Tony Parker Needs New Defensive Help

Like many rich people, Tony Parker's house is filled with valuable commodities. Or it was, until the security guard hired to protect said valuables decided to steal some and sell them on Craigslist instead.

Christopher James Carolan—who was already wanted on an unrelated burglary charge—worked for Price Security Company, and was assigned to provide security services to Parker's home. He abruptly resigned last month and then the very next day—lo and behold—he listed an autographed Michael Jordan jersey on Craigslist. A jersey much like the one that used to belong to Parker! How about that!

Are you ready for the dumbest part of the story?

The jersey was listed on Craigslist for $500 or best offer, but sheriff's investigators said the jersey has a value of $20,000.

I'm starting to suspect that this guy didn't really know what he was doing.

Tony Parker's Stolen Jersey Recovered [KSAT] Guard accused of stealing from Tony Parker [San Antonio Express-News]