england Page 88 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tom Brady Is Out Of The Closet And Bent On Murder
Anyone watch Law & Order: Special Victims Unit? Apparently Tuesday's episode involved a thinly disguised version of Tom Brady, who was a gay quarterback implicated in a murder. Sample dialogue: "Lincoln Haver is gay? I thought he was dating Natasha Gorski, that hot supermodel." "You can't blame Linc...

The Patriots Plan On Doing The Faux Perfection Thing Again
It's a grand sports capitalist tradition to trademark a team's or an individual's achievements. Pat Riley grabbed "Threepeat;" Dennis Green, displaying a self-awareness we wouldn't have anticipated, snatched up "They are who we thought they were." The New England Patriots were all over this last ye...

South Park, Cheating, And You
“In America, it’s OK to cheat as long as you cheat your way to the top.” What does Stand and Deliver have in common with Bill Belichick? South Park explains....

Mail Randy Moss To All Your Friends
It turns out that Randy Moss is getting his own postage in the state of West Virginia. That man sure does know how to merchandise....

Manning Vs. Brady, Round II
OK, I might see Tom Brady wearing Ermenegildo Zegna clothing, but Eli Manning, I don't think so. Isn't he more of a Miller's Outpost kind of guy? Anyway, they were both on hand for the big Zegna store opening in Manhattan on Thursday, or so we are led to believe. Mr. Manning here actually looks very...

Would You Hire This Man To Sell Your Underwear?
So word is that Calvin Klein is driving hard to the basket, trying to lure Tom Brady as their underwear model/spokesman. For seven figures. Wow. Do I want to live in a world where Tom Brady makes more for underwear modeling than Heidi Klum?...

Whither Randy Moss?
So the NFL Free Agent Season officially kicked off today, and there was much rejoicing. But the really big news (for me, anyway) is still far way, apparently: Brett Favre is still in limbo, and Randy Moss isn't talking (although speculation is he's heading to the Panthers). Until there's news on eit...

Bill Belichick Knows Where Lesbians Love
At long last, a prominent pro sports coach has come out of the closet in a nationally- ... wait, what? Sorry. Scratch that. While Bill Belichick is the cover boy for this month's issue of Boston Spirit, the city's premier gay magazine, the mag's publisher points out that his photo was just picked mo...


I Know What You're Wondering, And The Answer Is Yes, I Have Taped You Masturbating
Welcome to the Deadspin Guest Lecture Series. Each week, we'll be inviting various luminaries from the world of sports - players, coaches, broadcasters, and MORE! - to speak to you Deadspin folks. This week: Former Patriots assistant and eye of the Spygate maelstrom, Matt Walsh....

Who's Sorry Now? Patriots Spygate Edition
So who does one believe in this Matt Walsh vs. Bill Belichick videotaping-the-Rams-Super-Bowl-walkthrough controversy? Is Walsh, as Belichick would have us believe, a rogue agent, out there operating without any decent restraint, totally beyond the pale of any acceptable human conduct? Or is Belichi...

Rams' Lawyers Attempt to Do What Team Could Not
It's two weeks after Losergate (or, if you will, Super Bowl XLII) and people are still making a hue and cry over cheating charges leveled at the now-humbled Patriots. The latest comes from former Rams player Willie Gary and two Rams season ticket holders, who are suing the Pats, seeking $100 millio...

Finally, You Know What Those Sad And Poor Kids In Mock Title Shirts Look Like: Sad, And Poor.
The New York Post helpfully had the pictures this morning of what we've all been asking: What happened to those Patriots 19-0 jerseys?...

There's No 'I' In 'Douchebag'
Drew over at KSK asked Johnny at Metroville to write a piece about what it means to be a Patriots fan, one week later. We decided it would be a better fit here. You decide....

The Patriots Petition: Greatest Hits
Time to check in on the petition for the NFL to investigate the final 1:40 of Super Bowl XLII, as seen on Petition Online.com (and mentioned here on Saturday). Petitions on this site are usually pretty tepid, bewildering affairs: Take for example petition for the betterment of UNC football (26 signa...

In Reebok's Alternate Universe, The Patriots Are 19-0
You had to figure that Reebok filmed two versions of its Perfectville Super Bowl commercial, and indeed, here it is; as reported by Larry Brown Sports. The highlight for me is the deliveryman with the "Patriots 19-0" T-shirt … possibly the only one of those still remaining in the Northern Hemisphere...

Light Dawns On The Patriots
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....

OK, Last Photoshop, We Promise!
Except for the ones below, that is. There's just so many amusing ones out there, that it's hard to stop. And now, for the final word on Super Bowl XLII, we'll hand the mic over to Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, who as you might imagine is quite enthused with the result. In fact, it may be his fin...

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'
Ah, Victor Thompson. Poor dumb sap. Let this be a lesson to all you kids out there; tattoos are permanent, but football winning streaks are not. Sure, it was all fun and games when he decided to get the Patriots logo etched into both sides of his skull earlier this season. What could possibly go wro...

Analyzing Belichick's Insane Decision Not To Kick
Of all the oddities during Super Bowl XLII, the one that might stick, and the one that might hurt the reputation of Patriots coach Bill Belichick the most, was his decision to go for it instead of sending kicker Stephen Gostkowski out for a 49-yard field goal. That doesn't look good when you lose a ...