ew Page 2045 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Well, That Sucked
At no time was Super Bowl 53 as compelling, entertaining, or satisfying as that video of a naked guy pooping while flipping into a lake. Sunday evening would have been better spent watching that again. But we watch the Super Bowls we are given, so our options are either to admire the defensive domin...
Tom Brady Got <i>Thiiiiiis</i> Close To Kissing Bob Kraft On The Lips
The Patriots won the Super Bowl again (hooray, whatever). As the celebrations for the lowest-scoring title game in this era of the league’s history began, an inescapable scrum of photographers, security personnel, and CBS’s Tracy Wolfson immediately began to surround Tom Brady as he celebrated with ...
God Fucking Dammit
Well the Patriots won the fucking Super Bowl again, defeating the Rams 13-3. It was somehow even less fun to watch than that last sentence was to read, as 53 minutes elapsed before anything of substance happened on the offensive side of the ball. Tom Brady now has more Super Bowl wins than any other...
Exciting Play Almost Happens
Holy shit! This could have really swung things in the Patriots’ favor by giving them the best field position they would have had all day! Instead, it resulted in a good stiff-arm for Anderson and a seven-yard gain. Too bad the ball is an oblong shape and it just escaped the grasp of Dont’a Hightower...
Super Bowl Record Broken
If ever there were a Super Bowl to set a punting record, this was the one....
Patriots' Patrick Chung Exits Super Bowl In Air Cast After Going Down With Arm Injury
Patriots safety Patrick Chung was taken out of the Super Bowl on his own power after suffering an arm injury during a tackle attempt in the third quarter of the game....
At Least It Can Only Get Better From Here, Right?
Well that was horrendously boring....
Super Bowl Officials Couldn't Even Get The Make-Up Call On Nickell Robey-Coleman Right
You gotta hand it to NFL officials, they always find a way to screw-up even the simplest of lay-ups....
Report: The Patriots Blame Tom Brady's Quack Trainer For Gronk's Injuries
Rob Gronkowski is hobbled and washed, and Patriots brass at least in part blames Alex Guerrero, Tom Brady’s quack/body advisor. That’s according to a report by the NFL Network’s Michael Giardi:...
The Warriors Coaching Staff Is Heartbroken About Missing The All-Star Game
The Warriors coaching staff has worked two All-Star Games in their run of dominating the league, and that apparently that’s enough. Or maybe they just really don’t want to spend a weekend in Charlotte. (Either way, who can blame them?) After beating the Lakers last night, though, the coaches’ midsea...
NC State's 24-Point Performance Against Virginia Tech Made Me Want To Vomit
In a home loss against a depleted opponent, a team that sportswriters determined to be one of the top-25 teams in the country couldn’t muster a point total much higher than their ranking. No. 23 NC State dropped an absolute deuce of a game against No. 12 Virginia Tech, 47-24, for an abhorrent offens...
Here's An Underwhelming Anthony Davis Trade Offer From The Lakers That The Pelicans Probably Leaked
The Lakers’ latest attempt at bringing one of the NBA’s elite talents to Los Angeles was pretty underwhelming, reportedly:...
Anthony Davis's Dad: “I Would Never Want My Son To Play For Boston”
The Celtics and Lakers are both circling around Anthony Davis, with the former trying to slow things down while the latter attempts to slam on the gas pedal. Even though Davis seems to want to go to the Lakers, Boston can put together a better trade package. Kyrie Irving’s free agency only compounds...
Kristaps Porzingis Wasn't A Knick
The Knicks were never the right team for Kristaps Porzingis. He’s not quite their type. The youngster deviated from the blue-and-orange standard in far too many deal-breaking respects. ...
Is James Dolan Retaliating Against A Reporter For Saying True Things About The Godawful Knicks?
Stefan Bondy, the New York Knicks beat reporter for the New York Daily News, has been excluded from two different Knicks-related press events in just over a month, and it wouldn’t be a surprise if the snubs are retaliation for the NYDN’s critical coverage of the New York Knicks’ notoriously sensitiv...
"Wanting Kevin Durant" Is Not A Plan
The Knicks sent franchise centerpiece Kristaps Porzingis to the Mavericks on Thursday in exchange for a couple of future picks, two players they have no use for, and Dennis Smith Jr., an unhappy, defensively challenged, and poor-shooting point guard who struggled to fit with Luka Doncic and whom the...
Kyrie Irving's Number Is Next Up In Disgruntled Superstar Bingo
With Kristaps Porzingis shipped off to Dallas and Anthony Davis in limbo between his current team and some hypothetical future team, the NBA’s attention has shifted over to the next potential domino: Kyrie Irving. Unlike Porzingis or Davis, Irving is the centerpiece of an actually good team, though ...
The Knicks Say Kristaps Porzingis Wasn't On Board With Their Plan, Which Is Definitely Not Just A Magic 8-Ball
The Knicks traded away Kristaps Porzingis, taking back Dennis Smith Jr., expiring contracts, and a couple of first-round draft picks, one of which is contingent on the condition of another draft pick, and may finally convey under weird, potentially unappealing circumstances. To hear the Knicks tell ...
At Least Magic Johnson's Phone Calls About Anthony Davis Are Finally Being Answered
With the NBA trade deadline exactly one week away and Anthony Davis currently on ice, the Los Angeles Lakers’ only real window to trade for the Brow without Danny Ainge and Boston’s superior collection of assets getting involved is... right now, actually. Because Boston can beat pretty much any offe...
![Dear God, What The Hell Happened Over Here [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/eneldfdri2w01ytqidvi.jpg)
Dear God, What The Hell Happened Over Here [Update]
All you had to do was help the big boy get back on his feet. Take care of his ACL repair, keep him hydrated, and at least pretend to keep tabs on his progress. While he’s laid up, give him a refresher course on tanking, limit his direct exposure to Enes Kanter, and show him some nice Duke highlight...