emo Page 79 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Gigantic AT&T Logo Of Doom Rings In Olympic Games
Look, coming out of the floor ... it's the Death Star! Aiieee! It all began in Nov., 2005, when China rolled out its nightmare-inducing Olympic mascots, which may or may not include a two-footed goat. And now it culminates in an orgasm of pomp, color and spectacle — like Walt Disney throwing up, as ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after turning your cat gay ... • MLB: Houston at Chicago Cubs (7 p.m., ET) Return of Kerry Wood looms. [ESPN] • Cheap Seats: Wide World of Sports. (11 p.m., ET). The segment that won six Cheapy Awards. [ESPN Classic] • American Gladiators: (8 p.m., 7 p.m. CT). Yeah, I drive to work in ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after voting for a Schmuck ... • MLB: Cubs at Brewers (8 p.m., ET). Fire up the 12-person beer bong. [WGN] • MLB: Diamondbacks at Padres (10:10 p.m., ET). ComicCon moves out of town, Padres move back in. [FSN] [Channel 4 Padres] • Documentary: City on Fire, The Story of the '68 Detroit...

Will Ohman Has A Little Will Ferrell In Him
Will Ohman has been a solid reliever for the Braves this year, but this is certainly the first time I've ever taken notice of the veteran. Any jackass can pull off a half-decent Christopher Walken, but getting in the head of Harry Caray is a truly noble pursuit. Thanks to the 700 Level for the vid...

I'd Kill For Rusty Wallace's Race-Worn Underpants
Attempted murder: It's not just for metaphors anymore! A man hired a hitman to murder a witness in his upcoming trial and was going to pay him off with his NASCAR collectibles. Suffice to say, it didn't work....

Would You Pay $57,000 To Have These Men In Your Living Room? Rush Limbaugh's Ex-Wife Did
Everyone remembers how awful the Rush Limbaugh experiment on ESPN was. How long did it take for him to say something inappropriate? Two weeks? But Limbaugh resigned, ESPN looked a little foolish, and everyone moved on....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a tough day in court fighting Wal-Mart monkey discrimination ... • Cycling: Tour de France, stage 12,Lavelanet to Narbonne, France (8 p.m., ET). Welcome to Narbonne. Please pee in this cup. [Versus] • Major League Lacrosse: All-Star Game, at Denver (10 p.m., ET). Men with sticks....


College Football Opening Night Conspires to Sink Obama
Proving that no angle can be left unexamined when it comes to politics, Thursday night football games are now the Democrat’s enemy at their National Convention. Because Obama’s convention speech is the same night as the opening of college football season. Uh-oh, a Democratic scheduler was just decap...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while your horse enjoys Uncle Jimmy's Hanging Balls ... • College World Series: Championship series, Game 2, Georgia vs. Fresno State in Omaha (7 p.m., ET). That guy in your office who keeps saying "I predict the Bulldogs will win!" ... you have my permission to poke him in both eyes w...

InteractiveGangbang.com Is Surprisingly Esoteric
Thanks to one generous blog reader those looking for some personalized pornography will now be redirected to Fire Joe Morgan. And why would the anonymous party do such a thing? Why to mock Buzz Bissinger of course....

To Watch Tonight
What you're not going to watch because you're not grounded after all ... • College World Series: LSU vs. North Carolina, in Omaha (7 p.m., ET). Two teams enter, one team leaves. Who run Bartertown? [ESPN] • Major League Lacrosse: Washington at Boston (7:30 p.m., ET). Well, another Boston pro sports ...

Presenting Dr. Joe Morgan's Players Of The Day
Caught up in all the hysteria this weekend was Joe Morgan being awarded an honorary doctorate from California State University-East Bay. Don't be too impressed, because I'm pretty sure one summer those came free with the purchase of an In-N-Out Burger combo of equal or lesser value....

Joe Montana And Matt Leinart, BFF, Or Something
It has been amusing, as we flip through the NFL season preview mags we keep buying — are they always out this early? — is that every single one of them mentions Matt Leinart's fun-loving beer bonging. As we said from the get-go, the reason those pictures took off was because they fit into an existin...

To Watch Tonight
Honey, I Blew Up The Kid ... • MLB: Los Angeles Dodgers vs. Chicago Cubs (7 p.m., ET). Joe Torre in the ivy-covered confines. Seems weird ... [ESPN] • WNBA: Indiana Fever vs. Connecticut Sun (7 p.m., ET). What if you're a fan of both? I have Sun Fever, and can't decide! [ESPN2] • NBA playoffs: Weste...

Remembering, On Memorial Day
It's Memorial Day, and, like most of you, we're off until tomorrow. As our one post today, as tradition, we remember Pat Tillman, along with all veterans, and honor all those still serving. If you need something to read today and reflect, here's Gary Smith's outstanding Tillman story from a couple ...

You Mean The Speed-Up Rules Began THIS Weekend?
Hopefully you caught wind of Major League Baseball's new directive to enforce rules that speed up the game, if from no other source, from Jim Leyland's awesome rant. But apparently the Red Sox didn't get the memo. Correction: they read it, they just didn't read it....

Dusty Basketball Courts Far, Far Away
Even though I promised an alarming amount of irreverence for most of today, it would be unconscionable of me not to sendTrue Hoop genius Henry Abbott as many eyeballs as humanly possible over to his story, "Infantry Hoops in Iraq." Afer he inquired about the amount of basketball being played by some...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a day at the penis museum ... • Golf: LPGA, Corning (N.Y.) Classic, first round, (6:30 p.m. ET; same-day tape). So who do you think is hotter; Danielle Ammaccapane or Dina Ammaccapane? [The Golf Channel] • NBA: Eastern Conference finals, Game 2, Detroit at Boston (8:30 p.m., ET)....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you wind down from your wild Victoria Day festivities ... • Arena Football League: Los Angeles at Chicago (8 p.m., ET). Those who are about to die, salute you! [ESPN2] • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Houston (7 p.m., ET). Theodore Roosevelt Lilly attempts to take San Juan Hill. [ESPN] • NBA:...