evil Page 47 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Too <em>Moneyball</em> For Their Own Good: How The Mets Screwed Up The Kazmir Trade
The Angels released Scott Kazmir on Wednesday, and we had seen it coming for years. Hitters clobbered Kazmir in 2009, 2010, and, in his one 2011 start. He lost his control and velocity simultaneously, and stopped striking hitters out....

Duke Tweets The Dookiest Tweet Imaginable
I'd be a very happy man if someone in the University of Arizona public relations department retweeted this. [@DukeNews]...

Watch Man U's Gary Neville Throw A Truly Terrible First Pitch At A White Sox Game
Gary Neville, who played right back for England and Manchester United for perhaps forever, before retiring this year, was in Chicago on Thursday night to throw out the first pitch before the White Sox-A's game. Man U and the Chicago Fire will be playing a friendly shortly. He and his 400 caps are ...

Incoming Dukie Wants To Give Himself A Nickname
"Wearing number 0 next year! My nick name is going to be subzero! Cause of number and because my moves freeze people, got ice in my veins!!" Sigh. It just happens so quickly. [@AustinRivers25, Via Ballin' is a Habit]...

Chile To Investigate Pablo Neruda's Death; FIFA-Adviser Henry Kissinger To Investigate His Navel
A judge in Chile just ordered an investigation into the mysterious death of poet Pablo Neruda, who supposedly succumbed to prostate cancer 12 days after a Henry Kissinger-backed right wing coup installed a hideous dictator who brutalized and slaughtered his own people for years. The circumstances su...

David Beckham Secures A Post-Soccer Future In Field Security With This Fan Takedown
English soccer clubs sometimes play "testimonials," in which they bring back their older stars for a friendly match of former rivals. Like parades or bowling parties, it's a nice way to make the old folk feel appreciated for still being around. Yesterday, with Man United playing Juventus in the Ga...

Today In Great Quotes: Ray Lewis On How Evil Pertains To The Lockout
"Do this research if we don't have a season — watch how much evil, which we call crime, watch how much crime picks up, if you take away our game," Ray Lewis told ESPN's Sal Paolantonio....

This Is What It Looks Like To Almost Get Trampled By A Runaway Racehorse
Hickey posted about this traumatizing moment at the Grand Annual Steeplechase at Australia's Warrnambool carnival this morning, when a wild racehorse leaped over a fence and into a crowd of people, injuring an 80-year-old woman and a two-year-old boy and scaring the shit out of an unspecified numb...

Charlie Villanueva And Ryan Hollins Celebrate End Of Miserable Seasons With An Eye-Gouging Affair
The Cleveland Cavaliers, at 18-63, boast the second-worst record in the NBA. The Pistons don't have much more to brag about (although they do have Rodney Stuckey) at 29-52. Neither will have a place in the playoffs following their final regular-season games tomorrow night. So perhaps Detroit's Cha...

Dookie’s Obnoxious “Open Letter” To Kyrie Irving As Obnoxious As You’d Expect
Last night's NCAA title game was horrible to watch, so thank goodness Chris Cusack of the Duke Chronicle, who was apparently born with a bronzed asshole, is sending the 2011 college basketball season out on a high note by writing this very hateable open letter to Kyrie Irving....

If A Hockey Writers' Protest Emerges From Long Island, And No One Hears It...
So, as surprising as the thought might be, there is a hockey team playing its games in Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, best known to you as the venue that hosted that awful concert you once had to drag your niece to. That hockey team is the 30-37-12 New York Islanders, which even has a couple spr...

Coach K, Please Shut Up (Also: Jalen Rose Arrested For DUI)
We do some Duke-hating around these parts. And maybe a hair too much of it, if you ask no one. I mean, hey, Duke lost to VCU in 2007 in the first round, before it was cool....

Let Us Rejoice In Duke's Misery
The Duke University men's basketball team has earned a special privilege in college sports and within March Madness: It will never be considered the underdog. As far as we're concerned, for as long as Coach K is patrolling the sideline and as long as his hair stays a surreal jet-black, Duke will ...

If You Didn't Know Derrick Williams Before, You Do Now
"He just gives you a presence all the time, that kid. He looks like he never gets tired. He is unique. He's a very unusual player to guard. He's a great player. A great kid. I told him afterward he is special .... He gives you confidence. You always know you have that guy on the court. There is a ph...

Derrick Rose Made This Young Hawks Fan Cry
Your morning roundup for March 22 23, the day Glenn Beck contemplated launching his own channel, and we all contemplated launching ourselves off bridges....

Duke Alums Are Worried About Craziness Of The Young Cameron Crazies
There is a crisis in Durham. Dennis and Elizabeth Chen, '02 and '00 Duke grads and presumably husband and wife, wrote a letter to the Duke Chronicle proposing a Crazie-off challenge to the university's current student body. At the Michigan game on Sunday, the letter alleges, the Crazies practiced th...

Donald Sterling Has Seized The "Guy Who Hates Cancer Patients" Label
Several tipsters took it upon themselves to point out a story about then-Los Angeles Clippers assistant coach Kim Hughes's battle with prostate cancer, and how the necessary surgery wasn't covered by the team's medical-insurance plan. There were plenty of stories and posts about it this week. In on...

ESPN, Jalen Rose, And The Manufactured "Uncle Tom" Controversy
Big ratings last weekend for ESPN's Fab Five film: Bill Simmons says it was the highest rated ESPN doc ever....

Roger Goodell Almost Certainly Fell Asleep In A Tanning Bed Before This ESPN Interview
Your morning roundup for March 16, the day we lost frequent Em and Dre collaborator Nate Dogg....

The Fab Five Are Still Shit-Talking Christian Laettner
Did everyone watch "Fab Five" last night? If you're like us, you were most excited by the teaser of Jimmy King calling Christian Laettner a "bitch." Turns out he wasn't the only one with choice words for the face of that era's Duke team....