time To Unleash Your Shea Stadium Memories
"June 14, 1987. Mets, Phillies. We're enjoying a beautiful afternoon in the right field stands ..." One of the most famous Shea Stadium stories is fictional, of course. What can top Jerry Seinfeld explaining the physics of The Magic Loogie to Kramer and Newman? But you have real Shea memories, no do...

Mike Greenberg's Intelligence Is Compromised By Mike Golic's Chronic Dumb Jockyness
Mike Greenberg, the well-manicured, impish half of "Mike And Mike In The Morning" was interviewed by Dan Levy on his OnTheDL show and was asked if the show is"dumbed down" to cater to the average sports fan. Greenberg would never undermine or insult his audience like that, but he did take his usual ...

After 21 Months Living in the Trees, Cal-Berkeley Tree Protesters Removed
Yeah, 21 months. The protest began when Cal announced that they were planning a $124 million dollar expansion of athletic facilities just outside their football stadium. The tree-sitters decided the 42 campus trees had to be protected and have been living in their branches ever since. For almost two...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while deciding between pliers and a wrench ... • MLB: Houston at Chicago Cubs (8 p.m., ET). Carlos Zambrano rocks the chin whiskers. [WGN] • Tennis: U.S. Open, men's fourth round and women's quarterfinals, at New York (7 p.m., ET). The only sport that features balls in a can. [USA] • M...

Woman Who Accused the Duke Lacrosse Team Is Writing a Memoir
The memoir, by former exotic dancer Crystal Mangum, is to be entitled: : "The Last Dance for Grace: The Crystal Mangum Story." The book is slated for an October release and she has a co-author. Also, a public relations manager. Do you wonder what sorts of life stories a 29 year old has to share oth...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize your father is quite probably insane ... • Little League Baseball: World Series at South Williamsport, Pa., U.S. semifinal, Waipahu, Hawaii, vs. Mill Creek, Washington (8 p.m., ET). Giant 12-year-olds terrorize the 200-foot fences. [ESPN] • MLB: Los Angeles Angels at Tam...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while staying out of the ocean ... • Olympics: Men's volleyball, USA vs. Bulgaria (8 p.m., ET); Beach volleyball, Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh, U.S., vs. Liesbeth Von Breedam and Liesbeth Mouha, Belgium (9 p.m., ET). Due to a leaky roof, the men's game will be played outdoors as w...

Even The Little Girls In China Are CGI-Enhanced
Many flabbergasted-sounding news stories were released about China's fakery during the peyote-inspired opening ceremonies from Friday in which it appeared for a short period of time that the whole city of Beijing had been outlined with enough pretty explosives to knock down wandering defense satelli...

For Your Viewing Pleasure
• In Progress - Olympics [NBC] • In Progress - Little League World Series Midwest Regional [ESPN] • 1:00 - NFL: Baltimore Ravens at New England Patriots replay [NFL] • 2:00 - Golf: PGA Championship [CBS] • 3:00 - Racing: NASCAR Nationwide Series: Zippo 200 [ABC] • 3:30 - MLB: Yankees at Angels [FOX...

For Those Of You Who Can't Wait Until Tonight To See The Chinese People Go Crazy With The Fireworks
Here's a quick video montage of the opening ceremonies at the Beijing Olympics from this morning (last night? what time is it?) and it's quite as impressive and terrifying as reported: fireworks that resemble a mushroom cloud, flying Chinese fairy children, more fireworks, light displays, FIREWORKS...

Gigantic AT&T Logo Of Doom Rings In Olympic Games
Look, coming out of the floor ... it's the Death Star! Aiieee! It all began in Nov., 2005, when China rolled out its nightmare-inducing Olympic mascots, which may or may not include a two-footed goat. And now it culminates in an orgasm of pomp, color and spectacle — like Walt Disney throwing up, as ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after turning your cat gay ... • MLB: Houston at Chicago Cubs (7 p.m., ET) Return of Kerry Wood looms. [ESPN] • Cheap Seats: Wide World of Sports. (11 p.m., ET). The segment that won six Cheapy Awards. [ESPN Classic] • American Gladiators: (8 p.m., 7 p.m. CT). Yeah, I drive to work in ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after voting for a Schmuck ... • MLB: Cubs at Brewers (8 p.m., ET). Fire up the 12-person beer bong. [WGN] • MLB: Diamondbacks at Padres (10:10 p.m., ET). ComicCon moves out of town, Padres move back in. [FSN] [Channel 4 Padres] • Documentary: City on Fire, The Story of the '68 Detroit...

Will Ohman Has A Little Will Ferrell In Him
Will Ohman has been a solid reliever for the Braves this year, but this is certainly the first time I've ever taken notice of the veteran. Any jackass can pull off a half-decent Christopher Walken, but getting in the head of Harry Caray is a truly noble pursuit. Thanks to the 700 Level for the vid...

I'd Kill For Rusty Wallace's Race-Worn Underpants
Attempted murder: It's not just for metaphors anymore! A man hired a hitman to murder a witness in his upcoming trial and was going to pay him off with his NASCAR collectibles. Suffice to say, it didn't work....

Would You Pay $57,000 To Have These Men In Your Living Room? Rush Limbaugh's Ex-Wife Did
Everyone remembers how awful the Rush Limbaugh experiment on ESPN was. How long did it take for him to say something inappropriate? Two weeks? But Limbaugh resigned, ESPN looked a little foolish, and everyone moved on....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a tough day in court fighting Wal-Mart monkey discrimination ... • Cycling: Tour de France, stage 12,Lavelanet to Narbonne, France (8 p.m., ET). Welcome to Narbonne. Please pee in this cup. [Versus] • Major League Lacrosse: All-Star Game, at Denver (10 p.m., ET). Men with sticks....


College Football Opening Night Conspires to Sink Obama
Proving that no angle can be left unexamined when it comes to politics, Thursday night football games are now the Democrat’s enemy at their National Convention. Because Obama’s convention speech is the same night as the opening of college football season. Uh-oh, a Democratic scheduler was just decap...